Dating Over 40: Cutting Things Short Turns Up Attraction – Less Is More

Has anyone ever read David DeAngelo’s dating e-newsletter?  I have found it to be a rich resource for discovering what this male-oriented dating expert thinks men should do to capture a woman’s attention. It Gives me the flip-side peak into how men think.

In his most recent email, David claims that after a man asks for and gets your phone number of email, he should make a quick exit stage left to build some tension, curiosity and leave with an air of mystery.  After all, a man in demand, a guy who has places to go and people to see, is more attractive than someone with idle time on his hands.

Well, what’s good for the goose is for the gander or is it the other way around?

In any case, I think this very same advice works for women as well.  That’s why I’m all in favor of short first meetings. While some experts claim coffee dates are not romantic, I say it depends on where, what time, who you are and how you handle yourself.  Bit still, the point is, don’t let a coffee date, roll into a dinner date, and into a night cap date.  Oh No.

Why? Because this dramatizes that you have nothing else to do and your schedule is wide open.  So much of your initial attraction is not about what you say but instead about body language, non-verbal cues and reading between the lines.  Hence, lingering, no matter how much you may bat your eyelashes, is not that attractive. Being a little less available is far more appealing.

Oh, I know – you don’t want to play games. But dating is a game. Not an ugly one of manipulation, but one of presentation and positioning. It’s about making a good impression.  And the best impression leaves him wanting more – just as David DeAngelo says that women want.

That’s because what is readily available is not ever as desirable as what is just out of reach. Women complain all the time about guys who are too nice and around too much. This the very same concept!

The point is, to maximize your Attraction in Action, quit dragging out your first dates. Have a nice time for an hour or 90 minutes, flirt your butt off, then high tail it out of there and leave him wanting MORE. If you tell him all your cute stories in one night, what will you talk about next time?  Leave some mystery and let him wonder where you’re off to. Give him something to chase and if he’s interested, he will most definitely follow the trail.




Single for too long, Ronnie wanted to find love. So, she made a few tweaks and then dated 30 men in 15 months to meet her adorable husband Paul. Discovering the keys to midlife dating, she founded It’s Never Too Late for Love to help other smart, successful women find love too! Her mission is to share her proven dating advice  and keen insights about men with women everywhere who are serious about finding love with the right man. Ronnie Ann Ryan, MBA, CCC is a Certified Coach who has helped 1,000’s of midlife women with her Love & Dating Coach services. She’s been featured on BBC’s 5 Live Radio, NBC, ABC, and Fox News, NPR, eHarmony,,, Connecticut Magazine among others around the world. An established author, you can find her 6 books on Amazon.

2 thoughts on “Dating Over 40: Cutting Things Short Turns Up Attraction – Less Is More”

  1. First meetings don’t have to be romantic. I don’t know you and you don’t know me. Can we first figure out if we can even stand to look at each other and be in each other’s presence for 5 minutes before we start thinking about romance? If there is a romanctic connection, that’s fine…if there isn’t, that’s fine too.


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