Dating Over 40: Crushing on a Man

When was the last time you had a crush? Can you remember back that far? Or maybe you’re having one right now? A crush is a rush of intense attraction. One that makes your heart do that school girl pitter patter. You’re excited, maybe giggly, sometimes flirty. You’ve been caught actually batting your eye lashes.(Don’t worry, it’s a natural reflex.

But it can also manifest itself as intense s-e-x-u-a-l chemistry. You can feel the electricity jumping from the skin on your arm to the skin on his. The tingly rushes are exhilarating. That’s the kind of chemistry that makes you head for the closest freezer or water fountain just to cool things down after any interaction with "HIM."
Is this a good thing? Well that depends on a number of things:
  • First off, are you seeing someone else or are you available?
  • Second, is the guy single and available?
  • Third, he’s he the right kind of guy for you or a potential bad boy?

If you’re both single and he meets your initial criteria for a potential date, that’s great news! Flirt to your heart’s content. Make the most of mutual attraction and watch and wait to see how things evolve. It’s best not to pursue him or assert too much influence to make it happen. But you can be friendly, flirty and follow his lead.

This kind of crush or attraction is energizing, fun, adventurous and terribly exciting.

However, if you are available and he is NOT or he is a "bad boy" type, that’s a whole different story.

If you start feeling intense chemistry wit the wrong man, let that be a signal to you. Wake up to smell the coffee and recognize the emotional danger you are exposing yourself too. I hear too many women tell me "they just couldn’t help it." Or my favorite, "It just happened." Nothing just happens. You agreed at some level or point.

Now who am I to tell you not to risk an affair or travel down a road that looks like fun? No one. No one at all. I’m not here to judge you. Nope. My job is to help you keep from getting hurt and to hold your best interest in mind.

I can tell you that if you want to guard your heart and not get tied up with the wrong kind of guy for you, look at the signs and pay attention to the red flags. Occasionally, the red flags don’t crop up. Instead they come as a total surprise. Yet, more often than not, red flags are popping up like fireworks on the fourth of July. But hey – you like fireworks. so you choose to ignore them.

Crushing on a man can help you feel alive again. Re-energize your belief in love. Rekindle your allure and s-e-x drive. All of these things are fabulous. But that doesn’t mean it’s wise to take the next step. And a good crush is sometimes better left as it is – an interactive fantasy, a safe harbor for flirting and feeling like the attractive woman you really are. Go ahead and enjoy it. But don’t expect that it means anything and you will keep your head on your shoulders and your emotional heart intact..






Single for too long, Ronnie wanted to find love. So, she made a few tweaks and then dated 30 men in 15 months to meet her adorable husband Paul. Discovering the keys to midlife dating, she founded It’s Never Too Late for Love to help other smart, successful women find love too! Her mission is to share her proven dating advice  and keen insights about men with women everywhere who are serious about finding love with the right man. Ronnie Ann Ryan, MBA, CCC is a Certified Coach who has helped 1,000’s of midlife women with her Love & Dating Coach services. She’s been featured on BBC’s 5 Live Radio, NBC, ABC, and Fox News, NPR, eHarmony,,, Connecticut Magazine among others around the world. An established author, you can find her 6 books on Amazon.

2 thoughts on “Dating Over 40: Crushing on a Man”

  1. Thanks Fay for your positive feedback. The Blogging Women’s Directory is jamming with loads of women’s blogs so check it out ladies.

  2. Very nice job with this blog Ronnie! I have finished my review and “It’s Never To Late For Love” will appear on the Blogging Women directory.

    Thank you for sharing your blog and I wish you much continued success.


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