Dating Over 40: Confessions of a Matchmaker – She Recommends Using a Dating Coach!

Back on October 8 on CBS morning news and on the web site, they interviewed Patti Novak from the show Confessions of a Matchmaker – that was on A&E Saturday nights for a while.  I’ve mentioned the show before – it was pretty entertaining and Patti does use "tough love" as she calls it. .Direct and right on target.

Anyway, in this article on dating tips – Patti suggests that people try a dating coach if they are not having the success they want!  Hooray! It’s nice to be seen and mentioned as a valuable resource.  Thanks Patti.

She also has a bunch of dating tips that are to the point and very helpful. The only thing I disagree with is she says to avoid coffee dates and book stores where I think these are good ideas.

Patti may mean to avoid these options for a first date from a matchmaker and then I would agree – because you are really on a first date rather than just meeting for the first time.  From the Internet – the first meeting is still part of the screening process.  With a matchmaker like Patti – she does the initial screening for you both -so a real dinner date makes more sense.

In her tips about hiring a matchmaker, she suggests asking the matchmaker how many prospects of the opposite sex they have in their data  base to help make your decision.  I remember asking that questions to the dating service I tried years ago – no specific answer.  I doubt many would answer that question. 

First of all – it only takes a few good dates so from the matchmakers perspective – why answer and potentially chase somebody away if the number seems too small?  And its rather subjective. Who can say what the right number is?  But the third point is – they don’t want you to know if they are limited in the man department. 

I think the question should be asked anyway – if nothing else you get to watch the response. This will be more important than listening.  Because a matchmaker who is uncomfortable with the data base will squirm, blink, move his/her feet a lot, scratch his/her nose or avoid eye contact – all signs of not telling the truth or hiding something. After watching that scenario – then you can think about what the person actually said.

Don’t get me wrong. There are plenty of solid matchmakers out there who are honest and doing good -offering a valuable service. Just be smart and ask a lot of questions before you hand over the cash.  Think of it like buying a car (this coming from a car-dealer’s daughter mind you.) Walk away if you feel overly pressured. You call back later to sign up if you still want to do it.  You might get a better deal.  You might not.  But either way, it’s is a good negotiation tactic and it keeps you in the driver’s seat..


Single for too long, Ronnie wanted to find love. So, she made a few tweaks and then dated 30 men in 15 months to meet her adorable husband Paul. Discovering the keys to midlife dating, she founded It’s Never Too Late for Love to help other smart, successful women find love too! Her mission is to share her proven dating advice  and keen insights about men with women everywhere who are serious about finding love with the right man. Ronnie Ann Ryan, MBA, CCC is a Certified Coach who has helped 1,000’s of midlife women with her Love & Dating Coach services. She’s been featured on BBC’s 5 Live Radio, NBC, ABC, and Fox News, NPR, eHarmony,,, Connecticut Magazine among others around the world. An established author, you can find her 6 books on Amazon.

1 thought on “Dating Over 40: Confessions of a Matchmaker – She Recommends Using a Dating Coach!”

  1. Your father’s a car dealer? Oh, I wish I’d known!

    We just bought a car and felt pressured. We didn’t walk away, and now we own a car we we were told gets 22mph. It gets 17.

    I wish I’d spoken to you first, Sage One!

    Nice post today, too.


Leave a Comment