Dating Over 40: Carefully Choose Photos You Post Online to Improve Success Rate

Many of my clients show me the photos they plan to post with their online profile. As part of coaching, I review photos and provide comments. My goal of course is to ensure that people post the best possible photos to get teh best possible results.

Now you are probably thinking to yourself – well duh! Who would post anything else?

You’d be very surprised – or maybe not if you’ve been looking around the Internet dating sites. Looking at pictures can be a fascinating study of what people must think of themselves. It’s truly astonishing!

Here are several examples of how people choose to show themselves to others, just to save a buck.

1) Joe took his own photo by holding the camera at arm’s length in front of  him.  Not only was it a bad photo, but looked like he took it himself – distorted, crooked and unflattering!

2) Deirdre had what must have been a family photo that she had cut herself out of. This is actually just as tacky as cutting your ex out of the photo. I have literally seen too many pictures of a woman with a mysterious tie across her dress, or a shoulder with a gouge because an ex’s arm was removed. And men can be just as guilty of poor photo editing. Never cut anyone out of a photo! if it can’t be easily cropped – please use a different photo.

3) So many people use a business photo taken in poor lighting. You may be having fun at a convention, but the background and the lighting won’t be flattering. And what is in the background DOES MATTER!

4) Another bad background example showed Cal standing in front of his staircase. Not bad composition except for all the laundry hanging all over the banister! Please think about what is behind you because it all adds up to send a message about you. What impression do you want to make? Don’t let items behind you ruin a good photo. Take a few minutes to pick a better location or simply clean up.

5) Sometimes in the cropping process, the photo gets distorted. If this happens to you, either start over, have someone else with better software do the cropping or use a different photo. You want to look your best, not distorted right?

Please don’t just slap a photo on your profile and go for it. I realize that getting something up is more important than perfection. But I’m not suggesting perfection – just being smart. Since you will be selected first based on your photo , give careful consideration to the ones that you choose. Make sure the picture actually looks like you, is fairly recent, shows you at your best (or close to it) and is free of distractions that detract from your good looks.



Single for too long, Ronnie wanted to find love. So, she made a few tweaks and then dated 30 men in 15 months to meet her adorable husband Paul. Discovering the keys to midlife dating, she founded It’s Never Too Late for Love to help other smart, successful women find love too! Her mission is to share her proven dating advice  and keen insights about men with women everywhere who are serious about finding love with the right man. Ronnie Ann Ryan, MBA, CCC is a Certified Coach who has helped 1,000’s of midlife women with her Love & Dating Coach services. She’s been featured on BBC’s 5 Live Radio, NBC, ABC, and Fox News, NPR, eHarmony,,, Connecticut Magazine among others around the world. An established author, you can find her 6 books on Amazon.

1 thought on “Dating Over 40: Carefully Choose Photos You Post Online to Improve Success Rate”

  1. A good friend of mine (awesome comedian, Becky Donohue) does material about a guy she dated whose MySpace photo was a picture of his mother — IN HER COFFIN. Seriously. (Yes, she went out with him after seeing this, and yes, she and her therapist have spoken about it.)

    I realize that MySpace isn’t 100% a dating site, but still, it gives you a great reason never to underestimate a person’s inability to pick an appropriate “meeting people” photo.


Leave a Comment