Author Archives: Ronnie Ann Ryan

Worried About His Rebound After Divorce? Here’s What To Do

A rebound after divorce is the last thing you want to be in a man’s life. So, if you’re worried you are dating a man who is on the rebound, here’s what you can do.

rebound after divorceAm I His Rebound After Divorce?

You’re looking for a serious relationship and you think you found the guy. Yay! Yet, there are a few little things that make you nervous. Sometimes everything is totally amazing, and other times you feel a little distance.

He did just get divorced and you wonder if this could be a rebound after divorce. He seems fine, but divorce can be rough emotionally, financially and more. So, how can you know?

Signs of a Rebound Relationship

First you need to know what to look for as signs of a rebounder. Here are a number of clues that indicate you could be in trouble, because he’s not really ready for the kind of relationship you want.

1.He’s Rushing In

There are men who come into your life fast, creating a whirlwind that sweeps you off your feet. He wants to see you all the time which is very romantic. Finally, you feel desired, wanted and sexy. This is hot! After a long dry spell or one dud after another, this guy is a refreshing change.

Trouble is, when a relationship comes out of nowhere, it often fizzles out just as fast. He might need the attention, want to feel romantic or desired again himself, or just wants to be adored by a new woman to be sure he’s still got it. None of that bodes well for your heart girlfriend.

If you are thinking long-term, it’s your job to put the brakes on and prevent things from moving too quickly. You can hold him off a few days each time he asks you out, saying you aren’t available tonight, but what about Thursday?

Take time to vet a man to be sure he’s a good match before you rush in and get your heart ripped out.

2. He Doesn’t Want to Be Alone

Does he really want to see YOU or is it that he can’t be alone? This happens to men too, not just women. If he seems a little clingy or stays in touch day and night, that is not healthy behavior, especially early on in dating.

In fact, the clingy factor is a huge warning sign that he’s not emotionally healthy or independent. A new relationship can be just a distraction to avoid dealing with his emotions.

3. He Can’t Stop Talking about His Ex

This is a massive red flag! Don’t try to help a man get over his ex or heal from the pain of his divorce.  Whether he hates her or has nice things to say, stay away! If she’s still on his mind, he doesn’t have room in his heart for you too.

Women who take this on are usually dumped as soon as he’s feeling better. Then he goes on to marry the very next woman! Happens all the time. He won’t want to be reminded of his wounds and that’s exactly what you represent. Don’t do it.

4. His Divorce Isn’t Final Yet

When you date a man who is not yet divorced, he hasn’t taken time to heal. Even if he’s been separated for a while, he’s still married. I don’t care what he tells you. Everyone, man or woman, needs time to process the emotions of dissolving a marriage.

A man who is separated most often wants to play the field or can’t handle his wife’s rejection, so he has to prove that he’s still a desirable man. I myself was a victim of this and even though Jeff said all the right things, he ghosted me soon enough.

5. He Doesn’t Have Time for You

Some men like the idea of dating you, but they can’t seem to find the time. Even if things start out well, a rebound relationship tends to last 2-3 months. At that point, he may be faced with multiple priorities and none of them are you.

He says he cares, please be patient, and he wants to be with you. He just needs to finish ____ (fill in the blank – painting his house, a big work project, his taxes, etc. ) It doesn’t matter what the  excuse is. His actions clearly show he’s not ready or he’d be with you.

Don’t believe his excuses and don’t be patient. Move on to find a man who is ready now.

Am I His Rebound After Divorce?

If you are even asking yourself this question, that’s a sign too. Your intuition or gut instincts shows up for a reason. Pay attention to those nudges from spirit that you might not be in a good situation.

I wish I had paid attention when my intuition told me Jeff didn’t care about me. But, I pushed away that inner warning, thinking it was just my fear. WRONG. The message was clear as day, but I didn’t listen and boy was I sorry.

Is the First Relationship After Divorce Always a Rebound?

This is a really good question and I did a bit of research just to be sure.  According to Psychology Today, there is newer research that says rebound relationships might actually be healthy. Now, the article doesn’t say they work out. But here’s what it does say…

Apparently, dating again without waiting too long, helps you build confidence about being “dateable.” That makes sense. So, if you are willing to date after a few months of recovery, (vs. years), people seem to be more comfortable with intimacy, trust and safety in being in relationship. That’s pretty interesting!

Are Willing to Be Casual?

Perhaps it all depends on your own status. If you’re just getting back out there, casual dating could be just what you need vs. trying to get serious quickly.  Go slowly and get comfortable with men and dating again. That’s how to get your sea legs back. Later, you can look for lasting love.

If You’re Serious about Lasting Love, Do This

On the other hand, if you are ready right now for a serious relationship, avoid the recently divorced man and you’ll avoid the entire rebound question. That’s just smart dating strategy and an empowering mindset that will keep you on the right path to find the love you crave.

Some women tell me they can’t help who they fall in love with. That is so not true.! If you know he’s recently divorced, or it hasn’t been finalized, and you want lasting love – move on IMMEDIATELY. Don’t let yourself get to know him and end up in love.

What’s your status? Are you serious about finding an epic love, but can’t seem to find a man who wants the same? Maybe there’s something getting in the way. Why not book a complimentary call with me? Let’s find out what subconscious blocks might be keeping you single and how I can help.

Dating A Busy Man? Here Are 10 Signs He’s Really In Love With You

Is he in love with you? When you’re seeing a man who is super busy, there are 10 behaviors to look for that let you know he really does care.

in love with youNot Knowing Is Very Hard

You’ve been seeing this guy for several months and things are going really well. You enjoy his company and “get” each other. There are times when it’s absolutely undeniable he is in love with you and cares deeply.

However, there are other times that make you question everything. When your man gets extremely busy that can leave you wondering where you stand. That is such an uncomfortable place to be. It’s hard to deal with his schedule and you wish things were clearer.

Rather than continuing to feel uncertain and worry, you can watch for the signs that let you know for sure he’s in love with you. Once you notice several of these behaviors, you can take a deep breath and relax for a while until that super busy time passes and he’s back to his normal wonderful self.

10 Signs He’s in Love With You

The good news is that the seven behaviors I”m about to reveal are pretty good indicators that he’s serious about you and wants to keep you in his life. With so much out there that helps you figure out when a man is NOT into you, this is like a breath of fresh and positive air!

1. He Stays in Touch

Even when he’s crazy busy, he doesn’t skip his usual call or makes sure to keep in touch. He asks how you are doing too, vs. just updating you about his world. This shows he really does care because he wants to know about your life. That’s always a good sign he’s in love with you.

2. He Seeks Out Your Opinion

Your man wants to know what you think and seeks out your advice or ideas. Now you know he respects your opinion which is big. He wouldn’t ask if you didn’t offer something helpful or wise and you contribute to his decision-making process. Most men who do this are in the relationship for the long haul.

3. He Likes to Make You Happy

He’s one of those men that picks up little gifts that let you know he’s thinking about you. He’ll remember a song you like or your favorite pasta dish. That thoughtfulness puts a smile on your face and certainly reveals he is thinking about you, even when he’s not around.

4. He Respects You and Treats You Well

No matter what, your man always shows you respect and treats you like a lady. Even if he doesn’t have time to share all the details of a story, he apologizes for cutting you short and promises to make it up to you. And he does! You’ve never been treated so well and it feels incredibly good. That’s another way you know he’s really in love with you.

5. He Really Listens to You

When you have something important to say, about your job, family or friends, or about your relationship, he REALLY listens. He stops what he’s doing or sets aside time to give you his full attention. This makes you feel HEARD and understood, something you may not have found in your previous relationships. This is the sign of a good communicator and a caring man with a high emotional IQ.

6. He Supports Your Dreams

You have a few serious dreams – things that matter to you in the big picture of your life. And you are working towards making these goals come true. Thankfully, you have a man by your side who fully supports your dreams.

He has suggestions, but holds back from telling you what to do. And each time you finish a good size chunk, he congratulates you and says how proud he is.  Now that’s a good man!

7. He Makes You a Priority

When your man has been nose-to-the-grindstone at work or away, as soon as he is done or returns, you are one of his top priorities. He doesn’t put his buddies or others before you at times like this because you are the one who makes the biggest difference in his life.

He wants to spend time together since he’s happy when with you. No matter how busy he gets, he finds time for you which is how you know he’s really in love with you.

8. He Loves You Even When You’re Not Your Best

One way to know he really loves you is how he reacts when you are not at your best. Anyone can have a bad day and your guy understands that. He doesn’t flip out or walk away. He stays and works things out. He tells you everything will be OK which is so comforting. This is when you really appreciate him and know he’s a keeper.

9. He Helps You When It’s Not Convenient

This amazing man is willing to help you whenever you need it. Not when it’s convenient for him or when he can squeeze you in somewhere down the road. He actually goes out of his way to make sure you have what you need, because he’s really in love with you. This is something you value about him like no other man.

10. He’s Part of Your Life and You’re Part of His

Your beau joins you at your family gatherings and you go with his family as well. That’s a big sign that you are “in” and he’s so in love with you. When he starts introducing you to his closest friends and family, you are crossing into a new and more intimate phase of relationship. Moving into exclusivity is often the step right before he starts including you in his every day life.

Signs He Loves You Deeply

Now you know at least 10 signs that the man you’re seeing is deeply in love with you. These behaviors are not things men who don’t care will get involved in. It takes a certain kind of man who has strong feelings for a woman before you’ll notice many of these signs. Once you see them,  know without question that he’s crazy about you. And I’m quite sure you deserve it!

If you want to know what limiting beliefs might be getting in the way of you finding your one and only, schedule a time to talk to me. Let’s get to the bottom of what’s happening for you with relationships so you can find the right man for you. Schedule your complimentary 45-minute call now.

Understand The Difference Between Flirting Vs. True Attraction

Flirting vs. true attraction – How can you tell the difference and know if he really likes you or is just having fun with you?

flirting vs. true attractionFlirting or Serious Attraction?

You’re out for a night of man hunting, looking for that quality man who will fulfill your dreams of love.  After an hour chatting and laughing with your girlfriend, you catch this man’s eye across the restaurant’s bar.  He shoots you a big smile. You wonder is this flirting vs. true attraction?

You smile back, then gracefully turn away. A few minutes later, you sneak a peek and catch his eye again. He laughs and holds his drink up in the air like he’s toasting to you. He’s so handsome, you get a little chill that runs down your back.

Next thing you know he’s walking towards you. That makes you a little nervous, but a little excited too. He approaches, says hi and then you two engage in what turns out to be a fun conversation. Yeah! He makes you laugh and he’s got that twinkle in his eye you always find so attractive.

Things continue to go well and he asks for your number. Wahoo! It’s been a while and this feels so good. Then the texting begins. Good morning sunshine. Sweet dreams sweetheart. Maybe some conversation during the day too. He has a great sense of humor and you look forward to these little texting exchanges.

You See Him Again

The following weekend you go out again with your girlfriend to the same place. Lo and behold – there he is again with his friends. He comes on over and sticks by your side all night. Awesome! He says he’ll call you and the two of you will go out next week.

Yet, he continues to text. What is this? He seems so attracted and into you. It’s like he’s magnetically pulled to you when he sees you. But, nothing further happens. What is this about?

This is a perfect example of the difference between flirting vs. true attraction.

See, he finds you attractive alright. And he sure does flirt with you. And two of you have a blast engaging like this. Too bad he doesn’t take that next step and it’s completely maddening!

Making Excuses For Him

That’s when you get into your head and start making excuses for him like:

  • He must be shy
  • He’s really busy at work
  • Did I not give him enough signals that I was interested?

Yes, women tend to make up reasons why a man who seemed so interested didn’t ask you out. In the absence of real information, we’re happy to make stuff up. Our reasons sound realistic and possible. Yet, we haven’t tapped the truth or gotten even close.

The truth is – he’s just flirting! And flirting is marvelous, playful fun.

How Do I Know He’s Just Flirting?

That’s EASY. Because he never followed through. When he saw you, he was happy to come close and flirt his butt off. He’s willing to text back and forth daily or disappear and come back to text some more. Either way, he’s NOT serious.

A man who is seriously interested and has true attraction WANTS to spend time with you. He wants to get to know you. That doesn’t happen via text. No way. Texting might be fun, but it’s a lazy way to communicate and is not the sign of a man who wants to date you. An interested man might text as a supplement to calls and dates, but it will never replace either one.

A man who flirts enjoys women. He might not want a relationship or he might already have one. That doesn’t prevent him from flirting because to him, it’s just fun. It DOESN’T MEAN ANYTHING. So, if he’s in a relationship, he doesn’t even feel guilty.

What Is Flirting For Guys?

I met a man like this once when I went dancing at a high-end bar with a girlfriend. He was an AMAZING man. Handsome, sweet and such a fun flirt. We had great banter and conversation. He took me out to see his expensive, fancy car. (Am I an idiot? Well, I learned a lot of things the hard way before I found my husband and became a love and dating coach.)

Nothing happened besides him bragging about his car and we went back inside. He was clearly trying to impress me. But, to what end? What was his game? I’ll tell you. When he went off to the men’s room, his friend called me over to the bar and told me, “He’s married. He’s just flirting with you and having fun. Seriously, I’m telling you the truth.”

Whoa. I was completely stunned and felt frozen in place. Having gotten all excited about this man as a real possibility, I got far ahead of myself in my mind.  Ever been guilty of premature future thinking like this? It’s a great way to actually break your own heart.

Flirting with Serious Intent

A man who has serious intent won’t flirt and disappear. He’ll want your number and he’ll call you in a few days. Then he’ll ask you out, so he can spend more time with you. He’s curious about you and wants to get to know you. He asks questions about you which demonstrates true interest.

The difference between flirting vs. true attraction is actually tremendous. When a man is genuinely interested he not only tries to impress you to win you over, but he tries to please you and make you smile. Your happiness matters. He wants to be in your company because he feels good when he’s with you. He consistently asks you out week after week and calls more often too.

A man who flirts can be a lot of fun. And there are flirty men who do want a real relationship. But you have to watch the men you date to see what they DO. His actions to see you and his ability to follow through demonstrate his interest level. This is how you KNOW he’s really into you.

Flirting vs. True Attraction

So, if you keep bumping into a guy who flirts like crazy and its totally fun, but he never asks you out, move on. If you meet a man online who just wants to send one flirty text after another, but never asks you out, move on. And if the guy you’re seeing only wants to see you once a week or less, is flirty but never calls in between to catch up or see how you are, move on.

These are all signs of a man who is flirting without intent. Don’t get taken in by his shenanigans. He might be fun, have a twinkle in his eye, flirt like the dickens, and act like he’s totally into you. But, if he doesn’t call to talk or ask you out at least once a week if not more, he’s just not serious.

Which means he’s not the right man for you if you are seeking lasting love with “The One.”

Men Do Not Suddenly Change

When weeks go by and the same thing happens over and over, he’s showing you exactly who he is. Another flirty man who doesn’t want a relationship. Which in turn means he doesn’t have the same agenda as you do –  a committed, loving relationship.

Let him go. Don’t settle for flaky and flirty when you can have the real thing. And, don’t give up. Break free and keep looking until you find the love you dream of. He’s out there and looking for you right now.

Want to know how to understand men, know when a man is wasting your time, and eliminate limiting beliefs that keep you single? Let’s talk! Schedule a complimentary session by phone or Skype outside the USA, to discover what coaching can do for you.


11 Signs He Doesn’t Want A Relationship & Is Toying With Your Emotions

Starting to think he doesn’t want a relationship with you? Here’s what you need to look for to figure out if he’s just playing with your heart.

he doesn't want a relationshipHe’s Not Serious About You

Understanding men can be so mind-boggling.  Situations often don’t make sense. You worry and fret, wondering if he wants a relationship with you or not and feeling confused is wearing you down.

The trouble is he does show some signs of actually liking you. So, how can you tell with these mixed signals? Your girlfriends say to give him a chance and that you are too picky.  Are they right?

If this is sounding all too familiar, then it’s time you learn the signs that he doesn’t want a relationship and he’s not serious about you either.

1.He’s Separated

A man who is separated is actually STILL MARRIED. I’m not talking about this from a moral point of view – just from the facts. That means no matter how long he’s been separated, he’s still connected to his wife in some way. She is NOT his ex!

A man who has not completed his divorce is not ready for a new committed relationship. He might be lonely and want the company, but if you help him do his healing to get over his wife, chances are outrageously high as soon as he’s feeling good again he’ll dump you for someone new. That’s just how things work.

2. He Told You He Doesn’t Want a Relationship

Plenty of men come right out and tell you up front they don’t want a relationship, but are happy to get to know you. He is specifically telling you he’s not ready.  When a guy tells you this BELIEVE HIM. He is not going to fall in love and change his mind. This kind of thinking only leads to heartbreak.

Other similar language includes he’s not looking for anything serious right now or he just got out of a relationship and needs space. Pay attention if a new man you meet says anything at all resembling these statements. He MEANS it, so if you want lasting love, walk away now. Don’t be like the majority of women who ignore this waving red flag.

3. He Looks at Other Women

This rude habit is surprisingly common. You’re out with your guy on a nice date and he’s looking around the restaurant rather than at you. When you are alone it seems like he only has eyes for you, but out in public, it sure is a different story.

You’ve talked to him about how much it bothers you. He said he’s trying, but usually it’s not long before he reverts back to this habit. You tell yourself it’s natural for men to look and as long as he keeps calling and asking you out, everything is OK. But is it? Not really. His roving eye tells you he’s not that into you, so bail now before he starts cheating.

4. He’s Full of Excuses and Cancels Often

He’s super busy at work, his child is sick, or his ex needs help. It’s always something with this guy and last-minute issues cause him to break your dates often. You’re patient and give him the benefit of the doubt because you REALLY like him.

Here’s the thing. Anyone can feel sick, have a tough boss or a crazy ex. But if there’s always SOME REASON why he can’t see you, that’s a sign he’s not serious or he’s not ready to commit to anyone. People can be overwhelmed by life making them unreliable. That’s how you know he’s not the right man. You deserve a man who is ready for love, can keep a date and has the bandwidth to spend quality time with you.

5. He Doesn’t Reveal Much About Himself

When something is going on with you, you talk about it. You’ve told him about your family and friends and maybe even a bit about work. Yet, how much do you know about the man your sleeping with? Does he share stories about his life?

If your man is not telling you about his friends, his job or his family, he doesn’t want a relationship. He’s not making you a part of his life and bringing you closer. After 5- weeks if you still don’t know much about him, this will not improve and it’s time to move on.

6. He Talks about His Ex All the Time

Even though his divorce is over or his big breakup was a while ago, he manages to talk about his ex constantly.  At first you were interested and wanted to offer emotional support. But now that weeks have gone by and he’s still complaining it’s getting rather annoying.

When a man talks about his ex often, whether the comments are positive or negative, it’s a surefire sign he’s not over her yet. So, every time he brings her up, it’s like she’s there on the date with you creating a threesome. You want a man all to yourself who focuses on getting to know you, which is why it’s time to let go and move on.

7. He Won’t Define Your Relationship

If he doesn’t refer to you as his girlfriend around others, that’s a red flag. Men who don’t want to use labels or define the relationship are definitely not serious about you. Forget about his fear of being hurt again or whatever he blames this resistance on, it’s a sign that your relationship isn’t going anywhere.

8. He Doesn’t Take You On Real Dates

You never go out on real dates in public, like to dinner, or listen to music or even the movies which is how you know something is not right. Some men bring over takeout food and want to snuggle on the couch and in the bedroom. They talk about how they’re tired and just want to be with you.

Maybe he says he’s keeping you all to himself and you’re his little secret. That’s a telltale sign that should make you very suspicious. He’s probably got another woman in his life and he can’t take a chance of being seen with you! Ask him to take you out and if he won’t, it’s time to walk away. You deserve a full-fledged relationship, not a secret lover.

9. He’s Running Hot and Cold

You never know with this guy – sometimes he’s totally into you and then he disappears for a while or seems uninterested. Like he could take it or leave it when it comes to seeing you. This kind of treatment wreaks havoc with your self-esteem.

Or maybe you have big fights that cause his hot and cold behavior. While you might enjoy the makeup sex and excitement, he’s showing you that life with him will always be a dramatic roller coaster. It’s possible you’ll never know where you stand. Sadly, this is not the sign of an emotionally mature man who knows what he wants or someone who is serious about you.

10. He Doesn’t Make Real Plans

His spontaneous ways were fun when you first met. But, after a couple of months, his inability to plan is getting old. He often leaves you HANGING making it hard for you to plan anything else. This causes you to miss other social opportunities and leaves you feeling like you are not that important.

If your man is doing this, the truth is his schedule matters most to him and he’s likely keeping his options open till the last minute. Now you know he doesn’t want a relationship, because this sure isn’t a way to build one. In addition, he’s demonstrating a level of selfishness that’s warning you about his ability to be a good partner.

11. He Lets You Do All the Work

Your guy is pretty much amenable to whatever YOU want to do. That sounds fantastic until you realize everything is up to you. You have to come up with the ideas, ask if he wants to go, figure out the details, make reservations and he’ll show up.

Perhaps having everything your way seems great initially, but then you start to realize this guy never initiates ANYTHING! Yup, he lets you do all the work to maintain this relationship and you are tired of it. Maybe you’ve tried talking to him and have said that you’re not planning another thing. Then, you give in because you really like him and want to see him.

Most importantly, when a man lets you initiate everything, he’s showing you he’s not invested in the relationship. He’s not trying to win you over – he’s passively going along for the ride. Doesn’t sound like a  recipe for lasting love to me.

Accept It – He Doesn’t Want a Relationship

All 11 of these signs let you know that your boyfriend is toying with your emotions, messing with your head or biding his time until another woman comes along. None of those situations are what you want or deserve.

You might be tempted to argue with these signals or think your situation is a little bit different, so they don’t apply. The truth is THEY DO APPLY. If you want lasting love, the best thing you can do for yourself is wake up to the fact that the man you’re seeing is NOT serious or into you. Even though that’s a painful realization, you might as well be honest with yourself.

The sooner you accept his inability to be the man you want, the sooner you can move on to find the right man for the epic, lasting love you’ve been dreaming about for so long. He’s out there, so free yourself up as soon as you can.

If you want more help with understanding men, download my free book His Mixed Signals Are So Confusing

If He’s Not Interested, Why Does He Contact Me? (And More!)

Seems like he’s not interested, so why does he stay in touch? Check out these reasons why a man contacts you even if he doesn’t want to see you.

Hes Not Interested In MeWhy Is He Still In Touch?

It’s so infuriating! If he’s not interested, why does he keep contacting you? He’s not asking you out so what gives? While it drives you crazy and seems to be a complete waste of your time, he must be getting something out of this right?

Let’s look at a man’s motivation and why he would keep calling, emailing or texting, even though he’s not interested. Below I’ll share five of the most likely reasons that keep him connected to you.

He’s Lonely

Men get lonely too. Even if he doesn’t want to date you, sometimes talking to you is just the soothing emotional balm he needs to feel better in that moment. When you answer his call or text, he feels connected to SOMEONE.  And for him, that’s a big relief and enough.

As far as he’s concerned, he doesn’t need to take it to the next level and actually SEE you. Nope, he’s content with a quick fix and staying in touch. This is one of those signs he’s not interested anymore or perhaps never really was.

He’s Ready for an Ego Boost

Sometimes when a man gets dumped, he reaches out to his ex to boost his ego. This is most likely true if he knows you are still into him.  Ahhh, what could feel better than getting in touch with a woman who is always happy and pleasantly surprised to hear from him?

A little time talking to you and he starts feeling better quickly.  Your warmth is like salve to his wound of being dumped and he knows he can rely on you to pump up his tarnished ego.

He’s Flirty

Some men (and women) just LOVE to flirt! And you are FUN to flirt with, so he stays in touch to get his flirty fix every so often. He might have a bevy of babes he flirts with because it’s one of the joys of his life. There’s nothing wrong with flirting, especially if you enjoy it.  Just don’t think it MEANS anything or that he has any intentions of wanting more from you.

He’s Needy

Certain men can be needy and the keep who keeps calling or texting is one of them. He needs attention, wants someone to complain to, or could use some advice.  You are always there when he needs you because you know how to be a great friend. Women have been known to pour their empathy out for a man like this thinking after providing all that emotional support, he will surely love you.

Sadly, this is NOT true. You are simply giving and giving to someone who is more than happy to take whatever you’ve got with nothing in return. He’s not interested except to take whatever you will give. There won’t be a return on this investment, so move on.

He’s Bored

Do you wonder is he texting me out of boredom? If that thought even crosses your mind, the answer is YES. Some people get through a day at work by texting. They say funny things and find ways to entertain themselves. So, while you may be enjoying all the humorous texting, it means nothing in terms of building a true, love relationship.

Here’s how to know if he’s not interested and just texting because he’s bored. He does NOTHING to see you or set up a date. Just because he’s texting constantly, doesn’t mean he sees himself in a relationship with you. He might think texting with you is fun and makes the day go by faster.

Sometimes this happens after a few dates with a guy and things dwindle to texting only. You might hang in there thinking at some point it will turn back around and you’ll start dating again. You wonder why is he still texting me if he’s not interested? Simply stated, he could be bored and you provide a break from his dull day.

What To Do If He’s Not That Into You?

Now that you are clear on five of the most frequent reasons why a man stays in touch, but doesn’t want a relationship, I’m sure you want to know what you CAN do about it.  Even though this is hard to swallow, there’s only one thing you can do. STOP texting or talking to him.

In fact, let’s take things a step further and BLOCK him. This is how you move on with your head held high and plenty of dignity.

You might hesitate, thinking if you could just talk to him, he’d see the light and things would return to how they once were. Or if you could discuss this openly, you could somehow convince him to date you. Too bad your instincts are working against you here.

Blocking him and moving on are the only steps you can take that will change the status quo. You’ll will not draw him in, but you will FREE yourself up to meet a new man! It’s time to cut him lose and stop wasting your time.


If you’re in touch with a man sending you mixed signals, get my Free book His Mixed Signals Are So Confusing: Find Out What He Really Means today!

Why Is He Still Online Dating If He Really Likes You?

Is your man still online dating? Why would he do that when he says he’s into you? Find out why in this post and what you need to know to handle the situation.

why is he still online datingThe Guy You’re Dating Still Checks Match

You met a great guy and things seem to be going well. Most weeks you seem him more than once and he stays in touch by texting and calling. You get along well and enjoy each other’s company. As you get to know him you learn more about what you like about this man.

But, here’s the thing that’s starting to bug you. He’s still going to the dating sites or apps.

This is such a confusing problem because you can tell he really likes you, so why is he still online dating? It sure is a disturbing question. Why would a man keep his profile active if he’s falling for you?

Here are six reasons why he’s still looking:

1.He Needs the Ego Boost

Some guys just can’t let go of the ego boost they get from connecting with women online. This is something only quantity can deliver. They like interacting even if they have no intention of dating the other women. This is self-serving date and shows a lack of emotional maturity which can be true for a man of any age.

If your man is still online dating and looking after two or three months, he’s not so subtly letting you know his ego comes before you.

2. You Aren’t “The One” For Him

He might think of you “place holder”. Both men and women are guilty of dating people who they enjoy spending time with even though you know they aren’t ideal. So, he might like you and enjoy your company even though he is still activily looking for a better match.

3. He’s Not Ready to Settle Down

If he recently divorced or just ended a relationship, chances are he’s not going to settle down right now. He wants and actually needs to play the field and enjoy some variety. Men at this stage don’t want any restrictions or a woman to have expectations of him.

They say things like, “I’m not looking for a relationship, but I”m happy to get to know you and see what happens.” Walk away from any man who says this if you seek lasting love.

4. He Doesn’t Want Monogamy

There are plenty of men who have no  intention of being monogamous. They like the player life and enjoy meeting lots of women and having their pick. Hey, that’s his prerogative, but you don’t have to date a man like this. If you even think he’s a long-term player, move on.

5. He’s Slow to Commit

There are men at any age who might be slower to commit. And until the point when he IS ready, he’s going to continue looking. He’s keeping his options open just in case he sees someone else who might be better. This is often referred to as “candy store mentality” where men think there is another woman just around the corner.

In fairness, men are often naturally slower to commit then women. That doesn’t mean your guy won’t come around. Decide for yourself how long you are willing to wait for exclusivity. You might want that right away or you might be OK with waiting for six weeks. Stick to your time frame and move on if he doesn’t come around or you’ll find yourself in love with a man who is still seeing other women.

6. You Don’t Have an Agreement

Never assume the man you’re dating isn’t seeing anyone else just because you aren’t. Exclusivity needs to be discussed and agreed to.

When to bring up exclusivity depends on the woman and your age. Over 40, there is no reason to hesitate on discussing this aspect of dating. He’s not some 20 something guy you’re going to scare off. If a man over 40 runs when you ask about exclusivity, good! He wasn’t going to commit anyway.

Some women won’t sleep with a man until they know they are exclusive and he’s not going to be dating any other women. If that’s the case, then you might not wait 3 months. When he suggests sex and he will, you can handle that in a couple of ways.

How to Get to Exclusivity

How you go about this is extremely important. Don’t make the mistake a lot of women make by attacking him or approaching this with harsh words. All men have delicate egos and you wouldn’t want to be spoken to harshly either. So, choose your words carefully. Here are three options.

Be Coy at First

If you say, “That does sound like fun, sometimes soon”, that’s a playful and captivating way to put him off. You’re letting him know you’ve thought about it, which he’ll find exciting. But, you are also saying you aren’t ready yet without speaking the words. This keeps the chase alive.

Ask for His Advice

You can tell him (in an “innocent” way) that men are still asking you out on the dating sites/apps and you aren’t sure what to say. If you try this, you have to be willing not to say another word until he speaks first. In negotiating (which s actually what you are doing) the person who speaks first loses the negotiation, so don’t utter a peep till he talks.

If he suggests you both take your profiles down at this point – great! If he is quiet for a long time or stumbles awkwardly, he is likely undecided. And if he asks what you want to do or tells you to do whatever you feel is best – he’s not interested in exclusivity with you.

In this case you need to stay true to yourself and your desire for monogamy. Should you decide to just for for it, you’ll have nothing left to negotiate with. Before you sleep with him is the time when you have the power and it can be nearly impossible to move towards an exclusive relationship with a man like this, even if you’ve fallen in love.

Establish Your Boundary

When things heat up and you’d like to sleep with him, that’s the time to speak directly about exclusivity. You are clarifying a boundary about intimacy for him. You can say, “I only sleep with a man once we are exclusive and pursuing a relationship to discover if we are a good long-term match.”

However, avoid saying this on the first few dates because clients have told me some men say yes to exclusivity so they can sleep with you, but then disappear any way. This conversation only works after four or five dates, so the man has already shown consistent interest in you.

Is He Still Online Dating?

Whatever you do, do not ignore this. If he’s still looking, he is NOT being loyal to you. This won’t somehow magically change over time. If you talk about monogamy and he continues to look online, be honest with yourself.

The right man for you will not only accept exclusivity, but will WANT you to be his one and only. And if the man you’re seeing doesn’t do this, admit he’s not the right man. He might have many qualities you like, but if monogamy isn’t one of them, he’ll never be loyal. Do NOT settle here or you are sure to end up broken-hearted.

Why Does He Come And Go From Your Life And What It Means

The question of why does he come and go from your life has driven many a woman to the brink of emotional exhaustion. Find out what this behavior is about.

why does he come and goWhy Does He Always Come Back?

Dear Love Coach Ronnie,

I’ve had a male best friend for 11 years that I’ve been in off and on relationship with. He’s always had feelings for me, and we would flirt constantly but still kept it on the friend level.

He broke up with his girl a year ago, came back to town and things heated up for one night. But, then he ended up back with her. I mentally distanced myself so I wouldn’t get hurt. He texts, flirts, vanishes and does a lot of future faking.

Currently, he’s mad at his girl and wants to move to live near me. He says we’ll have time to be together finally. All of his texts are aimed at hooking up and when I ask him if he’ll be coming to visit, he vanishes. He cannot commit to a darn thing except on his terms.

I don’t know if he’s worth it anymore. He’s come back around for years. Why does he come and go like that? I’ve called him out on things and he always comes back. Must be me? I’m tired of asking if he wants to hang out in person and him just ignoring me and ghosting.

Please Help,

Why Doe He Come and Go?

Dear Lilah,

If you want to know, “Why does he come and go like this?” the answer (said with compassion) is you LET HIM. Yes, you allow him back in after treating you poorly, ghosting, ignoring you and more. Doesn’t sound like a best friend to me. In fact, by tolerating his poor treatment of you, you have let him know that you’ll put up with anything he does.

What does this mean and why does he do this? Maybe he can’t be alone, so he runs to you when he’s not getting along with his current girlfriend. He knows you are always there waiting for him to show up again.

My bet is he needs a lot of attention which is why reaches out to bolster his ego. And he probably wouldn’t mind the booty call either. He’s the kind of guy who will take and take,  pushing a woman to the limit. And, he likely always has a woman waiting in the wings, just to be sure.

I doubt he’s purposefully trying to hurt you. He’s too self-absorbed to think about anyone but himself. His emotional IQ is low on the scale. Can you say, “Me, Me, Me?”

The Right Question

The problem is, none of this matters. As far as I’m concerned, asking why does he come and go is  absolutely the wrong question.

For you, what is far more important is to ask yourself why you put up with this? Why do you allow this kind of treatment? How come you let him back into your life? What makes you invite him when he never follows through on a visit? How can you say he’s a best friend?

Maybe you think he will change at some point. Many women hope a guy will come back and the relationship will return to how it was when things were good. Or you hope he’ll see the light and settle down with you?

Making a Healthy Decision

I don’t want to burst your bubble, but if you were the right woman for him (and better still if he was the right guy for you) things would have already worked out. It doesn’t take years to gel. Either it’s right, or it’s not.

Women often say to me, “It’s just not that simple.” Uhhh, yes, it is. You could stop wasting time and free yourself up for the right man if you recognize the truth in this statement. This is how you make a healthy decision for yourself based on using your mind and not just your emotionally-based heart.

If I were your Love Coach, I’d suggest you stop this on again/off again relationship if you really want lasting love with the right man. Or, if this game hadn’t already been going on for years, I’d recommend you ignore HIM and see what happens.

Sometimes a man will realize he’s lost his backup woman and reappears to win you over and choose you as “The One”. At this point, it’s too late for that to work because he’s been playing the game too long.

Why Does He Always Come Back?

When you type, “How can I get him back” into Google, you’ll get 2.3 million results! Tons of experts write about how to get your ex back. But what you need to consider is, why do you want him and will things be different?

A lot of woman hold romantic ideas that the relationship can resume as wonderfully as it was at it’s peak. I myself was guilty of thinking this. I spent 10 years thinking about my college boyfriend and how I could make him see what a mistake he made. That was a massive waste of my youth when it came to finding love.

How I Got Over My Ex

What turned things around for me? I went to my high school reunion and bumped into my ex’s current flame. (He didn’t go.) Pauline came bearing a message from Stephen, telling me he was sorry for how he treated me. I was floored. First, that he sent THAT message and second that she delivered it!

I decided I needed to speak with him. So, I wrote him a letter and asked him to have dinner. He agreed, but the caveat was Pauline would join us. Can you believe I went? (I used to learn my lessons the hard way – I don’t advise this at all.)

Stephen cooked dinner for us. We chatted about this and that as I schemed how to get him alone to say what I’d been thinking for 10 years. But as the night went on, I came to this amazing epiphany – there was NOTHING to say!

We had moved on and I saw that our love would never have lasted. We had gone in separate directions and weren’t a good match at all! Finally, I was free and didn’t feel anything for him any more. It was all in the past where it belonged.

It’s Time to Move On

So, Lilah, the reason this man does come and go is not because somehow you’re not good enough. It’s more because you let him do it. Stop communicating if you’re tired of asking him to visit or his ghosting. Block him and do not look back!

If you’re ready for the real thing, let go of the fantasy.

Make a healthy choice for your future love life. Let him go and move on. You deserve a man who wants you more than any other woman. A man who chooses to be with you and wants a lasting, loving, supportive and healthy relationship.

Wishing you love,

why does he come and go


13 Shocking Signs He Just Wants Sex And How To Catch On Fast

Learn the 13 shocking signs he just wants sex, so you know what to watch for to side step men like this. It’s obvious once you know what to look for.

 signs he just wants sexWhat If He Only Wants to Sleep with You?

“Dear Ronnie,

Are there signs he just wants sex? Why do men lie? If they are not into you for more than just a date, why lie and tell you they like you or act as if they like you.

Why do they discuss future vacations together and talk about going out, then Ghost after they’ve been dating you for 2 months. Is it that hard to act normal?

If he is not interested in more than just sex, why doesn’t he act so? Do guys never think about being honest? Do we as women literally have to ask them, “OK, are you really interested in me?”

Please help me understand because I am often heartbroken and left feeling so sad and very confused.

Nath from Chicago”

Understanding Men And Their Games

Dear Nath,

You asked good questions and I am going to answer each one, so you understand what is going on with men. I know this can be emotionally crushing, but there is a way to recognize a player faster. Once you know, then you can avoid these predators with ease.

When you are a straightforward woman looking for love, you want to trust and believe men. Yet, one disappointment and heartbreak after another makes it harder and harder. I understand how you feel and I went through this myself when I was dating and looking for love before meeting the man who became my husband.

Having met plenty of these types, I LEARNED how to catch on quickly and that made all the difference. I stopped wasting time on a man who showed signs he just wants sex and moved on to meet other men who was more potential.

Why Do Men Lie And Act Interested?

First, keep in mind not all men lie or pretend to be interested. Let’s think about this from a man’s perspective to better understand what’s really going on. If a man just wants sex and told you that, would you go for it? No, of course not! Men know most women don’t want to jump into bed – they prefer to get to know a guy a first.

So, that’s why some men lie. They do this to get their needs met the only way they know how. The same thing applies for talking about the future and vacations, etc. This kind of conversation is designed to make him look like he’s got long-term intentions about you, so you trust him and then…sleep with him.

Why Do Men Ghost?

Most men hate emotional scenes and will do whatever is necessary to avoid a big blow up. That’s why they stop contacting you (aka ghost) rather than breakup directly. Nothing new – this has been going on forever. A lot of guys don’t want to cause you pain face-to-face, but know they have to move on, so they drop out of sight.

Some experts say men are cowardly to avoid confrontation. Another way to look at this is they have a different threshold for emotions vs. women. That’s why most men rather shut down a difficult conversation or walk away, rather than talk it through. It’s often too much for a man. And that’s one way to know you found a good man when he’s willing to discuss things calmly.

Why Can’t You Ask Him Directly?

Last but not least, you CANNOT ask a man directly if he likes you. Why not? Because how will you know if he’s telling the truth? It’s a pointless effort. Again, this is confrontational and not the way to engage with men.

The Real Problem

Here’s the real problem – these are NOT THE RIGHT QUESTIONS! While you want to know if a man is lying and the signs he just wants sex, that’s not the best way to make decisions.

Instead, focus on discovering if he QUALIFIES to be your man. Does he pursue you consistently, requesting weekly dates, calling between dates and texting? Is he interested to get to know you or does he only talk about himself? Does he try to please you and find out what you like?

These are signs of a man who has a genuine interest and potential for a loving relationship. When a man asks you out consistently, shows that he cares, does nice things for you, stays in touch and becomes someone you can’t count on – that’s how you know he is worthy of your love.

How To Spot A Man Who Just Wants Sex

Here are the 13 signs he just wants sex:

  1. He talks about your looks from the moment you meet.
  2. He brings up sex within the first couple of dates.
  3. He’s a super flirt, very charming and seems like a player.
  4. He wants to sext and asks for pictures.
  5. He only communicates (text, email, phone) when he’s wants a booty call.
  6. He says he’s not looking for a relationship but will get to know you.
  7. You don’t go out on dates and have sex every time you see him.
  8. He’s got excuses for why he can’t spend time with your friends.
  9. He never spends the night.
  10. He’s angry if you don’t hop in the sack.
  11. He’s not much for foreplay.
  12. You don’t know much about him and your conversations are superficial
  13. You haven’t met his friends.

These Are The Signs He Just Wants Sex

If you see more than one of these signs, accept the fact this guy is most likely only into you for the sex. And now that you know the13 signs, be smart and heed this warning.

There’s nothing wrong with casual sex if you protect yourself and agree to participate. It can be a fun, you might learn something new and it’s a great stress reliever. But keep your eyes open and be smart.

On the other hand, if you are looking for something more serious and lasting, hold off on sex until you  see if he qualifies as a romantic partner and meets your standards. This is how you value yourself and don’t get sucked into casual relationships, dreaming of something more.

If you want more help with learning how to understand men, why not schedule a session with me? There’s no charge for this 45-minute call where we will work to figure out what’s getting in the way of finding love with the right man and if coaching is for you. Book your session now!

Dating A Widower? He’s Ready As Long As You See These 7 Signs

If you’re dating a widower, you may question if he’s ready for a relationship. Thankfully, you have nothing to worry about as long as you see these seven signs.

Dating a widowerDating a Widower Who Is Not Ready

While you may have some trepidation about dating a widower, there’s one really good thing about them as potential mates. If the man you’re dating had a good marriage, he’ll probably want to marry again. Most widowers seek love again more quickly than widows, usually after one year vs. as long as five years on average for women.

On the other hand, there are a number of serious concerns. That’s why you want to know if he’s ready for a new relationship or just filling time and feeling lonely. The last thing you want to do is “help” him get over his deceased wife. This is misguided because what you are really doing is ignoring the obvious fact that he’s not ready for the real thing with you. All your good intentions will simply lead to heartbreak if that’s the case.

Don’t make excuses for the widower you’re dating. If he exhibits signs that he’s not ready, and you are serious about finding lasting love, then you are barking up the wrong tree as the saying goes. Don’t do this to yourself!

You are better off leaving and starting over with a new man who is ready.  Nothing is worse than hanging in there waiting for some guy to get over his wife, thinking “if only he could focus on how good we are together.” If he could, he would.

7 Good Signs When Dating a Widower

What are the signs to watch for? If you are enjoying a widower’s company and see these seven signs, he’s probably ready for the lasting love you want.

1.It’s Been a Year – Most widowers will start getting back out there to date and hopefully find a new partner after about a year. This is the average period of grieving for most men. And statistically, these men are the most likely to marry again. Yay!

If it’s only been a few months, it doesn’t matter what a great guy he is – he’s NOT READY! Stay clear if you don’t want to be disappointed.

2. His Actions and Words Match – When the guy you’re dating says something and then follows through, this is always a good sign. But it’s even more meaningful when you’re a dating a widower. This shows he’s ready for a relationship because a man’s actions are what matter most.

This is actually true for any man you date of course. You want someone who you can count on and whose word is like gold. When you encounter a man who walks his talk, you are probably dating a man who has integrity. Some men talk a good game, but if they can’t deliver on that what’s the point? If he can’t follow through, walk away.

3. He Doesn’t Talk About Her Constantly – A widower who is not ready constantly talks about his wife. Everything brings up a memory of something special about her or an aspect he misses. You cannot win against a fond memory so don’t even try. He’s simply not ready to date you or any woman seriously.

If he brings her up once in a while and doesn’t wax on for too long, that is something to be expected and hopefully isn’t hard to tolerate. Should you be offended, then he’s probably not the right man for you. If he was happily married for many years, he’s going to talk about her to some degree.

More Good Signs

4. Only a Few Photos – It’s understandable that after many years of marriage with a woman he loved, his deceased wife will be in photos. A few here or there makes sense and is expected. However, if he’s got her picture by his bedside and all over the house, this is NOT a good sign. He’s still deep in grieving and not ready for a relationship with you.

Don’t ignore this, thinking you can talk him into putting those photos away. They are a statement about where he is in his healing process which cannot be hurried, no matter how well you get along or how much he seems to like you.

5. He Pursues You Consistently – As with any man, you want to be consistently pursued. This means he calls you weekly, takes you on a date at least once a week if not more, and texts in between (if he’s a texter). This is how you know any man is genuinely interested in you.

This is particularly important when dating a widower, because it would be easy to see you sporadically just to have some female company and not be alone. But if he sees you once a week to start and then picks up your time together, this can be a good sign for sure. Keep in mind, consistency builds a relationship. So, if his contact or dates are not very regular, he’s probably more casual then you think.

Dating a Widower Over 50

6. Doesn’t Fear His Family – When you are dating a widower of any age really, if he’s extremely concerned about not upsetting his family with you, he’s not ready to date. You want to be with a man who is confident in himself, his actions and his choices. A man who fears what his family will think about you or his dating, is not standing on his own two feet.

Don’t think that everything will be alright once they see how great you are together. Trust me, that is not what they will think. In a case like this, the family, including children, parents or in-laws, is concerned with preserving the status quo and the loving memory of his wife. There’s no winning if there’s any competition with her ghost – you WILL lose.

7. Introduces You to Friends and Family – Another great sign of a man’s genuine interest and readiness is when he starts introducing you to the people who matter most in his life. Once you start meeting friends, and family members in particular, then you know you are on a good track.

Understand that the children, especially if they are young, may take longer. And this makes perfect sense in the case of dating a widower or a man who is divorced. Most men (an women) want to know you are likely to be part of their life long-term before you meet the kids.

Warning Signs Dating a Widower

To sum up the warning signs, if it’s been less than a year since his wife passed, he shares his ideas about your future together, but doesn’t follow through, he might not be ready. If he talks about his wife constantly, has tons of photos, is inconsistent with his attention, think twice about dating him.

And, if he expresses concern about what his family might say, or doesn’t introduce you to anyone, keep in mind these are serious warning signs, letting you know dating this man who is a widower is probably not the best idea. Only he can decide when he’s healed and ready for a serious, lasting relationship with a new woman.

Don’t spend your time helping him recover. This is a thankless job for as soon as a man is feeling better, he most often walks away and finds another woman to commit to. When a man is not at his best, he can’t really give you what you want. And after he recovers, you remind him of a time when he was weak. So, he moves on. You will not win as nursing him back to emotional health.

The Good News About Widowers

Now, the good news is that a widower most often wants to be married again. He’s not phobic about commitment and likes having a woman in his life. So, if you are dating a widower who is showing all the good signs outlined in this post – excellent!

Enjoy this time with your new man and take things slowly to be sure you are both making good choices. There’s no need to rush, so taking your time allows you to savor every joyous moment.

If you want more dating advice tailored to you and your circumstances, let’s chat! Schedule a free session with me and fill out the short application to discover if coaching is right for you.


Does He Like Me? 14 Clues That Show He’s Definitely Into You

Does he like me? How can you tell if the new guy you are seeing is really into you and serious about building a relationship or just going along for the ride? Watch for these 14 clues to know if he’s into you.

Does he like meDoes He Like Me – How Can I Tell?

Finally you are dating a guy you really like and it seems he likes you too. But how do you know for sure? There are definitely signs to watch for once you know what matters most about a new guy and how he treats you.

So many women get terribly confused, frustrated and anxious trying to figure this out. They ask girlfriends, family, guy friends, search the web seeking answers to the emotionally driven question “Does he like me?” That’s why I want to break this down for you into simple, easily understandable pieces so you know where you stand.

This information is strictly for the start of dating which means the first 6-8 weeks. If you’ve been with each other for several months, then the criteria and clues change. So this pertains to the start of dating and a budding relationship.

1) He Asks You Out On Real Dates

The man you are seeing asks to see you and takes you on REAL dates. What is a real date? When you go out to do something like dinner, movie, going for a walk and then drinks, going to a museum, seeing live music, etc. A real date is time spent out in public where he pays for you.

Free dates like a walk, hiking or kayaking, biking, kite-flying etc., are OK for some of the dates. But if all your dates are free, think twice. If he’s not willing to invest even a small amount of money to entertain you, then he has no money, is super cheap or has money issues.

If you go to your house or his and watch a movie or talk, that’s not a real date, particularly for the first four weeks. Stay out of the house for safety and to reduce the temptation of sleeping with him before you know he has real merit.

2) You See Him at Least Once a Week

It’s OK if things start out slowly and you only see him once a week for a few weeks. But by week four or five, things should pick up if he’s into you. When you are seeing a man who is super busy and he doesn’t have time because he’s traveling or has his kids, etc., that let’s you know he’s NOT ready or doesn’t have time for a real relationship.

Don’t except his excuses. Men show you who they really are through their actions. If he talks about wanting to see you, but doesn’t make time weekly, he’s not the right man. Yes, it really is this simple if you date with your head and not just your heart. This is how you avoid getting attached to a man you won’t be happy with.

3) He Calls At Least Once A Week

Texting is not a way to get to know someone. It’s fun, entertaining and you can learn about each other this way, but to really get to know a person, you need to talk on the phone (or see each other in person). There is no substitute for conversation when it comes to finding out what you need to know to properly vet a man.

You want to hear his voice – how long he pauses before answering a question, his tone of voice, when and why he laughs and so much more. Texting offers only one dimension, where actual conversation is multi-dimensional and rich with clues about who a man is.

4) He Is Consistent

When asking, “Does he like me?”, the real answer is seen over time. You are looking for consistency which is a sign of his true interest.

A lot of men will SAY they are seriously interested, but then disappear for days or longer, talk about plans and the future, but never ask to see you. I call this “Blah, blah, blah” which means he’s all talk (or text) and it means nothing.

Watch what he DOES – that tells you everything you need to know about if he likes you. His consistent efforts to get to know you mean a lot.

5) He Keeps His Promises

A quality man showing genuine interest keeps his word to you. Anyone might need to cancel here or there but if he cancels often or needs to reschedule, that’s a big warning sign that other things are far more important than you! it could also mean he has issues telling the truth or following through and neither one is good.

6) He Pays For Half Your Dates Or More

I’m old fashioned and think chivalry is not dead. For the most part let the man pay for at least the first few dates. After the second or third date, you can offer to pay. Then you can take turns if that feels right.

If you start paying for the majority of dates, that’s a bad sign. This indicates he may have a chip on his shoulder about women and money, is cheap, has some kind of money issue, or isn’t that interested in you.

If you’re asking, “Does he like me?” and the guy you’re seeing never takes out his wallet – the answer is NO.

7) He Asks About Your Life

Want to know if he’s serious? One way is if he asks about your life and shows interest in what you are doing, working on or hoping for. This is what a quality man does – he wants to be a part of your life, not just seeing you as an extension of his life.

When a man only talks about himself and doesn’t ask many questions after the first couple of dates, that’s a red flag he might be self-absorbed or narcissistic. If this is happening, I can see why you want to know, “Does he like me?”

8) He Shares About His Life

Sometimes men share personal details very quickly and women tend to think he must really like them as a result. However, if he’s pouring his heart out on the first phone call or date – that can be a seduction technique OR a sign he’s super needy. Again, neither is good.

However, as he gets to know you, if he starts sharing what happened at work or with a friend and what is going on in his life, that’s a very good sign. He’s bringing you into this world. If he calls because he’s excited about something and wants to share it with you – awesome!

9) He Asks For Your Opinion

When a man you’re seeing asks what you think about something going on in his life, whether it’s buying a car or a situation at work, that’s a good sign too. He respects you enough to value your insights. This is significant – wahoo!

10) Introduces You To Friends & Family

When a man slowly introduces you around to key friends and family, that’s a sign he’s getting comfortable enough with you to include you in his life. However, be aware sometimes a man thinks you’re really hot and takes you to meet his buddies to show off. You’ll need to combine this clue with others just to be sure.

11) Treats You With Kindness and Respect

Anyone can have a bad day, but as long as most of the time your man treats you with respect, that’s what you are looking for. If he’s kind, is interested in what you like and what makes you happy, that’s what counts!

12) Accepts You For Who You Are

The right man doesn’t try to control you or change you and accepts you for exactly who you are. He doesn’t criticize your clothing, what you eat or your beliefs even if he doesn’t agree with everything – who does? You know you’ve got a keeper when he thinks your quirks are cute.

13) Works Through An Issue

Even at the beginning of a budding romance, something might come up that needs to be discussed and worked through. This guy is willing to talk about it to make sure he understands your point of view and then wants to work out a solution.

On the other hand, if you get into a scrap and he walks away, starts yelling, blames you for the problem, or becomes unpleasant in any way, these are glaring red flags. For lasting love, you need to be able to communicate calmly and work through issues.

14) He Compliments You

Let’s not forget basic compliments like he saying something nice about your hair or dress. Or saying how much fun he has with you, what a beautiful smile you have or how much he likes spending time with you.

This one needs to be combined with a few others to have real meaning, but hey- it’s always nice to get compliments!

Now You Know The Signs

You might not see all 14 clues that let you know he likes you all at once. Several take time to emerge. However, if you are looking for lasting love and a healthy relationship, you’ll want to see all of these to know you’ve found a good man who is surely a keeper.

Don’t make excuses for your guy. If you are often wondering, “Does he like me?” he’s probably not the right man. A good man doesn’t leave you hanging. If he’s not always kind, never compliments you or doesn’t want to talk things through, your relationship will be problematic.

Building a good relationship can be hard enough when everything is good, so do not overlook these qualities if you want to be with a man who will make a good life partner.

Love and Dating Coach Ronnie Ann Ryan’s New Program Concentrates on Building Self-Love to Help Women Attract a Romantic Life Partner

By: Hayley Matthews | August 28, 2018 via

When you’re on the playground at school, dating is easy. You pass a note, whisper a secret, and — bam — you’ve got a boyfriend. However, the older you get, the harder it is to find that crush-worthy guy and tell him how you feel. Many midlife women struggle in the modern dating scene because they no longer have the heart or the confidence to put themselves out there.

Midlife dating has its fair share of challenges. You could be dating as a single parent, a divorcee, a widow, or just someone who’s never found love. All these complications can make daters feel hesitant to be themselves and risk getting hurt.

Over time, middle-aged singles may develop self-esteem issues and put up with bad partners and unhealthy relationships because they feel desperate or afraid.

Midlife dating coach Ronnie Ann Ryan told us that she has seen many of her clients rush into a relationship and get attached to someone they barely know. She said the best advice she can give clients in those situations is to take things slow and make sure the person they’re dating is worthy of them.

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7 Ways To Show A Man Your Feminine Side And Capture His Attention

Your feminine side is the only way to capture a masculine man’s eye. Most single women say they want a masculine guy. Sought after characteristics include decisive, successful, confident, financially stable earning a good living, and comfortable in his own skin. Sounds pretty good right?

Looking for a Masculine Man?

When I say most single women, I mean women from all walks of life. Whether you have a highly successful career in business or teach fifth grade. From the city to the country, the vast majority of women I talk with describe their ideal man in this way.

However, for many successful single gals, there’s a bit of a hurdle here. It might not be what you think either. See a masculine man wants a feminine woman. A woman who heightens his sense of being a man by displaying her softer side.

Before you get your panties in a bunch, I’m not suggesting that you dumb yourself down, be a doormat, or act like a sex object. You should always be yourself.  Your feminine self.

What Does Your Feminine Side Look Like?

When you have a fabulous career, you are most likely relying on your masculine nature. We all have a degree of both genders within us. Work most often requires building masculine skills to make things happen in the world.

Your feminine energy is very different. It’s about creativity (including creating new life) and playfulness. In addition, your womanly way involves feelings, intuition and gut instinct. That’s why it’s called the “softer side”. Feminine energy is fluid, mysterious, and alluring.

This is extremely appealing to a masculine man. The more in touch you are with your feminine side, the more it sparks his masculine side. Men long for the warm, and charm of a woman which is why experts always tell you to keep a little mystery about yourself to draw him closer and make him want to know MORE.

How to Enhance Your Feminine Side

I’m going to share seven ways to enhance your feminine side and share that with a man. This can work to make you even more attractive and at times, practically irresistible. No worries, these are all easy tips that any woman can put to work and rely on.

1. Listen Up. In conversation with a new man, you might be thinking about what you want to say next. But becoming a good listener is more important. When a man feels heard, it feels just as good as it does for you. To show genuine interest, lean in a bit when he talks. This body language tip works as well for dating as for the interview process.

2. Pamper Yourself. When you honor yourself, you take good care of yourself. That means you get a massage, take scented baths or enjoy a Reiki treatment at the spa. These are sensual experiences – which heighten your feminine energy. Taking time for self-care shows confidence and worthiness – both highly appealing traits in a woman.

3. Enjoy Nature. Nature abounds with feminine energy – just think of Mother Nature! When you take a walk on a wooded path or spend time at the beach, you are not just relaxing or exercising, but communing with nature. This is such a simple way to connect with your feminine side and enjoy the world around you.

More Tips for Your Feminine Energy

4. Dance. The energy of dancing is highly feminine, especially if you wear a skirt that twirls. But even if you don’t, getting out on the dance floor with a man definitely puts you in touch with your femininity. Add a couple of sensual moves like hips swaying or reaching your arms up in the air, and you have him captivated.

5. Appreciate Beauty. When you can slow things down enough to take a few minutes and simply enjoy the beauty around you, that’s moving into your feminine energy. Smell the roses as they say. Again, this is a sensual exercise using your senses which always heightens your femininity. While you’re at it, appreciate your own beauty too!

6. Flirt! The most powerful flirting starts with body language. You send signals all day long whether you know it or not. Body language tells it all. But you can also easily “fake it till you make it”. These signals are part of the human lexicon and are recognized by men worldwide without saying a word. At the very least, when you catch a man’s eye, be sure to smile and hold eye contact for 2-3 seconds before turning away.

7. Be Coy. When a man asks a personal question, you don’t want to answer, don’t get mad or flustered, be coy! That’s the best way to intrigue him and move him to a new subject. For example, if he asks why you’re still single, give him your coy smile and say, “Well most men aren’t like you.” He’ll eat it up!

Be Soft, Warm & Inviting

The more you share your feminine side and allow yourself to be soft warm and inviting, the more second dates you’ll get. Remember, feminine power is the power of allure. Like Helen of Troy from ancient Greece, whose beauty launched a thousand ships as her man went to war to get her back from kidnappers – you’ve got that power too. Use it or lose it!

Some women complain to me that they don’t want to do this flirty stuff. I say, “Really, you don’t want a man to find you mysterious, intriguing and want more? That would be so unpleasant.”

If you want to find love with a masculine man, then honey, you have to let HIM be the MAN. You can’t use your surefire aggressive business skills in romance – that KILLS any chance of romance. Don’t try to get the ball rolling by asking him out (more than once anyway). Avoid texting to keep him interested – these tactics do not work!

Make Him Want You

What does work practically every time – especially with the right man? Your feminine charm. Make him want you and melt his heart. The only way to connect at the heart level is through the heart. And your heart is your feminine side so learn to leverage your innate abilities to find the love you deserve.

Want more tips on flirting and tapping your feminine charm? Check out my program Flirt School! Don’t miss the bus on this part of dating. Gain access now to your feminine side!

Dating a Separated Man: How Long Should You Be Patient?

Dating a separated man can be a challenge. You’ll need to be patient for plenty of reasons, but for how long? Read on to find out what you need to know.

Can Dating a Separated Man Work?

The best answer I can give on dating a separated man is that  – it depends. There are so many variables and I can only cover so many, but I will do my best to touch on the main points.

His Personality

First, it depends on the man’s personality. How much can he handle living in the flux of still being legally married, but not in a romantic relationship. For some men this is a huge burden and they need time to heal. That usually cannot happen until the divorce is over. So, if the guy you’re dating is still separated, you’ve got a LONG HAUL before you.

His Ex Wife

Another contributing factor depends on his ex – is she a high-drama type or civil and reasonable. If he claims she’s crazy, you are sure to suffer being in a relationship with him. It doesn’t matter if this seems fair or not, when the ex is difficult, everyone is affected.

His Children

Some men have no trouble seeing their kids and having a life for themselves. Others feel tremendously guilty and as a result must spend every waking moment with their children when they have them. What that means for you is you’ll always be a second-class citizen and never come first. This will show up in many hurtful ways and never get better so beware if this is your situation.

You might only see him on his off weekend or may be not even that will be guaranteed. You can forget about anything regular if he works weekends, is passionate about his hobbies, or his wife offers more time with his kids than their agreement stipulates.

Dating a Separated Man – Is He Ready?

Regardless of what he SAYS, most men who are separated are not ready for a new serious relationship. If you’re OK with casual, which means you’ll see each other whenever and not every weekend, then it might work. Not all women want a consistent, close relationship fearing their independence will be at risk. This can be perfect if you are not looking for a commitment.

However, if you want a committed relationship, weekend companionship, consistent weekly dates, you are out of luck when dating a separated man. He will have too many things taking up his time to offer what you want or meet your needs.

In addition, emotionally a separated man can’t handle much pressure. They tend to be sporadic in their dating efforts. Romance is usually not a top priority even though they welcome female company and of course sex.

How to Know If He’s Not Ready?

Once you know what to look for if dating a separated man, it’s easy to spot a guy who is definitely NOT ready for the kind of love you want. He might say variations for the following, so listen closely when you first meet a new guy:

“I’m not looking for anything serious, but I’m happy to get to know you and see where things go.”

“I need space, but we can get to know each other and see what happens.”

“I just got out of a relationship, but let’s get to know each other and see how things go.”

Turns out men who say this are being HONEST with you. Right up front they are telling you they don’t want a relationship, commitment or anything serious. They want something lose and commitment-free with no expectations.

If you can handle that, great! But, if deep down, you are hoping he’ll see how great things can be with you and change his mind, you are looking at disappointment and possible heartbreak.

Dating a Separated Man with Baggage

The truth is, dating a man who is still married will always be a problem. They have all kinds of baggage and no matter how great a guy he is, you can’t separate him from this baggage. Only HE can do this.

Until he’s ready to move on and make you a priority, he’ll be full of excuses. Maybe he feels too guilty to go through with the divorce, even though he promised and he’s close. Or he might want his freedom to do whatever he wants, whenever he wants including helping a friend, dating other women or watching football all weekend.

This can be a highly selfish time for a separated man and in truth he NEEDS this time for himself. No matter how much you like him or how much he claims to like you – he’s got family and emotional baggage you’ll have to put up with. And that will not be fun. Love is not enough to have a healthy relationship no matter how long you are willing to wait.

Dating a Separated Man Who Lives With His Wife

What could be worse than dating a separated man who is still at home living with his wife? Sometimes he feels too guilty to leave, he feels like she needs him, or he can’t afford to sell the house and move out. What a mess! How can this situation bring you anything but heartache?

I’ve heard crazy stories about men who agree to still go to family events with their wives or show a good front for business, regardless of being in a new relationship.

How Long Should You Be Patient Dating a Separated Man?

So, how long should you be patient with a separated man? Depends on how much of your life are you willing to put on hold or waste waiting for him? If his divorce is just a couple of months away from completion, well that might be worth it. However, if he…

  • Hasn’t even started proceedings why wait for what could take years?
  • Doesn’t keep his promises and often disappoints you, that will not suddenly improve
  • Was super nice for a while, but that’s all changed, it won’t revert back to how things were
  • Doesn’t have time for the relationship you want, that’s who he is, and it won’t change
  • Has a million excuses why he can’t see you, things won’t get better in the future
  • Loves you and you love him, but this doesn’t make you happy, it won’t change!

The Bottom Line

Can dating a separated man work out? Sure, on super rare occasions a man will finish his divorce, feel ready for a relationship and commit to you for the kind of romantic partnership you want.

However, playing the lottery makes more sense since the odds of winning are better. Please don’t think YOU will be the EXCEPTION. I know so many women who wasted the best years of their life dating a separated man who promised to get divorced.

Your separated guy is NOT the only one for you no matter how it seems. And if you are just starting to date, please exclude separated men from your list of potential partners. Eliminate the drama and pain. Why even get started when you know this situation is 99.9% sure to be a tear-jerker?

Stop being patient and understanding and instead, go after what you want! Move on from men who can’t love you the way you want and find a new man who is ready for the healthy relationship you dream of and deserve.

Curious about other big dating mistakes that can ruin your chances for love? Get my free book 7 Dire Dating Mistakes

5 Signs He Likes You After The First Date

Looking for signs he likes you after the first date? Here are five things to watch for to know if you can expect to see him again.

5 signs he likes you after the first dateHow to Tell If a First Date Went Well

Finally, you’re on a date with a man you like! Even better, you get the distinct feeling he likes you too. But, how can you know for sure? What are the signs he likes you after the first date?

There are plenty of people who offer dating advice on this subject. I have seen a lot that in this expert’s opinion, does not hold water. The most common things are the ones that might just fool you. And that could be what your date had in mind to get you into the sack quickly.

Don’t Be Fooled By Sweet Talk

There are a few telltale signs that a guy is into you. However, there are others that sound good, yet don’t really mean much. For example, if he says he hasn’t met a woman like you in a long time, no question that’s a nice compliment. But, it could have absolutely no meaning beyond flattery.

Don’t be fooled if your date says, “I’ll call you” at the end of the night. Many men feel compelled to say this because they don’t know another way to end the date. Confusing as this might be, don’t put stock in this phrase since it’s actually most often a sign that he WON’T call.

Another comment that gives you a false sense of security that a man is into you, is if he talks about future plans. Future fantasizing can be fun for a man who is a romantic at heart. The proof is in the pudding though – men who wax on about all the things you could do together rarely follow through.

Seduction vs. Genuine Interest

Some men skilled in the art of seduction will share a good deal of personal information, hoping you’ll feel safe with him as a result. Women often tell me how a date revealed intimate details about his life and they thought this was a good sign. Why would a man do this if he didn’t feel really comfortable?

It’s an old trick and often works too. A man will draw you in with his story to gain sympathy and hope you’ll let down your guard. Then he can swoop in, so he can get you into bed that night. Many women throw caution to the wind with a man like this as they get swept off their feet. Don’t be fooled by this technique.

Signs He Likes You After The First Date

So, what are the things to watch for so know you’ll see him again? Here are the five that I trust as positive indicators he wants more of you.

1. Calls the Next Day to Say He Had a Good Time

If your date picks up the phone to tell you he had a good time, this is a strong signal you will see him again. Texting is easy and lazy. He could text you and then 10 more women. But, he’s not likely to CALL 10 women. Not at all.

So, if he calls and chats with you the day after your first date, you may have him on the hook girlfriend.

2. Strong Eye Contact

If your date gazes into your eyes for a good part of your time together, he may be signaling serious interest. Consistent eye contact shows his comfort with you and a desire to know more. Sometimes this might border on staring, so don’t be too surprised, but it’s not a bad thing. (Unless he’s staring at body parts and not into your eyes.)

And if you happen to notice that his pupils are dilated, it can be a biological response pointing to deep attraction (or it’s too dark in the room – haha!)

3. He Leans Towards You

When a man is genuinely interested n what you have to say, he LEANS IN to be sure he can hear you. This is typical body language that has been proved through tons of social research and you can bank on it.

When a person is fully engaged in the conversation, they want to get closer. Bingo – another of the signs he likes you after the first date.

4. Laughs a Lot

If you are truly building rapport, he’ll laugh easily and smile a lot. This might seem like a no brainer, but you’d be surprised. Sometimes your date will smile some of the time but look off into space, around the room or down at the table if he’s not that comfortable.

When you’re engaged in a conversation and things are going well, there will be a good dose of laughter and a smile on his face for the majority of the time.

5. Asks for Another Date

Yup, one of the surefire signs he likes you after the first date is that he asks for a second date while he’s still with you! He might say he wants to see you again or my personal favorite, asks when you are free.

My husband asked me at the end of our first date if he could see me again when he walked me to my car. Of course I said, “Yes!” He gave me a quick kiss and started to walk away to his car across the parking lot.

Then much to my surprise and delight, he turned back and ask, “Well when are you available?” It still makes my heart go pitter-patter.

This is the strongest of the signs he likes you after the first date. Nothing like knowing you’ve got a second date lined up to feel like you are on your way to getting to know him.

Your Next Move

Now that you know the five signs he likes you after the first date, what should you do next? Absolutely NOTHING! That’s right. Leave the ball in his court and follow his lead. Let him call you and suggest a date.

Don’t feel tempted based on your good rapport to check in, reach out, text about your day or call him. Let him do all that which is the only way you’ll ever know if his interest is building or has dissipated.

When you let a man lead during the initial dating phase, you don’t risk crowding him, pushing him beyond his comfort zone, invading his privacy, rushing him and most importantly turning him off. Read this post for more about letting the man lead.


If you want more insights into understanding men and dating, get my Free book 7 Dire Dating Mistakes That Ruin Your Chances for Love

Why Doesn’t He Like You Back? 11 Reasons You’re Not a Match

Asking yourself why doesn’t he like you back? If it’s been a while since you last dated, you might not realize the 11 reasons why you simply aren’t a good match. Read on to find out what is preventing him from liking you and why you need to move on.

why doesn't he like you backDoes He Like Me?

When you start seeing someone new, waiting to find out if he likes you back can be so difficult. The same is true for just having a crush or meeting a man once and wanting more. it takes two to tango, so you NEED to know if he’s interested.

And when it becomes obvious that he’s not interested, the painful questions begin. First you want to know why doesn’t he like you back? You’re attractive, smart, fairly fit, easy to talk to, so what gives? What could he possibly want that you don’t have?

You might never discover exactly why you weren’t the one for him, but I can give you 11 reasons why he might have chosen to keep looking. Some are about him and some are about you and how you interact with him right from the start.

1.You’re Not His Type

People look for different qualities in a date. That’s why it stands to reason you won’t be the woman for every man – in the same way all men aren’t right for you. You get that right? Sometimes you’re just not a good fit and there’s nothing you can do about it.

2. You Make It Too Easy

I’m sure you’ve heard about playing hard to get. There’s definitely truth to this strategy with men. I’m not saying you need to be impossible to get together with – that can turn a man off fast. But a little resistance makes you a challenge and interesting.

And that’s why when you make things too easy for him it’s a turn off. Maybe this will help you understand this. Most women complain about men who are too nice. You’ve probably met a man like this yourself. And his over-eagerness to please turns you off. He’s too easy so there’s no mystery if he likes you, no excitement and no sexual chemistry.

So, when you change plans at the very beginning of dating to make yourself available or let him know any day of the week is free for him, what’s the fun of that? It appears you have nothing else going on in your life and you end up looking DESPERATE.

Don’t serve yourself up to him on a silver platter making it too easy. Offer one or two nights you are free and let him make other suggestions if those don’t work with his calendar.

3. He Has Unreasonable Standards

Anyone can be guilty of this. When your standards are too high, you could easily end up single. That goes for men as well who might not be realistic with the qualities they seek. For all you know, the man you met, dated or want to meet is ridiculous with his demands for the right woman.

So, if he passes you by thinking the perfect woman will be next, it’s his loss. If you’re wondering why doesn’t he like you back, this is a man not to bother with.

4. You Got Friend Zoned

It happens for a variety of reasons – sometimes you end up in the friend zone. Perhaps you sound too much like one of the guys. Perhaps you seem competitive with him. Or maybe you remind him of someone else.

How you end up there doesn’t matter as much as the fact that you’re not going to get out of the friend zone and will need to move on. When asking why doesn’t he like you back, appealing to him only at the friend level is a problem.

5. He’s Not Sexually Attracted

Either a man finds you sexually attractive or he doesn’t. There are only two choices which means if it turns out he doesn’t find you attractive, there’s not one darn ting you can do about. As the Millionaire Matchmaker, Patti Stanger says, “The penis does the picking.’

With women, we’re different. With time, attraction can grow as a man does something sweet or endearing or he just treats you so well you can’t help but feel his magnetic charm affecting you. I’ve seen this happen over and over again.

One of my clients wanted nothing to do with bald men. Then we talked about it, she went out with a bald guy and fell in love! He had so many of the qualities she wanted she found a way to see past his lack of hair to see the amazing gentleman he really was. But, sorry, this doesn’t work with men.

6. He’s Not Ready

Sometimes a man is just not ready for anything serious. He can sense you are, or he listens when you tell him, so he figures you won’t be open to something casual. Honestly, this is for the better. The last thing you want to do is date a man, fall in love hoping he’ll change and want a serious relationship. Why – because that doesn’t happen.

If a man comes right out and tells you, “I’m not looking for anything serious” or “I need my space but am willing to get to know you,” these are strong signals he doesn’t want a relationship. As a woman who values herself, it’s up to you to believe his honesty, know you can change him and move on. Women who don’t do this are left confused about why doesn’t he like you back.

7. You’re Not Compatible

You might meet a man you’re into, but he sees something in you right away that tips him off how you’re not compatible. A quality man is not going to hang around and waste your time or his. He’ll just move and  not call again.

This can be true even if it seems you both hit it off. Or he might text you for a while because you’re fun and have a quick wit. But, he’ll honor his assessment of you and not ask you out again.

8. He’s Into Another Woman

When you are using online dating sites and the apps, you are both meeting and dating several candidates at the same time This is to be expected and appropriate. The relationship begins once he asks if you want to be exclusive or you bring it up and he agrees.

That’s why it’s possible he’s already met a woman he likes, but is still checking out other options.  Women do the same thing right? This is normal for the early stages of dating and certainly explains the question, “Why doesn’t he like you back?”

9. You’re Trying Too Hard

Maybe you’re tired of being alone and dating and you just want to find the right guy already! Sometimes, being over anxious does come across as trying too hard. It’s very bit as unappealing as making things too easy for him.

Trying too hard can include too much eye contact on a date, too much head-bobbing agreement, or laughing too hard at his jokes. Other possibilities are texting too much, asking him to call you, or coming up with numerous suggestions on what you can do together. This is also similar to coming on too strong.

The best strategy is to simply relax and see what happens. Don’t push it. Hang back to see what he does to win you over and spend time with you. That’s how you know he’s interested – not from his texts or what he says.

10. You’re Divergent on Religion and Politics

Right now in the USA, our politics are highly polarized. This is why I strong urge you not to discuss politics at all. You can post your preferences in your profile – that’s the perfect way to let someone know which side you are on.

However, even if you are on the same side, talking about politics is NOT romantic. The same thing is true about religion. If you’re wondering why doesn’t he like you back after discussing either topic, now you know why you didn’t get a second date – or maybe a first!

11. You’re Too Sexy

There are men today who are still conservative and want a “good woman”. So, if you happen to be a sexy babe and dress less conservatively, you might turn off a small segment of single males. This is especially true for religious men or men who were brought up with strong religious ties, even if they no longer participate.

You could tone down your style. Or you could admit that you can’t appeal to everyone and be who you are! If you chase away a religious man because of your cleavage or tight pants, then he wasn’t the right man for you any way.

Signs He Doesn’t Like You Back

And there you have it – 11 startling, yet common answers to the question, “Why doesn’t he like you back?” The best thing you can do when looking for the right man for lasting love is not get hung up on some guy you’ve just talked or texted with, or only had a handful of dates. Learn how to let it go and stop driving yourself crazy.

The truth is even if you asked him directly, he wouldn’t tell you the truth. And he might not even be able to articulate why you weren’t the one for him. There’s no way to change this fact so drop it. Then move on and meet some new men so you CAN find the right one. He’s out there if you keep your eyes, mind and heart open.

In case you are now wondering how to know if he does like you, this post will spell it out.

For more info on possible dating mistakes you might be making, get a copy of my Free book 7 Dire Dating Mistakes that Ruin Your Chances for Love

How To Get Over A Breakup When He Cheated and Broke Your Heart

Wondering how to get over a breakup when he cheated? You’re broken-hearted and feel like this pain will never end. The good news is that you will get past it if you follow these steps to recover, bounce back and start smiling again.

how to get over a breakup when he cheated7 Steps to Heal from a Breakup

Everyone gets through a tough emotional situation like this differently. But these empowering seven steps will help you get over a breakup and feel like yourself again faster than you might think. And maybe come out the other end wiser and more optimistic, as you look for love again.

1. It’s Not Your Fault.

When a man cheats on you and this ends your relationship, chances are very strong it had nothing to do with you. Yet, women always look at themselves agonizing over their shortcomings, thinking somehow, they are at fault. Why do women consistently blame themselves?

Most likely his cheating has nothing to do with you. He might have wanted his freedom, felt bored, dissatisfied, or wanted variety. Instead of addressing the issue directly with you, he chose the coward’s way out by cheating. He knew this would make you breakup with him. This is all about him, not you.

2. Closure Is a Myth.

What is closure? Most likely you want to hear a reason why he cheated, so you can argue, refute it and convince him he’s wrong. In other words, the search for closure is the hope to turn things around. Did you talk to him trying understand what really went wrong? How did that go?

This is what I mean when I say there is no such thing as closure – it’s a myth. I can’t imagine he would give you a satisfying reason that would suddenly cause you to say, “Ok, I get why you broke up with me.”

Sometimes closure is about getting the last word or even about trying to inflect pain as retribution. That might feel good momentarily, but it sure won’t change the status of your relationship. If you feel like you must, have the conversation one time. Just know more than that is a self-inflicted mission of painful proportions. Don’t do it.

3. Admit It’s Over.

Face the facts. He cheated, you broke up and your relationship is over. Yeah, it sucks, but that’s how it is. The sooner you stop thinking, “But what if …” the sooner you will be able to get past it and move on. Hanging on to hope for love again with that cheating, lying man keeps you tied to him and will also keep you single.

Admit it’s over and feel the pain to move through it and recover.

4. Stop Communicating with Him.

If you are serious about how to get over a breakup when he cheated, stop texting and talking to him. What you need now more than anything is LESS of him – like nothing to do with him at all. This includes not tracking him on social media. Unfriend if you can’t keep yourself from looking. It’s not rude – it’s self-preservation!

How can you possibly expect to get over that cheating liar when you keep following him and communicating? It’s not possible. You may want to stay friends, but that will come later. For now, you need to be on a program of compete abstinence from that man.

Mourning over this loss takes time. Talking to him is like pouring salt into your wounded heart. Don’t check in to see how he’s doing. Don’t ask friends if they’ve seen him. Focus on the most important person for your recovery – YOU! That’s how to get over being cheated on and lied to.

5. Minimize Obsessing about Him.

You might think you just can’t stop obsessing over him, but that is not true. There are many things you can do to distract yourself from going over everything in your head again and again. In fact, distraction is your best friend and one of the most effective paths to recovery.

When you catch yourself in those emotional thought loops, thinking about all the good times and wishing things were different, try any or ALL of the suggestions in the very next step below.

6. Start to Heal and Recover

Let’s talk about what you CAN DO to get over this cheating man, no matter how much you loved him. Here are a number of powerful suggestions that will get you through the darkest hours and bring you back to wholeness:

  • Examine what you learned. When you review your relationship, look back for red flags you ignored about his cheating. Noticing them in hindsight can be easier then when you are going through it and this will make it much easier to recognize the signs should you ever go through this again.
  • Try traditional therapy. Hiring a professional to talk with might be the best investment you ever make. You can learn about patterns, how your family history plays a role and what you can do better next time. Plus, it can be very comforting to talk things over with someone who is objective and not one of your girlfriends.
  • Get physical. Start an exercise program or be more consistent with what you’re already doing. Hire a trainer to get more from your workout – this can also build confidence in yourself and your looks. Try yoga to stretch your muscles and reach a calm, centered place within.

     Increase Self-Care

  • Take Epsom salt baths. When you need to relax and detoxify, there’s nothing like an Epsom salt bath. It soothes your muscles and detoxes your body. A bath is great self-care.
  • Energetic healing. There are many types of energetic healing that work on you at the emotional and spiritual levels. For example, Reiki is a non-invasive, gentle practice that is amazingly relaxing and restorative. Many spas offer this, as well as massage which is also highly beneficial.
  • Read self-help books. There is so much out there to help you let go and move on. Even a book like The Four Agreements which shares a spiritual approach to life (vs. being about breakups) can be eye-opening and healing. Nourish your mind with what can help you grow.

     Ways to Refocus

  • Start a creative project. Strong emotions can be great fodder for creative projects. Just think about how many hits songs are about a breakup! Try kitting, painting, collage, jewelry making, or learn to play an instrument. This will occupy your brain and squeeze out that obsessive thinking.
  • Treat yourself well. Indulge just a little and buy a nice piece of jewelry. Once I bought a diamond heart pendant, so I could feel like a woman who is loved and look like one too. You don’t have to spend a lot to get the feeling – a CZ heart in silver can also do the trick for under $30 bucks. “Retail Therapy” can often bring a smile to your face.
  • Travel local or far. Nothing can stimulate your mind like travel. Whether you venture out for a day, a weekend or a couple of weeks, go see something new. Take an interest in exploring and enjoy the adventure.

7. Express Gratitude

It’s easy to focus on your loss, but what can turn things around is remembering what is going well. Gratitude can be a driving force in your life, creating positive energy and attracting good things. If you wonder how to get over a breakup when he cheated, this is always something worth trying and in fact, sometimes a great place to start.

Count your blessings because there is a lot to be grateful for when you think about it. You might have great friends, a wonderful family, a nice place to live, a good job, excellent health and engaging hobbies that make you happy. Even gratitude for a sunny day is worthwhile.

People often forget all that is right in their life. Taking time to acknowledge the good stuff, especially the small things, will bring a smile to your face and make you feel like everything will be OK. And it will be. Life moves on and you will recover.

That’s How to Get Over A Breakup When He Cheated

No matter how brutal your breakup was, you now have plenty of ways to get over that man. After a relatively short pity party (you can’t afford to wallow girlfriend), take action! These methods for how to get over a breakup when he cheated will get you started on the path to recovery and help you start smiling again.

And, when you feel ready to get back out there, the first thing to do is raise your love vibration so you can attract a better man. Listen to my free audio program 8 Ways to Raise Your Love Vibration


Top 10 Personality Traits – If He’s Got Them, Never Let Him Go

What personality traits and qualities do you look for in a man? Check out these top 10 characteristics and if your man has them, hold on tight!

personality traitsCharacteristics of a Quality Man

There are some things about a good man that all women want. And a few become more desirable with age as we grow wiser and learn from our relationship mistakes. Most of these qualities are basic and might not surprise you. But, this list is a good reminder of the most important aspects to look for in the men you meet if you are dating to find lasting love.

1. He’s Loyal

Whether you require loyalty, faithfulness, or monogamy, the theme here is the same. Like all women, you want a man you can trust and one who is not likely to cheat. You might also prefer a man whose loyal extends to his employer, family and friends as well. Men’s Health Magazine conducted a survey of 1,000 American women and this was their #1 requirement for a good partner.

2. He’s Got a Sense of Humor

Almost all women want a man who can make them laugh. The ability to take what life gives you with a sense of humor can be a game changer. Everyone goes through ups and downs, so if your man can easily bring a smile to your face, that is a major plus. levity lightens the load for sure.

3. He’s Confident

If your man is comfortable in his own skin and knows he can make things happen, that confidence is highly appealing. One of the most valued personality traits, it feels so good to be with someone who doesn’t spin their wheels doubting what is possible. When your man feels good about himself, he’s more positive, presents himself well with new people and is likely more accepting of others versus critical.

4. He’s Smart

Having a high IQ and strong intelligence makes a difference to most single gals looking for a life partner. You figure a smart man will be a better earner, has more opportunities and will be better able to keep up with you! In case you’re hoping to start a family, you’re also looking for good genes.

5. He’s Kind

Is your man a nice guy? As far as personality traits go, kindness stands out for the majority of women. How can you tell if a man is nice right away? Watch how he treats the waitstaff in a restaurant. You can also gauge a man’s kindness on how he interacts with animals, children and the elderly.  A man who has a caring nature will make life together far more enjoyable.

6. He’s Generous

There are many types of generosity women look for as the sign of a good man. This is not only about his spending habits, but also how willing he is to share his time and heart with you. A guy with a generous spirit gives of himself freely and willingly helps you and others when asked. And this brings out your own generosity as well.

7. He’s Reliable

Many women mention how much a man’s reliability means to them. Someone you can count on. His word is gold and he follows through on his promises. This personality trait builds trust between two people because you know what you are getting into with him. What you see is what you get – if he says he’ll do something, he does.

8. He Has Similar Values

This isn’t exactly about personality traits, but it is part of his character that matters deeply. When you share the same values about life and relationships, you can usually understand and respect each other. Having the same basic moral integrity enhances the bond because there won’t likely be any big shockers regarding how he looks at the world.

9. He’s Supportive

A man who is supportive has a lot to offer as a life partner. When you are seeking lasting love, a supportive man stands out. He’ll listen to what you have to say, offer emotional support and have your back. Personality traits like this one relate to others as well such as reliability.

10. He’s Flexible

Flexibility can make your relationship so much easier. Everything doesn’t happen as we plan, so a man’s ability to roll with what is happening is essential. You know he can compromise if needed when the two of you have different needs or opinions on something. Both people need to bend in order to maintain respect for each other during arguments.

Important Personality Traits in a Man

That’s the list of the top 10 personality traits women seek in a quality man. If you’re seeing someone currently, how did he stack up? I hope he did well!

If you are looking for love with the right man, print out this list and keep it handy. As you meet a new guy see how he measures up. Keep these personality traits in mind as you continue dating.

If a man starts to come up short on more than two or more of these qualities, take note. It might be time to re-evaluate his true potential as a life partner. Breaking up after a few weeks is so much easier than after months…or years.

Don’t wobble or settle when it comes to these most basic character requirements. If you aren’t seeing this qualities in the man you are dating move on now. You deserve to be with a really good man, so your relationship can grow and blossom in a lasting and healthy love.

Ready to better understand men and see through his mixed signals? Get my Free book His Mixed Signals Are Driving Me Crazy.

15 Openers To Start A Conversation On Bumble

Confused about how to start a conversation on Bumble or Tinder? Try any of these 15 openers to get the ball rolling and connect with more men through the dating apps.

how to start a converstion on bumbleHow to Start a Conversation on Bumble or Tinder

As you know on Tinder, anyone can start a conversation, but on Bumble the woman must initiate. Either way, it’s time to figure out how to get a man’s attention on the dating apps so you can find “The One”.

Humor is a winning approach. Bumble, Tinder and Hinge offer suggestions about how to open a conversation and I borrowed a couple of those. Then I’ve added several of my own one liners to the list below.

The idea is to stand out and capture a man’s attention. Many of my coaching clients started out using really lame openers. You definitely want to avoid anything that can be answered with yes, no or “good”.

Typical Small Talk Won’t Work

For example, a lot of women try, “How is your week going?” This makes no sense because the only thing a man can answer is “good” and where does that lead? No where. You don’t know each other so, no one is going to start explaining what actually happened during the week. This question is better for people you already know.

Once I explained to these women how to better engage men through the apps, that all changed and so did their results! You want to make him curious about you so, he wants to know MORE about you. That way, he’ll respond and you can enter a conversation to see if there’s a connection.

The goal is to get a date – to do that, you need to stand out from all the other women on the app. Some of these one-liners are old favorites and others have a flirty twist. Try a bunch of them to see what works best for you.

Naturally you can start by asking him a question about something in his profile or photos. However, there are plenty of men who don’t say much about themselves, write next to nothing or and have little going on in their photos. These suggestions are for when these usual options are not available.

The first few simple texts pose basic questions directed at singles over 50. If you are younger, you’ll get the idea and can create your own comparisons more suitable for your own age group.

For example, a Glamour Magazine article recommended this question about the TV show Friends, “Do you think Ross and Rachel ever really broke up?” This works for older singles who watched the show when it aired live as well as younger people discovering the show today on Netflix.

How to Get a Date on Bumble

What do all of these suggestions have in common? They don’t pry or require revealing anything too personal. The openers are fun, non-threatening and easy to respond to which is why they are so effective.

More than anything, you want to avoid reaching out with qualifying questions because you’ll get no real answers. However, you can push men away who don’t want to be interrogated. The goal is to create some fun while connecting so you get a chance to talk on the phone and then meet. That is the point right?

The easier and more fun you make the first contact, the more likely you will create a deeper connection and get a date!

First Bumble Message

1. Coke or Pepsi? The “Cola Wars” have been going on for decades and it’s fun to find out which side someone will take. It’s not personal and comes out of nowhere, bringing back memories of a more youthful time for the person you ask.

2. Rolling Stones or the Beatles? Taking you back to the 60’s and the time of the British invasion (here in the US) is another great way to recapture a youthful feeling. That’s perfect for singles over 50 but is a fair question about musical preference for any age.

3. Happy Days or Mork and Mindy? This is another fun comparison based on TV watching in the late 70s and early 80s. Both shows were pure fun entertainment and will likely bring back enjoyable memories.

4. Mountains vs. sea shore? Exploring the idea of where you prefer to spend your free time can open up a rich path for conversation about vacations and where people feel their best.

5. What do you put on your pizza? Some people are purists and like only cheese, while others consider a wide range of toppings from spinach and broccoli to bacon or pineapple. it’s just a fun question and easy to answer.

Cute First Messages on Bumble

6. What’s your favorite travel destination? Who doesn’t like to go on vacation? Talking about travel and vacation will likely put someone in a good mood in the same way time off does. You can learn a lot about a person’s sense of adventure from where they like to go and if they repeat the same vacation over and over or always go someplace new.

7. How do you spend a rainy Sunday? This question helps you learn about a person’s free time and how creative they get with it. Does the guy just watch sports or movies or look for something more stimulating like a museum? Or maybe they get a few friends together and play cards.

8. Are you a Leo? Asking about Astrology is always a fun line of conversation. People love to talk about themselves without getting too personal. Even if he’s not interested, chances are he’ll know his Sun Sign.

9. Did you just wink at me? This is a playful, flirty one-liner meant to get a man thinking. Obviously, he didn’t wink at you but that doesn’t matter. Flirting is fun is this is one way to start.

10. What do you do when you’re not making me melt? Another flirty opener, this appeals to his masculine side and ego. Telling a man he makes you melt is so flattering and could warm him up to you in case he needs it.

What to Say First on Bumble – More Suggestions

11. What would you do if you won the lottery? Here’s how you might learn a little bit about his dreams by asking what he’d do if he didn’t have to work anymore or came into a lot of money. Pure fun.

12. Jazz or Rock? Music is a great topic to start a conversation and this is a classic question. A lot of men love music and will be happy to wax on about their favorite genres and artists. Having musical interests in common can help you bond.

13. East coast or West coast? Everyone has a preference and this is also a way to discover where he’s from. This question is a great example of how to start a conversation on Bumble or other dating apps.

14. Tell me two truths and a lie. I had never heard of this little game but apparently, it’s become quite popular as a conversation starter. You’ll have to guess which one is the lie and you can see how this creates plenty to text about. Be creative with your own responses!

15. Can I buy you a drink or do you prefer the cash? This is an old pick up line that comes at a man out of nowhere and will get his attention for sure. Another flirty option, the humor in this one-liner could open doors and start conversations with men you might not connect with otherwise.

Messaging a Guy on Bumble or Tinder

So, there you have it – 15 creative ways to reach out on the apps and start a conversation with a man. Now you have no excuses and know how to start a conversation on Bumble or Tinder.

Be brave and be bold! Don’t just try the one about pizza – try some of the flirty starters because you never know exactly what the thing is that will help you connect with “The One” and be the start of the magic that love is.

When you are gripping tightly, hoping each man could be “The One” you are not at your best. The most important thing you can do is simply have fun with this. If a man doesn’t respond, move on. There are so many men out there and more join every day.

The more you can simply relax, enjoy the process and allow yourself to see the potential for humor, the better your results will be.

If you want more online dating tips, check out my program How to Sizzle vs. Fizzle Online or hire me to write your profile for you.

17 Signs He Likes You But Doesn’t Want A Relationship

Seeing signs he likes you but doesn’t want a relationship? It can be so confusing! Here’s how to know for sure if the man you’re dating is wasting your time or truly interested.

signs he likes you but doesn't want a relationshipWhether you’re intuitive or not, women always wish they could read a man’s mind. The reason? Because we need to know DOES HE LIKE ME OR NOT? And we spend a LOT of time trying to figure this out.

You watch all the signs and read into situations to interpret what you think they mean. Wracking your brain, you read a bunch of articles on the web. Feeling frustrated and at your wit’s end, you drive yourself (and potentially your friends too) CRAZY!

But here’s what you really need to know. You don’t need to be a mind reader to discover if he’s serious about you. Instead, understanding where he stands is not about what he THINKS as much as WHAT HE DOES. For the most part, a man’s actions tell you everything you really need to know.

When A Man Likes You But, Doesn’t Want A Relationship

I’ve uncovered 17 signs he likes you but doesn’t want a relationship and I’m sure there are even more. If you read through these, you’ll know what to look for or how to read the signs he is sending. So, read through the list and if you have more than one of these situations going on, it’s time to get real about this guy and realize he’s probably not “The One” for you.

1.He Texts But Doesn’t Ask You Out

Some men love to text or they call and talk on the phone for hours. Yet, they never get around to asking you out. Or they go on one or two dates then revert to the phone.

This type of thing is usually a sign that a man wants attention and maybe emotional support, but not the responsibility or expectations that come from a true relationship. He’ll take what he can get from you but never give you what you need. The solution – STOP COMMUNICATING.

2. He Asks You Out But Leaves It Vague

After some texting or talking, he finishes up with, “Let’s get together this weekend.” But he doesn’t nail down a plan. What is this about? He might enjoy texting or talking with you but doesn’t want or need anything more from you. Or he’s stringing you along while he’s waiting to see who else might be free before committing to a date.

3. He Talks About The Future But Puts Off Plans

Some guys love to talk about the future. They bring it up even if you don’t which is why you think it has MEANING. Truth is, future talk means nothing and could just be his fantasy. Or the idea feels good in the moment. You know this because he doesn’t follow through with plans. He might actually says he can’t make plans now because he’s too busy or has things to straighten out first.

How To Tell He Likes You But Doesn’t Want a Relationship


4. He Doesn’t Introduce You To Friends Or Family

When a man is serious about you, he will slowly introduce you to some of his friends and then his family. It could take longer for family – maybe up to three months. (For children it might take up to 6 months which is perfectly acceptable.) Usually within the first two months he will introduce you to SOMEONE. So, if he’s keeping you a secret and not getting you to meet his peeps, he doesn’t want a real relationship.

5. He Won’t Define The Relationship

If you’ve been seeing a man longer than three months and he refuses to define the relationship, that is NOT a good sign. A man who is serious wants to claim you as his and give you the “Girlfriend” title. This is one of those telltale signs he likes you but doesn’t want a relationship.

6. He Disappears But Comes Back

This guy is either texting like crazy or completely silent. He shows up, interacts with you and maybe goes on a date or two, and then he’s gone again. What is up with that? He may have intimacy issues, be dating other women or doesn’t want anything serious to develop. A man who is on and off again is NOT the right man because you need consistency for a healthy, lasting love.

Signs He Doesn’t Care Enough


7. He’s Too Busy To See You

Perhaps he says he likes you and you are the one for him or maybe he’s not saying anything except that he’s too busy to see you. He can’t make plans right now because of his job, his boss, his crazy ex, his family, etc. If he puts you off that’s a sign he doesn’t want a relationship with you.

8. He’s Friendly When You Bump Into You

This guy is SO happy to see you when he bumps into you at a party or around town. He sticks by your side as if he really likes you. So, you would think he’d contact you after. But nope, he doesn’t connect.

This is extremely confusing because his actions when he’s sees you are different than when he’s out of touch. Just keep in mind that a man who does nothing to see you does NOT want a relationship with YOU.

9. He Won’t Make It Official

You’ve been seeing this man for several months but, he won’t make it official. He prefers to just go along as things are and doesn’t want to rock the boat. It’s good the way it is right? Not if he’s serious about you. That’s a sure sign he doesn’t like you enough to take things to the next level.

If A Guy Says He Likes You But Doesn’t Want a Relationship

10. He Says He Misses You But Does Nothing To See You

Some guys just know what to say to keep you hanging on and this is a perfect example. If he says he misses you but, makes no attempts to see you, it’s complete bullsh*t. Don’t fall for this and believe his empty words. If he really meant it, he’d do what it takes to spend time with you. No excuses!

11. He Refuses To Be Exclusive Or Take Down His Profile

Pay attention to this – it’s one of the biggest signs he likes you but doesn’t want a relationship. When a man is unwilling to take down his profile for any reason, he’s letting you know he’s not going to be exclusive. This is a man who still wants to play the field and is not interested in monogamy. The same thing goes for a man who is unwilling to agree to exclusivity.

12. He Said Doesn’t Want A Relationship

A lot of men will often come right out and TELL you they don’t want a relationship or aren’t looking for anything serious. When a man says either one of these phrases, BELIEVE HIM! Many women tend to ignore this because he couples this comment with, “But I’d like to get to know you and see where it goes.” That’s the sign of a man who is non-committal and just wants something casual.

More Signs He Doesn’t Want A Relationship

13. He Has Problems To Work Out

You might meet a great guy who has so many of the qualities you want. Too bad he has problems that are getting in the way. He’s unemployed or has a difficult boss and has to work all the time. He’s got a crazy ex and has to carefully manage her and the kids. Perhaps he has health issues that he blames for not being able to get together.

Whatever his problems are, they become your problems if you let them. Yet, last time I checked, you didn’t need more problems! If you meet a guy who is wonderful, but he has issues dragging him down, he’s not ready for a relationship with you. Let go and move on if you want a good relationship. This is not the same as if you were in love for years and a problem cropped up – that’s completely different.

14. He Cancels Frequently

The guy you are seeing talks a good came and makes plans, but often cancels. Keep in mind it’s not the making of the plan that counts, it’s the follow through. Whether he means well or not, no one cancels that often without it being some kind of game. Move on.

15. He Avoids Talking Things Over With You

An issue crops up with the man you’re dating. You try to talk about it and let him know how you feel but he will not discuss it. That’s one of the sign he likes you but doesn’t want a relationship. You cannot maintain a healthy relationship if you cannot communicate or talk things through.

This is how you get stuck with an impossible man where everything is his way or the highway. Don’t let it happen to you. If he’s unwilling to talk or inflexible, walk away and find a better man who is relationship-oriented

16. You Don’t Go On Real Dates

This man seems sweet but for a number of reasons you never go on real date. He’s happy to hang out with you at your place. He might bring over a pizza or take out. He’ll watch a movie or sit by the fire – it’s all very romantic.

The problem is, you never go out or on a real date. He doesn’t take you to dinner like most men. He doesn’t want to be out in public with you. Ahhh, there’s one of the biggest signs he likes you but doesn’t want a relationship. That’s because he’s already in one! My bet is this guy is cheating on a woman and CAN’T be seen with you or he’ll get caught. Run don’t walk away from this guy no matter how much you love him.

17. He’s Not Curious About You Or Your Life

Last of the 17 signs he likes you but doesn’t want a relationship, is that he’s not at all curious about your life. He doesn’t ask many questions. He doesn’t remember some big event in your life and want to know how it went.

He’s not boring, it’s just that his main interest is himself. So, if you’re happy with everything being about him and being in a one-way relationship with a narcissist, that’s your choice. My dating advice is to dump him and find a better man for a loving relationship that works for you both.

Signs He Likes You But Doesn’t Want A Relationship

Now that you know what to look for regarding how he doesn’t want relationship, let me give you a super quick run-down on the signs he DOES want  a relationship.

  • He takes you on a real date at least once a week
  • He communicates in between, texting and at least one phone call
  • After 4-6 weeks he starts introducing you to his buddies and siblings
  • Within three months you go on a weekend away
  • Slowly, he starts to discuss his life decisions with you
  • Your man asks how you are and is very interested in your happiness and life
  • You love how he does nice things for you
  • He expresses how he feels although it might take time to say the word LOVE
  • You can count on him
  • He keeps his promises
  • You trust him
  • You feel comfortable with him and can be yourself
  • Your friends like him
  • He accepts you for who you are and is proud to be with you and show you off
  • Thankfully, he’s happy to help when you ask
  • He agrees to or asks you to be in an exclusive relationship

Wishing you love!

signs he likes you but doesn't want a relationship



Want more smart advice to find love faster? Get a copy of my book MANifesting Mr. Right today!


How Are You Supposed To Flirt With A Man Without Turning Him Away

How are you supposed to flirt with a man? Is there a certain way to flirt that will draw him in vs. make him run away? What do you need to know about flirting to make it work for you? Read on for simple flirting tips that really WORK and are a lot of fun too!

how are you supposed to flirtWhy Do You Want To Flirt?

The ability to flirt is coded into your DNA. Why? For survival of the species. The original purpose of flirting was to attract a mate and bring more humans into the world. All animals do some sort of dance or preening to attract the opposite sex.  It’s completely natural and an innate skill built right into you from birth.

Today, flirting has a different purpose. Even if you want a family, first you want love. Being in relationship in the 21st century is now a choice. Men and women no longer NEED each other to survive, but we WANT companionship and support. We want romance and partnership in life.

Flirting is a method for getting male attention and making yourself approachable, so you can meet more men to find “The One” for you.

How to Flirt with a Man

Are you concerned that your flirting might backfire? That can’t happen if you understand the true underlying purpose of flirting. But first let me explain what flirting really is.

According to the Google dictionary, to flirt is to “behave as though attracted to or trying to attract someone, but for amusement rather than with serious intentions.” While I was surprised to see this, it’s the perfect definition although I was surprised to see it on the web. It’s perfect because flirting is NOT serious.

The main reason to flirt is to engage with men in a fun, playful and spontaneous way. You are letting men know you are available and approachable. Your flirting might not even be verbal. (Related post Talking with Strangers). A lot of fabulous flirting is completely NONVERBAL.

Flirting Body Language

How are you supposed to flirt using body language? When male attention is your goal, this is the easiest part. It might not work to get a certain man’s interest but, you will get noticed by men.

Whether or not you are consciously aware of what you are doing, you are wired to send and receive body language messages. It’s an innate skill that everyone has. Just like you can tell when someone is super happy or there has been a big argument, just by looking at them. You KNOW because of your human ability to read body language.

That’s EXACTLY why flirting works so well! Here is a list of things that you may feel silly doing, but do not doubt for one minute the effect these little moves have on getting men to notice you.

1.Smile and Connect – When you catch a man eyeing you, SMILE back and briefly hold his gaze for just 2-3 seconds that’s it. Any longer and he’ll think you ARE serious so don’t go there. This is about light interactions, not seduction.

2. Touch Your Neck – Your neck is an erogenous zone, so when you put your fingers or hand on your neck, most men around you will notice. This is great in a room with plenty of people if you are networking or in a restaurant bar.

3. Play with Hair or Jewelry – Fiddling with your earrings or necklace is a great flirty move and let’s men know you are available. It’s a simple little move but it sends the right signals. Same thing is true for playing with your hair – whether you twist a little piece that hangs down or toss it and let it settle out naturally, men will get this message.

4.  Look Over Your Shoulder – If you look back at a man over your shoulder and up through your lashes, this is considered super flirty. Spot a man looking at you? Smile back before looking away, then turn back a few minute later to look again. Boom! That’s a signal of interest!

When Flirting Turns Men Off

Let me be really clear. There are a few things you DON’T want to do if you’re still wondering how are you supposed to flirt with a man. This is how flirting goes wrong and actually turns a man off. You want to be aware to make sure you don’t take things too far.

1.Staring Is Rude – Eye contact should not last longer than 2-3 seconds. If you aren’t sure what I mean, think about it the old-fashioned way – count to yourself, “One, one thousand, two one thousand.” This is how people used to measure time because saying the numbers this way takes about two seconds.

Even if you want to be a bit more seductive and actually look a man up and down the way men look at you, this is QUICK! Do NOT linger because you end up looking like you are STARING which is creepy and aggressive. Men will look away for good.

I’ve had clients tell me they looked at men and smiled and it didn’t work. I can’t promise this will work on any particular man – but will help you get the attention of men around you who find you attractive. But, it won’t make a man want you. Either he does or he doesn’t. Holding his eye contact longer will backfire.

2. Licking Your Lips – Some experts talk about licking your lips so, they are wet and get his attention. That’s also the purpose of lip gloss! However, the act of licking your lips too frequently could make you look like a drug addict so stick with more demure methods.

3. Too Many Flirty Moves – Sometimes a woman trying these flirting tips thinks they aren’t working, so she’ll do them all one after another. Unfortunately, this is a place where more is NOT better and you could end up looking like a hussy! That’s hot for a man looking for sex but, a HUGE turn off for a quality man seeking a woman for lasting love.

How Are You Supposed to Flirt?

Well, now you know a few easy flirting tricks that are sure to get you some male attention. And you also know how to avoid several flirting mistakes that turn men off.

Think of yourself being demur or coy – these are great words to put you in a flirty mindset. Flirting heightens your feminine energy which also increases a man’s masculine response. Exactly what you want to achieve when you’re out there looking for love.

When you rely on your feminine charms, you attract men to you. Draw them in with your allure. This is the opposite of man hunting when you seek them out and aggressively go after them.

You’ll discover it’s nearly impossible to capture the attention of quality masculine man with any aggressive moves. He may go along for the ride and be willing to sleep with you. He might be open to a casual relationship.

What a Quality Man Seeks in a Woman

On the other hand, a quality man seeks a woman who knows how to BE a woman and let him be the MAN. She lets the man lead, knowing her power is one of allure and warmth. She never tries to use her business skills to GET a man because she understands that is not of interest to a successful, decisive, masculine man.

So, how are you supposed to flirt with a man? With grace, ease and style. Relying on confidence and a playful attitude. Holding the knowledge that your allure is your feminine power to bring men to you. You’ve got this babe.

If you still want to learn more about flirting, check out Flirt School – it’s got all the fun, flirty lessons a single woman can want!