Learn the 13 shocking signs he just wants sex, so you know what to watch for to side step men like this. It’s obvious once you know what to look for.

What If He Only Wants to Sleep with You?

“Dear Ronnie,

Are there signs he just wants sex? Why do men lie? If they are not into you for more than just a date, why lie and tell you they like you or act as if they like you.

Why do they discuss future vacations together and talk about going out, then Ghost after they’ve been dating you for 2 months. Is it that hard to act normal?

If he is not interested in more than just sex, why doesn’t he act so? Do guys never think about being honest? Do we as women literally have to ask them, “OK, are you really interested in me?”

Please help me understand because I am often heartbroken and left feeling so sad and very confused.

Thanks,
Nath from Chicago”

Understanding Men And Their Games

Dear Nath,

You asked good questions and I am going to answer each one, so you understand what is going on with men. I know this can be emotionally crushing, but there is a way to recognize a player faster. Once you know, then you can avoid these predators with ease.

When you are a straightforward woman looking for love, you want to trust and believe men. Yet, one disappointment and heartbreak after another makes it harder and harder. I understand how you feel and I went through this myself when I was dating and looking for love before meeting the man who became my husband.

Having met plenty of these types, I LEARNED how to catch on quickly and that made all the difference. I stopped wasting time on a man who showed signs he just wants sex and moved on to meet other men who was more potential.

Why Do Men Lie And Act Interested?

First, keep in mind not all men lie or pretend to be interested. Let’s think about this from a man’s perspective to better understand what’s really going on. If a man just wants sex and told you that, would you go for it? No, of course not! Men know most women don’t want to jump into bed – they prefer to get to know a guy a first.

So, that’s why some men lie. They do this to get their needs met the only way they know how. The same thing applies for talking about the future and vacations, etc. This kind of conversation is designed to make him look like he’s got long-term intentions about you, so you trust him and then…sleep with him.

Why Do Men Ghost?

Most men hate emotional scenes and will do whatever is necessary to avoid a big blow up. That’s why they stop contacting you (aka ghost) rather than breakup directly. Nothing new – this has been going on forever. A lot of guys don’t want to cause you pain face-to-face, but know they have to move on, so they drop out of sight.

Some experts say men are cowardly to avoid confrontation. Another way to look at this is they have a different threshold for emotions vs. women. That’s why most men rather shut down a difficult conversation or walk away, rather than talk it through. It’s often too much for a man. And that’s one way to know you found a good man when he’s willing to discuss things calmly.

Why Can’t You Ask Him Directly?

Last but not least, you CANNOT ask a man directly if he likes you. Why not? Because how will you know if he’s telling the truth? It’s a pointless effort. Again, this is confrontational and not the way to engage with men.

The Real Problem

Here’s the real problem – these are NOT THE RIGHT QUESTIONS! While you want to know if a man is lying and the signs he just wants sex, that’s not the best way to make decisions.

Instead, focus on discovering if he QUALIFIES to be your man. Does he pursue you consistently, requesting weekly dates, calling between dates and texting? Is he interested to get to know you or does he only talk about himself? Does he try to please you and find out what you like?

These are signs of a man who has a genuine interest and potential for a loving relationship. When a man asks you out consistently, shows that he cares, does nice things for you, stays in touch and becomes someone you can’t count on – that’s how you know he is worthy of your love.

How To Spot A Man Who Just Wants Sex

Here are the 13 signs he just wants sex:

1. He talks about your looks from the moment you meet.
2. He brings up sex within the first couple of dates.
3. He’s a super flirt, very charming and seems like a player.
4. He wants to sext and asks for pictures.
5. He only communicates (text, email, phone) when he’s wants a booty call.
6. He says he’s not looking for a relationship but will get to know you.
7. You don’t go out on dates and have sex every time you see him.
8. He’s got excuses for why he can’t spend time with your friends.
9. He never spends the night.
10. He’s angry if you don’t hop in the sack.
11. He’s not much for foreplay.
12. You don’t know much about him and your conversations are superficial
13. You haven’t met his friends.

These Are The Signs He Just Wants Sex

If you see more than one of these signs, accept the fact this guy is most likely only into you for the sex. And now that you know the13 signs, be smart and heed this warning.

There’s nothing wrong with casual sex if you protect yourself and agree to participate. It can be a fun, you might learn something new and it’s a great stress reliever. But keep your eyes open and be smart.

On the other hand, if you are looking for something more serious and lasting, hold off on sex until you  see if he qualifies as a romantic partner and meets your standards. This is how you value yourself and don’t get sucked into casual relationships, dreaming of something more.

If you want more help with learning how to understand men, why not schedule a session with me? There’s no charge for this 45-minute call where we will work to figure out what’s getting in the way of finding love with the right man and if coaching is for you. Book your session now!

Does he like me? How can you tell if the new guy you are seeing is really into you and serious about building a relationship or just going along for the ride? Watch for these 14 clues to know if he’s into you.

Does He Like Me – How Can I Tell?

Finally you are dating a guy you really like and it seems he likes you too. But how do you know for sure? There are definitely signs to watch for once you know what matters most about a new guy and how he treats you.

So many women get terribly confused, frustrated and anxious trying to figure this out. They ask girlfriends, family, guy friends, search the web seeking answers to the emotionally driven question “Does he like me?” That’s why I want to break this down for you into simple, easily understandable pieces so you know where you stand.

This information is strictly for the start of dating which means the first 6-8 weeks. If you’ve been with each other for several months, then the criteria and clues change. So this pertains to the start of dating and a budding relationship.

1) He Asks You Out On Real Dates

The man you are seeing asks to see you and takes you on REAL dates. What is a real date? When you go out to do something like dinner, movie, going for a walk and then drinks, going to a museum, seeing live music, etc. A real date is time spent out in public where he pays for you.

Free dates like a walk, hiking or kayaking, biking, kite-flying etc., are OK for some of the dates. But if all your dates are free, think twice. If he’s not willing to invest even a small amount of money to entertain you, then he has no money, is super cheap or has money issues.

If you go to your house or his and watch a movie or talk, that’s not a real date, particularly for the first four weeks. Stay out of the house for safety and to reduce the temptation of sleeping with him before you know he has real merit.

2) You See Him at Least Once a Week

It’s OK if things start out slowly and you only see him once a week for a few weeks. But by week four or five, things should pick up if he’s into you. When you are seeing a man who is super busy and he doesn’t have time because he’s traveling or has his kids, etc., that let’s you know he’s NOT ready or doesn’t have time for a real relationship.

Don’t except his excuses. Men show you who they really are through their actions. If he talks about wanting to see you, but doesn’t make time weekly, he’s not the right man. Yes, it really is this simple if you date with your head and not just your heart. This is how you avoid getting attached to a man you won’t be happy with.

3) He Calls At Least Once A Week

Texting is not a way to get to know someone. It’s fun, entertaining and you can learn about each other this way, but to really get to know a person, you need to talk on the phone (or see each other in person). There is no substitute for conversation when it comes to finding out what you need to know to properly vet a man.

You want to hear his voice – how long he pauses before answering a question, his tone of voice, when and why he laughs and so much more. Texting offers only one dimension, where actual conversation is multi-dimensional and rich with clues about who a man is.

4) He Is Consistent

When asking, “Does he like me?”, the real answer is seen over time. You are looking for consistency which is a sign of his true interest.

A lot of men will SAY they are seriously interested, but then disappear for days or longer, talk about plans and the future, but never ask to see you. I call this “Blah, blah, blah” which means he’s all talk (or text) and it means nothing.

Watch what he DOES – that tells you everything you need to know about if he likes you. His consistent efforts to get to know you mean a lot.

5) He Keeps His Promises

A quality man showing genuine interest keeps his word to you. Anyone might need to cancel here or there but if he cancels often or needs to reschedule, that’s a big warning sign that other things are far more important than you! it could also mean he has issues telling the truth or following through and neither one is good.

6) He Pays For Half Your Dates Or More

I’m old fashioned and think chivalry is not dead. For the most part let the man pay for at least the first few dates. After the second or third date, you can offer to pay. Then you can take turns if that feels right.

If you start paying for the majority of dates, that’s a bad sign. This indicates he may have a chip on his shoulder about women and money, is cheap, has some kind of money issue, or isn’t that interested in you.

If you’re asking, “Does he like me?” and the guy you’re seeing never takes out his wallet – the answer is NO.

7) He Asks About Your Life

Want to know if he’s serious? One way is if he asks about your life and shows interest in what you are doing, working on or hoping for. This is what a quality man does – he wants to be a part of your life, not just seeing you as an extension of his life.

When a man only talks about himself and doesn’t ask many questions after the first couple of dates, that’s a red flag he might be self-absorbed or narcissistic. If this is happening, I can see why you want to know, “Does he like me?”

8) He Shares About His Life

Sometimes men share personal details very quickly and women tend to think he must really like them as a result. However, if he’s pouring his heart out on the first phone call or date – that can be a seduction technique OR a sign he’s super needy. Again, neither is good.

However, as he gets to know you, if he starts sharing what happened at work or with a friend and what is going on in his life, that’s a very good sign. He’s bringing you into this world. If he calls because he’s excited about something and wants to share it with you – awesome!

9) He Asks For Your Opinion

When a man you’re seeing asks what you think about something going on in his life, whether it’s buying a car or a situation at work, that’s a good sign too. He respects you enough to value your insights. This is significant – wahoo!

10) Introduces You To Friends & Family

When a man slowly introduces you around to key friends and family, that’s a sign he’s getting comfortable enough with you to include you in his life. However, be aware sometimes a man thinks you’re really hot and takes you to meet his buddies to show off. You’ll need to combine this clue with others just to be sure.

11) Treats You With Kindness and Respect

Anyone can have a bad day, but as long as most of the time your man treats you with respect, that’s what you are looking for. If he’s kind, is interested in what you like and what makes you happy, that’s what counts!

12) Accepts You For Who You Are

The right man doesn’t try to control you or change you and accepts you for exactly who you are. He doesn’t criticize your clothing, what you eat or your beliefs even if he doesn’t agree with everything – who does? You know you’ve got a keeper when he thinks your quirks are cute.

13) Works Through An Issue

Even at the beginning of a budding romance, something might come up that needs to be discussed and worked through. This guy is willing to talk about it to make sure he understands your point of view and then wants to work out a solution.

On the other hand, if you get into a scrap and he walks away, starts yelling, blames you for the problem, or becomes unpleasant in any way, these are glaring red flags. For lasting love, you need to be able to communicate calmly and work through issues.

14) He Compliments You

Let’s not forget basic compliments like he saying something nice about your hair or dress. Or saying how much fun he has with you, what a beautiful smile you have or how much he likes spending time with you.

This one needs to be combined with a few others to have real meaning, but hey- it’s always nice to get compliments!

Now You Know The Signs

You might not see all 14 clues that let you know he likes you all at once. Several take time to emerge. However, if you are looking for lasting love and a healthy relationship, you’ll want to see all of these to know you’ve found a good man who is surely a keeper.

Don’t make excuses for your guy. If you are often wondering, “Does he like me?” he’s probably not the right man. A good man doesn’t leave you hanging. If he’s not always kind, never compliments you or doesn’t want to talk things through, your relationship will be problematic.

Building a good relationship can be hard enough when everything is good, so do not overlook these qualities if you want to be with a man who will make a good life partner.

Dating a separated man can be a challenge. You’ll need to be patient for plenty of reasons, but for how long? Read on to find out what you need to know.

Can Dating a Separated Man Work?

The best answer I can give on dating a separated man is that  – it depends. There are so many variables and I can only cover so many, but I will do my best to touch on the main points.

His Personality

First, it depends on the man’s personality. How much can he handle living in the flux of still being legally married, but not in a romantic relationship. For some men this is a huge burden and they need time to heal. That usually cannot happen until the divorce is over. So, if the guy you’re dating is still separated, you’ve got a LONG HAUL before you.

His Ex Wife

Another contributing factor depends on his ex – is she a high-drama type or civil and reasonable. If he claims she’s crazy, you are sure to suffer being in a relationship with him. It doesn’t matter if this seems fair or not, when the ex is difficult, everyone is affected.

His Children

Some men have no trouble seeing their kids and having a life for themselves. Others feel tremendously guilty and as a result must spend every waking moment with their children when they have them. What that means for you is you’ll always be a second-class citizen and never come first. This will show up in many hurtful ways and never get better so beware if this is your situation.

You might only see him on his off weekend or may be not even that will be guaranteed. You can forget about anything regular if he works weekends, is passionate about his hobbies, or his wife offers more time with his kids than their agreement stipulates.

Dating a Separated Man – Is He Ready?

Regardless of what he SAYS, most men who are separated are not ready for a new serious relationship. If you’re OK with casual, which means you’ll see each other whenever and not every weekend, then it might work. Not all women want a consistent, close relationship fearing their independence will be at risk. This can be perfect if you are not looking for a commitment.

However, if you want a committed relationship, weekend companionship, consistent weekly dates, you are out of luck when dating a separated man. He will have too many things taking up his time to offer what you want or meet your needs.

In addition, emotionally a separated man can’t handle much pressure. They tend to be sporadic in their dating efforts. Romance is usually not a top priority even though they welcome female company and of course sex.

How to Know If He’s Not Ready?

Once you know what to look for if dating a separated man, it’s easy to spot a guy who is definitely NOT ready for the kind of love you want. He might say variations for the following, so listen closely when you first meet a new guy:

“I’m not looking for anything serious, but I’m happy to get to know you and see where things go.”

“I need space, but we can get to know each other and see what happens.”

“I just got out of a relationship, but let’s get to know each other and see how things go.”

Turns out men who say this are being HONEST with you. Right up front they are telling you they don’t want a relationship, commitment or anything serious. They want something lose and commitment-free with no expectations.

If you can handle that, great! But, if deep down, you are hoping he’ll see how great things can be with you and change his mind, you are looking at disappointment and possible heartbreak.

Dating a Separated Man with Baggage

The truth is, dating a man who is still married will always be a problem. They have all kinds of baggage and no matter how great a guy he is, you can’t separate him from this baggage. Only HE can do this.

Until he’s ready to move on and make you a priority, he’ll be full of excuses. Maybe he feels too guilty to go through with the divorce, even though he promised and he’s close. Or he might want his freedom to do whatever he wants, whenever he wants including helping a friend, dating other women or watching football all weekend.

This can be a highly selfish time for a separated man and in truth he NEEDS this time for himself. No matter how much you like him or how much he claims to like you – he’s got family and emotional baggage you’ll have to put up with. And that will not be fun. Love is not enough to have a healthy relationship no matter how long you are willing to wait.

Dating a Separated Man Who Lives With His Wife

What could be worse than dating a separated man who is still at home living with his wife? Sometimes he feels too guilty to leave, he feels like she needs him, or he can’t afford to sell the house and move out. What a mess! How can this situation bring you anything but heartache?

I’ve heard crazy stories about men who agree to still go to family events with their wives or show a good front for business, regardless of being in a new relationship.

How Long Should You Be Patient Dating a Separated Man?

So, how long should you be patient with a separated man? Depends on how much of your life are you willing to put on hold or waste waiting for him? If his divorce is just a couple of months away from completion, well that might be worth it. However, if he…

• Hasn’t even started proceedings why wait for what could take years?
• Doesn’t keep his promises and often disappoints you, that will not suddenly improve
• Was super nice for a while, but that’s all changed, it won’t revert back to how things were
• Doesn’t have time for the relationship you want, that’s who he is, and it won’t change
• Has a million excuses why he can’t see you, things won’t get better in the future
• Loves you and you love him, but this doesn’t make you happy, it won’t change!

The Bottom Line

Can dating a separated man work out? Sure, on super rare occasions a man will finish his divorce, feel ready for a relationship and commit to you for the kind of romantic partnership you want.

However, playing the lottery makes more sense since the odds of winning are better. Please don’t think YOU will be the EXCEPTION. I know so many women who wasted the best years of their life dating a separated man who promised to get divorced.

Your separated guy is NOT the only one for you no matter how it seems. And if you are just starting to date, please exclude separated men from your list of potential partners. Eliminate the drama and pain. Why even get started when you know this situation is 99.9% sure to be a tear-jerker?

Stop being patient and understanding and instead, go after what you want! Move on from men who can’t love you the way you want and find a new man who is ready for the healthy relationship you dream of and deserve.

Curious about other big dating mistakes that can ruin your chances for love? Get my free book 7 Dire Dating Mistakes

Looking for signs he likes you after the first date? Here are five things to watch for to know if you can expect to see him again.

How to Tell If a First Date Went Well

Finally, you’re on a date with a man you like! Even better, you get the distinct feeling he likes you too. But, how can you know for sure? What are the signs he likes you after the first date?

There are plenty of people who offer dating advice on this subject. I have seen a lot that in this expert’s opinion, does not hold water. The most common things are the ones that might just fool you. And that could be what your date had in mind to get you into the sack quickly.

Don’t Be Fooled By Sweet Talk

There are a few telltale signs that a guy is into you. However, there are others that sound good, yet don’t really mean much. For example, if he says he hasn’t met a woman like you in a long time, no question that’s a nice compliment. But, it could have absolutely no meaning beyond flattery.

Don’t be fooled if your date says, “I’ll call you” at the end of the night. Many men feel compelled to say this because they don’t know another way to end the date. Confusing as this might be, don’t put stock in this phrase since it’s actually most often a sign that he WON’T call.

Another comment that gives you a false sense of security that a man is into you, is if he talks about future plans. Future fantasizing can be fun for a man who is a romantic at heart. The proof is in the pudding though – men who wax on about all the things you could do together rarely follow through.

Seduction vs. Genuine Interest

Some men skilled in the art of seduction will share a good deal of personal information, hoping you’ll feel safe with him as a result. Women often tell me how a date revealed intimate details about his life and they thought this was a good sign. Why would a man do this if he didn’t feel really comfortable?

It’s an old trick and often works too. A man will draw you in with his story to gain sympathy and hope you’ll let down your guard. Then he can swoop in, so he can get you into bed that night. Many women throw caution to the wind with a man like this as they get swept off their feet. Don’t be fooled by this technique.

Signs He Likes You After The First Date

So, what are the things to watch for so know you’ll see him again? Here are the five that I trust as positive indicators he wants more of you.

1. Calls the Next Day to Say He Had a Good Time

If your date picks up the phone to tell you he had a good time, this is a strong signal you will see him again. Texting is easy and lazy. He could text you and then 10 more women. But, he’s not likely to CALL 10 women. Not at all.

So, if he calls and chats with you the day after your first date, you may have him on the hook girlfriend.

2. Strong Eye Contact

If your date gazes into your eyes for a good part of your time together, he may be signaling serious interest. Consistent eye contact shows his comfort with you and a desire to know more. Sometimes this might border on staring, so don’t be too surprised, but it’s not a bad thing. (Unless he’s staring at body parts and not into your eyes.)

And if you happen to notice that his pupils are dilated, it can be a biological response pointing to deep attraction (or it’s too dark in the room – haha!)

3. He Leans Towards You

When a man is genuinely interested n what you have to say, he LEANS IN to be sure he can hear you. This is typical body language that has been proved through tons of social research and you can bank on it.

When a person is fully engaged in the conversation, they want to get closer. Bingo – another of the signs he likes you after the first date.

4. Laughs a Lot

If you are truly building rapport, he’ll laugh easily and smile a lot. This might seem like a no brainer, but you’d be surprised. Sometimes your date will smile some of the time but look off into space, around the room or down at the table if he’s not that comfortable.

When you’re engaged in a conversation and things are going well, there will be a good dose of laughter and a smile on his face for the majority of the time.

5. Asks for Another Date

Yup, one of the surefire signs he likes you after the first date is that he asks for a second date while he’s still with you! He might say he wants to see you again or my personal favorite, asks when you are free.

My husband asked me at the end of our first date if he could see me again when he walked me to my car. Of course I said, “Yes!” He gave me a quick kiss and started to walk away to his car across the parking lot.

Then much to my surprise and delight, he turned back and ask, “Well when are you available?” It still makes my heart go pitter-patter.

This is the strongest of the signs he likes you after the first date. Nothing like knowing you’ve got a second date lined up to feel like you are on your way to getting to know him.

Your Next Move

Now that you know the five signs he likes you after the first date, what should you do next? Absolutely NOTHING! That’s right. Leave the ball in his court and follow his lead. Let him call you and suggest a date.

Don’t feel tempted based on your good rapport to check in, reach out, text about your day or call him. Let him do all that which is the only way you’ll ever know if his interest is building or has dissipated.

When you let a man lead during the initial dating phase, you don’t risk crowding him, pushing him beyond his comfort zone, invading his privacy, rushing him and most importantly turning him off. Read this post for more about letting the man lead.

If you want more insights into understanding men and dating, get my Free book 7 Dire Dating Mistakes That Ruin Your Chances for Love

Asking yourself why doesn’t he like you back? If it’s been a while since you last dated, you might not realize the 11 reasons why you simply aren’t a good match. Read on to find out what is preventing him from liking you and why you need to move on.

Does He Like Me?

When you start seeing someone new, waiting to find out if he likes you back can be so difficult. The same is true for just having a crush or meeting a man once and wanting more. it takes two to tango, so you NEED to know if he’s interested.

And when it becomes obvious that he’s not interested, the painful questions begin. First you want to know why doesn’t he like you back? You’re attractive, smart, fairly fit, easy to talk to, so what gives? What could he possibly want that you don’t have?

You might never discover exactly why you weren’t the one for him, but I can give you 11 reasons why he might have chosen to keep looking. Some are about him and some are about you and how you interact with him right from the start.

1.You’re Not His Type

People look for different qualities in a date. That’s why it stands to reason you won’t be the woman for every man – in the same way all men aren’t right for you. You get that right? Sometimes you’re just not a good fit and there’s nothing you can do about it.

2. You Make It Too Easy

I’m sure you’ve heard about playing hard to get. There’s definitely truth to this strategy with men. I’m not saying you need to be impossible to get together with – that can turn a man off fast. But a little resistance makes you a challenge and interesting.

And that’s why when you make things too easy for him it’s a turn off. Maybe this will help you understand this. Most women complain about men who are too nice. You’ve probably met a man like this yourself. And his over-eagerness to please turns you off. He’s too easy so there’s no mystery if he likes you, no excitement and no sexual chemistry.

So, when you change plans at the very beginning of dating to make yourself available or let him know any day of the week is free for him, what’s the fun of that? It appears you have nothing else going on in your life and you end up looking DESPERATE.

Don’t serve yourself up to him on a silver platter making it too easy. Offer one or two nights you are free and let him make other suggestions if those don’t work with his calendar.

3. He Has Unreasonable Standards

Anyone can be guilty of this. When your standards are too high, you could easily end up single. That goes for men as well who might not be realistic with the qualities they seek. For all you know, the man you met, dated or want to meet is ridiculous with his demands for the right woman.

So, if he passes you by thinking the perfect woman will be next, it’s his loss. If you’re wondering why doesn’t he like you back, this is a man not to bother with.

4. You Got Friend Zoned

It happens for a variety of reasons – sometimes you end up in the friend zone. Perhaps you sound too much like one of the guys. Perhaps you seem competitive with him. Or maybe you remind him of someone else.

How you end up there doesn’t matter as much as the fact that you’re not going to get out of the friend zone and will need to move on. When asking why doesn’t he like you back, appealing to him only at the friend level is a problem.

5. He’s Not Sexually Attracted

Either a man finds you sexually attractive or he doesn’t. There are only two choices which means if it turns out he doesn’t find you attractive, there’s not one darn ting you can do about. As the Millionaire Matchmaker, Patti Stanger says, “The penis does the picking.’

With women, we’re different. With time, attraction can grow as a man does something sweet or endearing or he just treats you so well you can’t help but feel his magnetic charm affecting you. I’ve seen this happen over and over again.

One of my clients wanted nothing to do with bald men. Then we talked about it, she went out with a bald guy and fell in love! He had so many of the qualities she wanted she found a way to see past his lack of hair to see the amazing gentleman he really was. But, sorry, this doesn’t work with men.

6. He’s Not Ready

Sometimes a man is just not ready for anything serious. He can sense you are, or he listens when you tell him, so he figures you won’t be open to something casual. Honestly, this is for the better. The last thing you want to do is date a man, fall in love hoping he’ll change and want a serious relationship. Why – because that doesn’t happen.

If a man comes right out and tells you, “I’m not looking for anything serious” or “I need my space but am willing to get to know you,” these are strong signals he doesn’t want a relationship. As a woman who values herself, it’s up to you to believe his honesty, know you can change him and move on. Women who don’t do this are left confused about why doesn’t he like you back.

7. You’re Not Compatible

You might meet a man you’re into, but he sees something in you right away that tips him off how you’re not compatible. A quality man is not going to hang around and waste your time or his. He’ll just move and  not call again.

This can be true even if it seems you both hit it off. Or he might text you for a while because you’re fun and have a quick wit. But, he’ll honor his assessment of you and not ask you out again.

8. He’s Into Another Woman

When you are using online dating sites and the apps, you are both meeting and dating several candidates at the same time This is to be expected and appropriate. The relationship begins once he asks if you want to be exclusive or you bring it up and he agrees.

That’s why it’s possible he’s already met a woman he likes, but is still checking out other options.  Women do the same thing right? This is normal for the early stages of dating and certainly explains the question, “Why doesn’t he like you back?”

9. You’re Trying Too Hard

Maybe you’re tired of being alone and dating and you just want to find the right guy already! Sometimes, being over anxious does come across as trying too hard. It’s very bit as unappealing as making things too easy for him.

Trying too hard can include too much eye contact on a date, too much head-bobbing agreement, or laughing too hard at his jokes. Other possibilities are texting too much, asking him to call you, or coming up with numerous suggestions on what you can do together. This is also similar to coming on too strong.

The best strategy is to simply relax and see what happens. Don’t push it. Hang back to see what he does to win you over and spend time with you. That’s how you know he’s interested – not from his texts or what he says.

10. You’re Divergent on Religion and Politics

Right now in the USA, our politics are highly polarized. This is why I strong urge you not to discuss politics at all. You can post your preferences in your profile – that’s the perfect way to let someone know which side you are on.

However, even if you are on the same side, talking about politics is NOT romantic. The same thing is true about religion. If you’re wondering why doesn’t he like you back after discussing either topic, now you know why you didn’t get a second date – or maybe a first!

11. You’re Too Sexy

There are men today who are still conservative and want a “good woman”. So, if you happen to be a sexy babe and dress less conservatively, you might turn off a small segment of single males. This is especially true for religious men or men who were brought up with strong religious ties, even if they no longer participate.

You could tone down your style. Or you could admit that you can’t appeal to everyone and be who you are! If you chase away a religious man because of your cleavage or tight pants, then he wasn’t the right man for you any way.

Signs He Doesn’t Like You Back

And there you have it – 11 startling, yet common answers to the question, “Why doesn’t he like you back?” The best thing you can do when looking for the right man for lasting love is not get hung up on some guy you’ve just talked or texted with, or only had a handful of dates. Learn how to let it go and stop driving yourself crazy.

The truth is even if you asked him directly, he wouldn’t tell you the truth. And he might not even be able to articulate why you weren’t the one for him. There’s no way to change this fact so drop it. Then move on and meet some new men so you CAN find the right one. He’s out there if you keep your eyes, mind and heart open.

In case you are now wondering how to know if he does like you, this post will spell it out.

For more info on possible dating mistakes you might be making, get a copy of my Free book 7 Dire Dating Mistakes that Ruin Your Chances for Love

What personality traits and qualities do you look for in a man? Check out these top 10 characteristics and if your man has them, hold on tight!

Characteristics of a Quality Man

There are some things about a good man that all women want. And a few become more desirable with age as we grow wiser and learn from our relationship mistakes. Most of these qualities are basic and might not surprise you. But, this list is a good reminder of the most important aspects to look for in the men you meet if you are dating to find lasting love.

1. He’s Loyal

Whether you require loyalty, faithfulness, or monogamy, the theme here is the same. Like all women, you want a man you can trust and one who is not likely to cheat. You might also prefer a man whose loyal extends to his employer, family and friends as well. Men’s Health Magazine conducted a survey of 1,000 American women and this was their #1 requirement for a good partner.

2. He’s Got a Sense of Humor

Almost all women want a man who can make them laugh. The ability to take what life gives you with a sense of humor can be a game changer. Everyone goes through ups and downs, so if your man can easily bring a smile to your face, that is a major plus. levity lightens the load for sure.

3. He’s Confident

If your man is comfortable in his own skin and knows he can make things happen, that confidence is highly appealing. One of the most valued personality traits, it feels so good to be with someone who doesn’t spin their wheels doubting what is possible. When your man feels good about himself, he’s more positive, presents himself well with new people and is likely more accepting of others versus critical.

4. He’s Smart

Having a high IQ and strong intelligence makes a difference to most single gals looking for a life partner. You figure a smart man will be a better earner, has more opportunities and will be better able to keep up with you! In case you’re hoping to start a family, you’re also looking for good genes.

5. He’s Kind

Is your man a nice guy? As far as personality traits go, kindness stands out for the majority of women. How can you tell if a man is nice right away? Watch how he treats the waitstaff in a restaurant. You can also gauge a man’s kindness on how he interacts with animals, children and the elderly.  A man who has a caring nature will make life together far more enjoyable.

6. He’s Generous

There are many types of generosity women look for as the sign of a good man. This is not only about his spending habits, but also how willing he is to share his time and heart with you. A guy with a generous spirit gives of himself freely and willingly helps you and others when asked. And this brings out your own generosity as well.

7. He’s Reliable

Many women mention how much a man’s reliability means to them. Someone you can count on. His word is gold and he follows through on his promises. This personality trait builds trust between two people because you know what you are getting into with him. What you see is what you get – if he says he’ll do something, he does.

8. He Has Similar Values

This isn’t exactly about personality traits, but it is part of his character that matters deeply. When you share the same values about life and relationships, you can usually understand and respect each other. Having the same basic moral integrity enhances the bond because there won’t likely be any big shockers regarding how he looks at the world.

9. He’s Supportive

A man who is supportive has a lot to offer as a life partner. When you are seeking lasting love, a supportive man stands out. He’ll listen to what you have to say, offer emotional support and have your back. Personality traits like this one relate to others as well such as reliability.

10. He’s Flexible

Flexibility can make your relationship so much easier. Everything doesn’t happen as we plan, so a man’s ability to roll with what is happening is essential. You know he can compromise if needed when the two of you have different needs or opinions on something. Both people need to bend in order to maintain respect for each other during arguments.

Important Personality Traits in a Man

That’s the list of the top 10 personality traits women seek in a quality man. If you’re seeing someone currently, how did he stack up? I hope he did well!

If you are looking for love with the right man, print out this list and keep it handy. As you meet a new guy see how he measures up. Keep these personality traits in mind as you continue dating.

If a man starts to come up short on more than two or more of these qualities, take note. It might be time to re-evaluate his true potential as a life partner. Breaking up after a few weeks is so much easier than after months…or years.

Don’t wobble or settle when it comes to these most basic character requirements. If you aren’t seeing this qualities in the man you are dating move on now. You deserve to be with a really good man, so your relationship can grow and blossom in a lasting and healthy love.

Ready to better understand men and see through his mixed signals? Get my Free book His Mixed Signals Are Driving Me Crazy.

Seeing signs he likes you but doesn’t want a relationship? It can be so confusing! Here’s how to know for sure if the man you’re dating is wasting your time or truly interested.

Whether you’re intuitive or not, women always wish they could read a man’s mind. The reason? Because we need to know DOES HE LIKE ME OR NOT? And we spend a LOT of time trying to figure this out.

You watch all the signs and read into situations to interpret what you think they mean. Wracking your brain, you read a bunch of articles on the web. Feeling frustrated and at your wit’s end, you drive yourself (and potentially your friends too) CRAZY!

But here’s what you really need to know. You don’t need to be a mind reader to discover if he’s serious about you. Instead, understanding where he stands is not about what he THINKS as much as WHAT HE DOES. For the most part, a man’s actions tell you everything you really need to know.

When A Man Likes You But, Doesn’t Want A Relationship

I’ve uncovered 17 signs he likes you but doesn’t want a relationship and I’m sure there are even more. If you read through these, you’ll know what to look for or how to read the signs he is sending. So, read through the list and if you have more than one of these situations going on, it’s time to get real about this guy and realize he’s probably not “The One” for you.

1.He Texts But Doesn’t Ask You Out

Some men love to text or they call and talk on the phone for hours. Yet, they never get around to asking you out. Or they go on one or two dates then revert to the phone.

This type of thing is usually a sign that a man wants attention and maybe emotional support, but not the responsibility or expectations that come from a true relationship. He’ll take what he can get from you but never give you what you need. The solution – STOP COMMUNICATING.

2. He Asks You Out But Leaves It Vague

After some texting or talking, he finishes up with, “Let’s get together this weekend.” But he doesn’t nail down a plan. What is this about? He might enjoy texting or talking with you but doesn’t want or need anything more from you. Or he’s stringing you along while he’s waiting to see who else might be free before committing to a date.

3. He Talks About The Future But Puts Off Plans

Some guys love to talk about the future. They bring it up even if you don’t which is why you think it has MEANING. Truth is, future talk means nothing and could just be his fantasy. Or the idea feels good in the moment. You know this because he doesn’t follow through with plans. He might actually says he can’t make plans now because he’s too busy or has things to straighten out first.

How To Tell He Likes You But Doesn’t Want a Relationship

4. He Doesn’t Introduce You To Friends Or Family

When a man is serious about you, he will slowly introduce you to some of his friends and then his family. It could take longer for family – maybe up to three months. (For children it might take up to 6 months which is perfectly acceptable.) Usually within the first two months he will introduce you to SOMEONE. So, if he’s keeping you a secret and not getting you to meet his peeps, he doesn’t want a real relationship.

5. He Won’t Define The Relationship

If you’ve been seeing a man longer than three months and he refuses to define the relationship, that is NOT a good sign. A man who is serious wants to claim you as his and give you the “Girlfriend” title. This is one of those telltale signs he likes you but doesn’t want a relationship.

6. He Disappears But Comes Back

This guy is either texting like crazy or completely silent. He shows up, interacts with you and maybe goes on a date or two, and then he’s gone again. What is up with that? He may have intimacy issues, be dating other women or doesn’t want anything serious to develop. A man who is on and off again is NOT the right man because you need consistency for a healthy, lasting love.

Signs He Doesn’t Care Enough

7. He’s Too Busy To See You

Perhaps he says he likes you and you are the one for him or maybe he’s not saying anything except that he’s too busy to see you. He can’t make plans right now because of his job, his boss, his crazy ex, his family, etc. If he puts you off that’s a sign he doesn’t want a relationship with you.

8. He’s Friendly When You Bump Into You

This guy is SO happy to see you when he bumps into you at a party or around town. He sticks by your side as if he really likes you. So, you would think he’d contact you after. But nope, he doesn’t connect.

This is extremely confusing because his actions when he’s sees you are different than when he’s out of touch. Just keep in mind that a man who does nothing to see you does NOT want a relationship with YOU.

9. He Won’t Make It Official

You’ve been seeing this man for several months but, he won’t make it official. He prefers to just go along as things are and doesn’t want to rock the boat. It’s good the way it is right? Not if he’s serious about you. That’s a sure sign he doesn’t like you enough to take things to the next level.

If A Guy Says He Likes You But Doesn’t Want a Relationship

10. He Says He Misses You But Does Nothing To See You

Some guys just know what to say to keep you hanging on and this is a perfect example. If he says he misses you but, makes no attempts to see you, it’s complete bullsh*t. Don’t fall for this and believe his empty words. If he really meant it, he’d do what it takes to spend time with you. No excuses!

11. He Refuses To Be Exclusive Or Take Down His Profile

Pay attention to this – it’s one of the biggest signs he likes you but doesn’t want a relationship. When a man is unwilling to take down his profile for any reason, he’s letting you know he’s not going to be exclusive. This is a man who still wants to play the field and is not interested in monogamy. The same thing goes for a man who is unwilling to agree to exclusivity.

12. He Said Doesn’t Want A Relationship

A lot of men will often come right out and TELL you they don’t want a relationship or aren’t looking for anything serious. When a man says either one of these phrases, BELIEVE HIM! Many women tend to ignore this because he couples this comment with, “But I’d like to get to know you and see where it goes.” That’s the sign of a man who is non-committal and just wants something casual.

More Signs He Doesn’t Want A Relationship

13. He Has Problems To Work Out

You might meet a great guy who has so many of the qualities you want. Too bad he has problems that are getting in the way. He’s unemployed or has a difficult boss and has to work all the time. He’s got a crazy ex and has to carefully manage her and the kids. Perhaps he has health issues that he blames for not being able to get together.

Whatever his problems are, they become your problems if you let them. Yet, last time I checked, you didn’t need more problems! If you meet a guy who is wonderful, but he has issues dragging him down, he’s not ready for a relationship with you. Let go and move on if you want a good relationship. This is not the same as if you were in love for years and a problem cropped up – that’s completely different.

14. He Cancels Frequently

The guy you are seeing talks a good came and makes plans, but often cancels. Keep in mind it’s not the making of the plan that counts, it’s the follow through. Whether he means well or not, no one cancels that often without it being some kind of game. Move on.

15. He Avoids Talking Things Over With You

An issue crops up with the man you’re dating. You try to talk about it and let him know how you feel but he will not discuss it. That’s one of the sign he likes you but doesn’t want a relationship. You cannot maintain a healthy relationship if you cannot communicate or talk things through.

This is how you get stuck with an impossible man where everything is his way or the highway. Don’t let it happen to you. If he’s unwilling to talk or inflexible, walk away and find a better man who is relationship-oriented

16. You Don’t Go On Real Dates

This man seems sweet but for a number of reasons you never go on real date. He’s happy to hang out with you at your place. He might bring over a pizza or take out. He’ll watch a movie or sit by the fire – it’s all very romantic.

The problem is, you never go out or on a real date. He doesn’t take you to dinner like most men. He doesn’t want to be out in public with you. Ahhh, there’s one of the biggest signs he likes you but doesn’t want a relationship. That’s because he’s already in one! My bet is this guy is cheating on a woman and CAN’T be seen with you or he’ll get caught. Run don’t walk away from this guy no matter how much you love him.

17. He’s Not Curious About You Or Your Life

Last of the 17 signs he likes you but doesn’t want a relationship, is that he’s not at all curious about your life. He doesn’t ask many questions. He doesn’t remember some big event in your life and want to know how it went.

He’s not boring, it’s just that his main interest is himself. So, if you’re happy with everything being about him and being in a one-way relationship with a narcissist, that’s your choice. My dating advice is to dump him and find a better man for a loving relationship that works for you both.

Signs He Likes You But Doesn’t Want A Relationship

Now that you know what to look for regarding how he doesn’t want relationship, let me give you a super quick run-down on the signs he DOES want  a relationship.

• He takes you on a real date at least once a week
• He communicates in between, texting and at least one phone call
• After 4-6 weeks he starts introducing you to his buddies and siblings
• Within three months you go on a weekend away
• Slowly, he starts to discuss his life decisions with you
• Your man asks how you are and is very interested in your happiness and life
• You love how he does nice things for you
• He expresses how he feels although it might take time to say the word LOVE
• You can count on him
• He keeps his promises
• You trust him
• You feel comfortable with him and can be yourself
• Your friends like him
• He accepts you for who you are and is proud to be with you and show you off
• Thankfully, he’s happy to help when you ask
• He agrees to or asks you to be in an exclusive relationship

Wishing you love!

Want more smart advice to find love faster? Get a copy of my book MANifesting Mr. Right today!

Asking yourself is he really too busy or just not interested in me? That’s a clear sign and you can find out what this hurtful and confusing behavior means in this blog post.

He’s Always Busy With Work

“Dear Love Coach Ronnie,

I always seem to meet guys that play the “I’m busy” card before they are will to hang out in person more than once or twice. And that makes me curious – is he really too busy or just not interested? Recently, I met a guy online and we met face-to-face after a week of chatting. We had a great time and texted every day after.

We met a 2nd time a week later. He said he had a great time and suggested that we meet again. After the second date, he went out of town to visit family for the weekend, then he would suggest plans, but no follow through. His work schedule this past month was weekends, but is off in the middle of the week. The texts got shorter, and didn’t respond to my texts.

I finally confronted him and he said, “It’s not the best time as I’m busy with work and too tired to invest in someone after work.” I told him I knew that was not 100% true, and he said their was no one else. Yet, he’s active on Bumble all day.

He’s Too Busy To Make Time For Me

He then added I was “forcing it” which I don’t entirely believe. I texted minimally and I don’t understand the issue in texting once a day since we are on opposite work schedules.

I feel like I am in constant competition with the other females online. I can never spend time with someone more than once or twice because I feel like I’m losing to the other females online … They get more conversation while men claim they are “too busy” to text me or see me again in person.

Please help me understand what this is about.

With Gratitude,
Amy”

Is He Really Busy Or Avoiding Me?

Dear Amy,

So you feel there are too many competitors – other women who somehow swoop in and take over your chance with a man? I can see how that would make you feel badly and wonder why they have better luck.

Let me start by saying I see two very different reasons why you might be having this problem. One is a mindset issue that can sabotage your dating efforts from the inside. The second is a practical dating error which I will explain below as well.

Feeling Competitive Sabotages Dating

Thinking that you can’t compete puts you immediately at a disadvantage – from a MINDSET perspective. Who are thee mysterious women getting the attention of the men you are dating?

Yes there are plenty of other women out there. But, you want to see yourself as a unique and truly wonderful woman who is a great catch. The RIGHT MAN will see who you are and be drawn to you. So, any man who seems interested at first but pulls away is actually disqualifying himself as the RIGHT man.

The point of dating is get to know a guy to see if he has genuine potential for long term love. The men you are meeting clearly do not have what it takes. They have a couple of dates and move on. Perhaps they aren’t ready for the real thing or you aren’t the right woman for them. That doesn’t mean you aren’t a great catch. You ARE for the right man.

How Confident Women Handle Competition

A confident woman who feels good about herself and understands how this works, knows the right man is still out there. She doesn’t worry about other women because she knows she’s a quality catch. So, she shakes off a man’s brush off and moves on to continue the search for “The One”.

However when you focus on how other women are getting the men and you are not, you chip away at your self-esteem. Dating can be brutal on your confidence if you take this personally. The more you focus on how other women are winning out over you, the more this will be true.

The problem is that’s a mindset that drags you down vs. builds you up.

I work with my private clients to build strong self-esteem every day. Feeling good about yourself is essential to attracting a quality man. So my dating advice here is to do what you can to build up more confidence about who you are as a woman.

Review Your Dating Skills

Now let’s take a look at the more practical aspect of this dating problem. When man after man doesn’t want to have more than one or two dates with you, that’s a sign for sure. It’s a sign to look at your dating skills to discover if you might be doing anything that chases them away.

This last man said you were “forcing it”. But you disagree with him. I think it’s worth looking at more deeply. What did he mean by “forcing it”? As a dating coach for 16 years, I think he’s pointing to your daily texting.

Stop Texting Him Daily

You said it doesn’t seem like a big deal to stay in touch daily with a man who has a busy schedule. BUT IT IS. The reason men don’t like this is because you are assuming you have a right to be part of his daily life.  So, as it turns out, you are INVADING HIS SPACE which is what he means by “forcing it”.

This idea of daily texting would make more sense if you’ve had six dates or more. But, you are just starting to get to know a man when you’ve only had a date or two. Daily contact is a PRIVILEGE you have not yet been awarded.

The flip side of this is also true. Plenty of men text all the time and never ask for a date. But that is his choice and you get to choose to respond or not. As the woman you need to decide if you want to invest in texting a man for days, weeks and months without ever meeting.

Usually the man hasn’t earned the right to daily contact with you either. He hasn’t qualified himself as worthy of taking up your time because he’s made no effort to see you.

Yet, women take his texting as a sign a man is really interested which sadly IT”S NOT.  They text away, building a virtual relationship and thinking they have a strong connection. Without dates in real life, there is nothing real about it.

Dating Is Like Playing Chess

Dating requires strategy because it’s like playing chess. You can’t get around this game. It’s just how it is so learn to accept it and how to play to win. Women who fight this tend to stay single.

I know you don’t want to play games, but this isn’t about manipulation or being underhanded. It’s similar to office politics. You can’t get around that either – you have to learn to deal with it. These are the facts of life.

This is why I strongly urge women NOT to initiate anything for at least 4-6 dates to gauge his real interest. Does he make time to see you? Reach out to get to know you and build a connection? If you do this for him and initiate to stay in touch, you are shooting yourself in the foot for two reasons.

1. You can’t judge his interest if you don’t wait to see what he would do without you nudging him
2. You invade his space, eliminating all sexual tension and making yourself too available

Men still like a bit of mystery and a chase. Most men want dating you to be his idea. You can flirt and be friendly, but do not pursue. You can ask a guy out once but never more or he could take advantage of you or lose interest because he KNOWS you like him more than he likes you. See how that works? You risk turning men off when you initiate.

Is He Really Too Busy Or Just Not Interested?

On a rare occasion a man who says he’s busy actually is. And that can be a sign he’s not making your relationship a priority. You get to decide if being second fiddle to his work or whatever is keeping him busy is OK with you.

Most often this is “Man Speake” meaning, “I’m not just not interested enough”. This is how he disqualifies himself as the right man for you. The right man would never put you off. He’d want to spend time with you and get to know you better.

Date More Than One Man at a Time

Now for some serious strategy to help you get past this focus on daily texting before you are in a relationship. Let me ask you a question…Do you date only one man at a time to see where it goes? That’s the problem!

When you are still dating around to see if you can find a man you click with, you have no way to know who will work out. You could have a great first date and never hear from the guy again. Happens all the time. You might have a few dates and then he ghosts.

The Solution

Want to know the best solution for your question is he really too busy or just not interested? Date several men who have potential at the same time. Don’t worry, this rarely gets to be a problem because so many drift off. And some never even get around to asking you out.

Dating more than one man at a time KEEPS YOU FROM OVER-FOCUSING ON ONE GUY before you know he is worthy of that much attention. You won’t get attached, hang on to his every text or wait around for him because you’ll be BUSY TOO.

So there you have it – tons of insight about your question – is he really too busy or just not interested? He might be busy, but chances are he doesn’t care enough about you or dating right now to make him worth your time.

The most important piece here however, is about your mindset. Building up your confidence is ESSENTIAL so that you can handle rejection better and definitely avoid getting prematurely attached to a man who will never deliver as your boyfriend.

Wishing you love,

If you want to learn how to build confidence which by the way men find very appealing in a woman, why not schedule a free session to talk about how dating coaching might help you find the love you want faster.

Did he ever like me? Did he ever care? These are difficult questions often asked by women tempted by long distance relationships. Let me shed some light to help you understand what happens.

I Thought He Cared About Me

“Dear Love Coach Ronnie,

I met a guy last year online, but we never met. We then kept in touch sporadically, and then I knew at end January I would be in his town in July (US/UK) When I told him that, things escalated and he came to visit. We had spoken every day prior to his visit which was 8 weeks.

He does have a lot going on in his life right now. Newly divorced because his wife cheated on him, his job is not 100% settled and he is moving apartments.

His visit was wonderful (we did get intimate). But, he said, “My life is really complicated and this is complicated, and I  cannot adding anything else” when he was here for only 2 of the 4 days. He seemed very attracted to me and was very affectionate.In his thank you text he said I made the visit “outstanding and very very special” and he was surprised how well we got along.

He texted once after he got back (pretty coldly) and I responded, and he had disappeared except for liking one of my Instagram posts.

Why was he so nice? Did he ever like me? Did I scare him away somehow? Why does he not even want to be friends? I have not reached out, but I feel really sad. I also do not plan to when I am there in a few months.

Thanks for your help,
So Sad in Seaside

Did He Ever Care?

Dear Sad,

Long distance relationships have many pitfalls and unfortunately you just experienced several at the same time. Sorry to hear about your broken heart and how sad you feel.

Let me answer your main question first – did he ever like me? Yes, I’m sure he did like you and care. Why would he fly to see you if he couldn’t stand you? And I”m sure he enjoyed your company. However, that is NOT enough to sustain lasting love, never mind a long distance relationship.

What do I mean? There are so many factors in this situation that lead to this disappointing ending.

Don’t Date Recently Divorced Men

He got divorced due to his wife being unfaithful. Ouch! Cheating leaves deep wounds. So, this guy needs healing. He wants to feel good about himself again and reassure himself that he’s still got game with women.

Then you two connect. You tell him you will be near him in July which showed real interest so, he probably thought how fun and EASY it would be to visit you. Anyone with a drop of romance can relate to this idea.

That means you were like a special salve to mend his broken heart. I’m sure he didn’t mean to break your heart in the process. On the other hand he was thinking only of himself, not you.

Romantic Flings

Women aren’t the only ones who enjoy romance. And what is more fun that a quick vacation for a romantic fling? Sometimes people meet at a vacation destination or they visit each other. Either way, when a long-distance guy comes to visit, this is not a “lock” that he’s serious about you.

Keep in mind a romantic fling can absolutely recharge your love life. If you’ve been without love for a long time, a fling can be a great wake up call to renew desire and motivate you to start mingling. Just don’t count on it turning into lasting love.

Why Was He So Nice?

Why wouldn’t he be nice? He wanted to enjoy himself and your company and being nice made the whole visit pleasant. I bet it was outstanding and just what his ego and heart needed. Even if he knew he’d never see you again, he probably is a nice guy. This was selfish, using you to recover from his wife’s cheating and pump up his confidence that he’s still “got it” with women.

Understanding Men and “Man Speake”

When a man says, “My life is really complicated…” what he’s really saying is I can’t be in a relationship right now. He just got divorced, his job is unstable and he’s in the middle of moving. When a man is in transition or his life is totally up in the air, he can’t think long-term.

Most guys need solid ground and stability before looking for a serious relationship. This stems from their drive to be a good provider which is coded into their DNA. Next time you are getting to know a new guy and he tells you things that indicate his life is unsettled, WALK AWAY. No matter how great a guy he is, he is not relationship ready.

Don’t hang out to see what happens and help him heal and regain stability. He might accept your help, but 99% of men then leave once they feel better to find a new woman. Why? Because looking at you reminds them of when they were weak so, they move on.

Long Distance Relationships Rarely Work

If I could get one message out to every single woman, I would say, don’t get sucked into long distance relationships. They almost never work! There is way too much stress related to not being able to see each other and local temptations. It’s so easy to have countless reasons why you just can’t get together.

If the distance is temporary (someone moves away for six months with plans to return), that’s a different story. However, if you meet a guy online from several states away or in another country, your love is DOOMED. RESIST LDRs!

Did He Ever Like Me?

I think this guy did like you but, now you can see that is not the right question. Instead what you want to think about before getting involved is:

• Does he have potential for lasting love?
• Is his life stable?
• Was he divorced at least one year ago?
• Did he said he doesn’t want anything serious, isn’t looking for a relationship, is too busy, his life is complicated, his ex is crazy, etc.

These are all Big Red Flags that you want to pay attention to and when they start to add up, go look for a better candidate.

Date with Your Head and Heart

This is how you date smart – by using your head versus relying on your heart and what FEELS good. That works in the movies, not in real life. In real life, your heart alone will get you into trouble. Be true to yourself and your desire for lasting love and don’t get side-tracked by those romantic long distance dreams.

Wishing you love,

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