Are You Committed or Interested in Finding Love?

Finding Love Out on a Limb

As a dating coach, I sometimes get coaching from other coaches. I learn a lot that way. And one thing I learned recently that made a big impression is from Fabienne Fredrickson. She pointed out what I can now see as a glaring truth. I hope you see it this way too. No matter how you apply this concept – from dating, to business, to weight loss, to whatever goal you have, it seems to be true.

Here is what she said with my paraphrasing:

When you are committed to your goal, you do whatever it takes to make it happen. However, when you are interested in your goal, you do whatever is convenient.

Wow, I’m not sure what you think about that, but I am so struck by its truth. Let me explain how this applies to dating as your dating coach for women over 40. When you are committed, you will push yourself. You will try new ways to meet men. You will go to new groups. You will get out there on a regular basis to mingle with the opposite sex.

On the other hand, when you are interested in finding love, you will do what is convenient. So if you are tired, you won’t keep your commitment to go out. You won’t stretch past your comfort zone to try new things. You’ll allow yourself to have excuses why you can’t follow through or don’t really have to. And chances are strong that you will not find the love you want.

All goals that you want to manifest, require commitment to achieve them. That’s just the way life works. Dating and finding love are absolutely no different.

So which one are you? Committed to do whatever it takes to find love with an amazing man? Or are you interested and willing to do only what is convenient? What is comfortable and familiar?

Now, if what you are doing right now is working – that’s great! But if what you are doing currently is not producing the results you want, and you keep doing only that – what are the chances that it will suddenly work and bring you the love you want?

I’m not chastising you or giving you a hard time. I’m just hoping to shake things up for you. Because when you get committed and stretch to try new things – then you will do what it takes to make finding love a reality for yourself. And that is exactly what I want for you.

Love is not likely to be found in your comfort zone. It’s like Shirley MacClaine says – the sweetest fruit is out on a limb. Reach for it and enjoy it.

So to Fabienne and Shirley – thank you for pushing us, cheering us on and encouraging us to get committed to doing whatever it takes to get what we want.


Photo Credit: WhiteCat sg

Single for too long, Ronnie wanted to find love. So, she made a few tweaks and then dated 30 men in 15 months to meet her adorable husband Paul. Discovering the keys to midlife dating, she founded It’s Never Too Late for Love to help other smart, successful women find love too! Her mission is to share her proven dating advice  and keen insights about men with women everywhere who are serious about finding love with the right man. Ronnie Ann Ryan, MBA, CCC is a Certified Coach who has helped 1,000’s of midlife women with her Love & Dating Coach services. She’s been featured on BBC’s 5 Live Radio, NBC, ABC, and Fox News, NPR, eHarmony,,, Connecticut Magazine among others around the world. An established author, you can find her 6 books on Amazon.

1 thought on “Are You Committed or Interested in Finding Love?”

  1. Ronnie,

    Yes! This is such an important truth! It
    really strikes me, too. I think it should
    go on the refrigerator!

    Thanks for mentioning it. It’s true in so
    many areas of life.



Leave a Comment