Chances are strong after this virus is behind us, video chats as the first date will stick. It’s a fast and convenient way to check each other out before that actual first date.
So, how do you ensure you have the best video chat date possible? Here are my eight tips to win his heart and make the most of this new way to meet before you meet.
1. Act Like It’s a Real Date
Schedule a day and time for the call rather than leave it loose. Put it in your calendar. If he doesn’t show, then he might not be serious, might not be into you or dating, or perhaps something came up.
There’s no excuses for standing you up in person or video chat when he can text and tell you he can’t make it. That’s what a high caliber man does.
2. Create Atmosphere
Remember he can see you and whatever is behind you. If you want to impress a high quality guy, put away laundry and pick up the area that’s going to be seen.
Your home tells a man a lot about you, so take time to choose a nice venue for your call. He’ll see if you are neat or messy and get a sense for your style based on your decor.
It doesn’t matter if you chat from your kitchen, living room or den. But please, get out of bed for a man you don’t know! If you want to win his heart, that wouldn’t be the best first impression.
You can also create some atmosphere if you want to win his heart. For example, you might light a candle, display magazines or books, or have quiet music playing.
Where you live says a lot about you, which is why you want to think about this ahead of time.
3. Eliminate Distractions
If you are using your phone for the video call, then you won’t likely be looking at texts etc. However, if you’re on the computer or laptop, put your phone on vibrate and ignore it. Looking at your phone is rude on a first date. You can respond to whoever it is later.
Eliminate other distractions as well. Shut the TV off or don’t play music loudly so it interferes with clearly hearing each other. Keep your attention focused on each other for this first date if you want to win his heart.
4. Look Good
I’ve been reading about women who approach their first video date with a casual attitude. They mention how they wore no makeup, stayed in sweats and didn’t wash their hair.
You can laze around the house comfortably all you want during quarantine. But let me ask you this…would you conduct a job interview in sweats with dirty hair? Or hold a business meeting where you are in charge?
Maybe you would. However I don’t recommend it for business or dating.
The Real You
Some women say to me, “Well he might as well get to know the real me.” Interesting way of thinking and at some point he will get to know the real you.
However, the woman you are when you look great is ALSO the real you. The only difference is that’s your best self and he deserves to see that aspect of you! You want a high caliber man – step up girlfriend to win his heart.
I’m always fascinated by the idea of women wanting to “let it all hang out” and either he likes you that way or not. These are often the same women who complain that the guy made no effort at all.
Present yourself as the high quality woman you are, especially if you want to connect with and win over a high caliber man.
5. Enjoy a Beverage Together
Since this actually is a real date, enjoy a beverage with your video partner. Whether that’s a mixed drink, glass of wine or cup of tea, imbibe together. This will make the call seem more real and give you something else to talk about.
When you meet someone in person, you normally can draw upon your shared environment for easy conversation. You might talk about what you are drinking, the music, the decor, etc. On video you don’t share the environment, that’s why the drink can help.
You might pick a favorite, so you can say why that is or something unusual to stir up conversation. Make this fun!
6. Show Him Some Warmth
If you want to win him over, you want him to feel comfortable. I often talk about how the woman should think about the first date like she is a hostess in her own home throwing a party. Men choose women who make them FEEL good, so be a good hostess!
That means you are easy to talk to and easy to laugh. You smile often and show your appreciation for men. This is not fawning all over him or false. But it sure will help you win his heart. Be happy, positive, friendly and fun.
Please don’t complain about your life or dating. Many women are so busy working in their qualifying questions, they never even consider that their date is qualifying them too.
7. Keep It Light & Fun
You may be tempted to try to ask detailed questions of this new guy during your video chat. You’ve got a list of things to find out and figure why not do it right away, so you can decide if he’s worth your time or not?
That strategy will keep you from connecting and getting second dates. And that’s now how to win him over. Quizzing a man about why he got divorced, what he wants in a relationship and what his long-term goals are is NOT FUN for him.
I get that you want to know important details upfront. But is that worth the risk of having a good time and not getting a second date? No, that would be counterproductive for finding love!
Why Is This a Problem?
If you have some test a guy must pass, that is not welcoming, warm or entertaining. I guarantee a high caliber man will feel put off and lose interest. That’s no way to win his heart and there are plenty of other women to meet.
Plus, if you bring up his ex, it’s like she’s with you on this date. That’s not how to put him in a good mood or help him be curious about you! Don’t talk about your ex either or if you find dating difficult.
In fact, skip any problems you have and save that for another time. Let him see the good stuff first before you divulge other parts of you.
Collecting the data you seek on a new man with potential, is something you need to spread out over several conversations, vs. getting to all at once…if you want to see him a second time.
What Can You Talk About?
If you’re hoping to present your best self and win over a new guy, you want to stick to the fun topics. Good conversation includes vacations, hobbies, exercise, movies and TV, books, music and concerts, and how you spend your free time.
Most men are happy to talk about themselves and this allows you to see where his passions are. You’ll get to notice what lights him up, gets him excited and then figure out if that works for you.
8. Say Goodbye
Okay this is the hard part, but it’s such a smart dating strategy. Don’t let the video date drag on. Be the first one off and leave him wanting more! Allow him to wonder what you have to do or who else you might be chatting with.
If you want to win his heart and hear from him again, don’t over do the first date! This is such a faux pas and women make it all the time.
You think things are going really well and hate to end the date while you are still having fun. But that is the BEST time to end it.
Keep a man on his toes, so he doesn’t know what to expect from you. They like a mystery vs. a woman who spills her guts on the first date and lingers. That’s what makes a single gal look clingy, desperate and frankly unappealing.
Certainly not the behavior of a high value woman.
Let Him Close the Deal
Here’s another mistake women often make without even realizing it. You try to close the deal. What? At the end of the date, you say something like, “I hope to hear from you again.”
Setting up a second date is the man’s role. You want it to be his idea. That’s how a man becomes invested in winning you over. Let him do the work or you won’t know how interested he is. He might say yes to your offer, but doesn’t mean he’s interested.
Even when a guy says, “Can I call you?” there’s no way to know if he will. Sometimes men are nervous, so they say things that are expected of them to end the date and leave.
However, if a man is seriously interested, he will ask you out again. Maybe at the end of the date, maybe a few days later. Let him decide and approach you so you don’t risk emasculating him.
How a High Value Woman Wraps it Up
A high value woman knows she is worth the wait and has confidence in her choices. She doesn’t hesitate to get off the phone or wrap up a first date within 90-minutes, even if she’s having the time of her life.
At some point, when a first call or date rolls into 2-3 hours or more, the guy will wish it was over. Especially now, since there’s no hope of getting you into bed (although there is video sex, don’t go there if you want lasting love!).
Exit strategically and be first to wrap it up. That is how a high quality woman handles herself.
How you do this matters! If you like the guy, tell him you had a good time. Give him one compliment like, “You are so easy to talk to” or “You really made me laugh” or “I’m sure I could learn a lot about ____ from you.”
Then hold your tongue, smile and if he doesn’t say anything more, simply thank him and say good bye. Done!
If he’s into you, he’ll let you know. And that’s how you win over his heart on your next video date.
Still want more? Find out if you are making any of these deadly texting mistakes.