Are you getting the results you want with your online dating profile? If you aren’t meeting at least 3-4 new men a month, then read on to find out what could be getting in the way. There are definitely things women write in their profiles that scare men off so it’s time to learn what to say instead if you want to find love sooner than later..
Dating Profile Blunders that Keep You From Meeting Men
1. Demanding Language. You may think the best thing you can do to weed out the wrong men is to clearly state your deal breakers in your online dating profile. Nothing could be farther from the truth. When you include words like “You must be…”, “no couch potatoes” or “no players”, men see you as being demanding and difficult to please. And that girlfriend, will make them click to the next!
In midlife, men have had other long-term relationships and a critical woman could easily be his ex. Think he’s looking for another like her? You might not be overly critical, but you sure will sound like one with negative language like this in your profile.
The Tweak – Write about what you DO WANT rather than what you don’t. If you don’t want a couch potato, then talk about how much you appreciate an active guy who likes to get out and do things. Want to chase away players? Explain briefly how you’re looking for a lasting, committed relationship. Insist he must like dogs or kids? Talk about how much you enjoy your dog and how a man who is family-oriented can capture your heart. Whatever you do, stay away from man bashing – men take this personally!
2. Long, Wordy Profile. Most men don’t want to read your life story. They want to skim and get a feel for what you have to say. Unfortunately, many singles write lengthy profiles detailing their life history and current activities. That’s not the purpose of your online dating profile. The real objective is to capture a man’s attention so he sends you an email. That’s it.
When you go on and on about your beliefs, work history, stories of your kids and all the activities you enjoy, men glaze over and click away. It overwhelms and shuts them done fast. Don’t make this common profile mistake which will lessen the men who contact you.
The Tweak – Keep your profile short – under 400 words or less and make it conversational, as if you were talking to the man reading it. Simplify by providing top-line details about yourself and sharing what you like most. Describe the man you are seeking with positive adjectives and mention the type of person you want to spend time with.
3. Be My Best Friend. Many women have this idea that your romantic partner should also be your best friend. While that can happen, it can also easily be misinterpreted by men reading your online dating profile. For example, men might wonder why you don’t already have a best friend or if this will threaten time for his current male friendships. He may already have best friend.
Thinking about the man and relationship you want in terms of friendship is a healthy idea. But it may sound demanding. Even worse it can sound like you want to take up all of a man’s time and could become too dependent. That sets off the clingy alert!
The Tweak – While men often are looking for “a soft place to land” and think of feminine charm in this way, it’s safe to let men know you are looking for that strong guy who helps you feel safe. This will appeal to his protective instincts rather than threaten his need for alone time or fun with the boys.
Online Dating Profile Tips
Even though men tend not to thoroughly read online dating profiles the same way women do, they do read them enough to know who they don’t want to meet. Write your profile in simple language with short sentences. Make it chatty and fun. Use humor if you can and keep it brief. That’s how you’ll have the best chances of encouraging men to read about you and start an email conversation.
Writing your online dating profile is an art and something I can help with. I’ve written and reviewed countless profiles that improve your results and capture men’s attention. Learn how I can help you with your online dating profile