Dear Ronnie – The Dating Coach,
I am a 54 year old single woman from Seattle who is ready to find love. Just bought your book and am so excited to read it!
I am staying positive about meeting the perfect mate for me! I’d like a mate who shares some of my interests like: music (jazz, R & B, classical), movies, plays, and sporting events. I definitely want a man who is family oriented and enjoys travel. I joined eHarmony and was formerly a member of Match.com. What do you recommend for me?
Sleeping good and feeling hopeful in Seattle
I am sorry to say that I’m not a fan of eHarmony. I suppose it might matter where you live, but they have very few men in your age bracket and it drops off quickly in the 40’s. I know this from the 2,000+ dating coaching clients I have helped, many of whom have complained bitterly about the site.
The site is also notorious for sending matches of men with expired profiles! They don’t tell you that for obvious reasons. Most men don’t want to fill out eHarmony’s236 questions and don’t care about personality tests. They don’t want to be bothered with cumbersome communication methods either.
On the other hand – you never know and occasionally women over 40 do meet a man on that site. There are exceptions to every rule, so don’t worry that you already signed up. Think of it as just ONE of the avenues you can employ to meet men. You may also want to join another site, go to singles dances, try speed dating, etc. to supplement your eHarmony activity. Match.com actually has a lot more men and 50+ is the fastest growing age group for online dating. That’s the good news!
I believe in making an “Action Plan” planning exactly what you are going to do each month to meet new men. Without such a plan, you may not be in the mood, feel like there is nothing to do, focus on chores or hang with the girls. These other options are perfectly fine as part of your life – but they won’t help you meet men.
I recommend to my over 40 dating coaching clients to decide how often you are willing to do something to meet men every month and then create your plan including signing up for things and putting them on your calendar.
The next area to focus on is what I call your “Inner Plan.” This is about the steps you will take to make sure you believe in love. And to make sure you are open to and attract the man you have described.
Steps might include affirmations, visualization, positive thinking, chanting, prayer and several other ideas I’ve outline in great detail in my book MANifesting Mr. Right. (Thanks for your recent purchase by the way!)
My book is actually divided into three segments:
1. Dater’s Mind – The right mind set for the best dating results.
2. Action Plan – How to meet lots of new men
3. Protocol – Understanding how dating works
You’ll find lots of helpful tips and proven strategies in the book that have worked for so many women. And they helped me meet and marry my husband!
Good for you for staying positive about meeting men – some times that is more than half the battle!
Wishing you love,
Ronnie – The Dating Coach