Dating Over 40: Banish the Bah-Humbug Dating Attitude

Carla Dickens here – this month’s inspiration is my version of A Christmas Carol – the story by Charles Dickens about Ebenezer Scrooge.

Ebbie Scrooge, a good looking woman in mid life, was wasting her dating years grumbling about men. On the night before Christmas, she was commiserating with her single girlfriends, complaining bitterly about the horrible men they meet. How all the good men are taken. How they’ll never find love and refuse to settle. The girlfriends clinked their glasses one last time, toasting how they didn’t need men and parted ways. Ebbie stumbled home for a good night’s rest. But she didn’t get it.

Instead, she was visited by three Christmas Ghosts who illustrated the error of her dating ways.

The Ghost of Romance Past

First the Ghost of Romance Past dropped in to have Ebbie review her history. Ebbie is all too familiar with her unhappy past and ugly divorce. However, the Ghost is very compassionate and worked with Ebbie to remember what was good, what did make her happy, and what lessons she learned that she can bring forward to a new love life.

The romance apparition encouraged Ebbie to not get stuck in the past. In fact, Ebbie’s past does not automatically create her romantic future. She has more free will than she realized and might want to think twice about frittering it away with negativity.

The Ghost of Romance Present

Back to bed for Ebbie, she thought she’d finally get some rest, but not to be. The Ghost of Romance Present scooped her up and they journeyed to view her current love situation. Much to her chagrin, very little is happening on the love front. The Ghost of Romance Present lovingly explains to Ebbie that she does have loving energy in her life. She has children who love her, friends and family who adore her, neighbors who enjoy her, and a dog who offers unconditional love. Ebbie never considered these sources of love in her life, and took them for granted.

The patient spirit of Romance Present showed Ebbie how loving energy in her present life could blossom into more if she acknowledged it and felt grateful. The error of her ways, bitching and moaning, blaming men, criticizing them endlessly, actually didn’t make her feel better – it made things worse. Ebbie’s head was spinning from watching how much time she spent dissing the male species. From this new vantage point, it seemed like a waste of time and energy.

Ghost of Romance Future

Then Ebbie was back in bed and yet again, a third apparition, the Ghost of Romance Future whisked her off. She arrived to view her life five years ahead and was amazed to find herself in the arms of a wonderful man, smiling, happy and in love. How could this be? What could she shift to ensure that this future did come to pass?

The ghost of Romance Future gave Ebbie some crucial tips about being approachable and friendly to men and most importantly, appreciating men for who they are and what they have to offer. It was as if Ebbie woke up to a whole new consciousness about dating that she had never experienced before. She could see the wisdom of her dating coach and how her advice would help create the future she so strongly desired but had long ago given up on.

Banish the Bah-Humbug Attitude

Ebbie reconnected with all three Romance Ghosts before her night ended and vowed to change her ways. She agreed to work on being more positive, open and active. She promised to minimize her complaints and banish her bah-humbug attitude that sabotaged any efforts she did make. This will permit her to send good vibes into the Universe and attract the love she wants and deserves.

Good for you Ebbie! With those shifts in perspective and understanding, you will attract the love of a good man. The next day, Ebbie flirted just for the fun of being a woman, received lots of attention and started on the path to the love-filled future she now knows is waiting for her.

Merry Christmas!

Single for too long, Ronnie wanted to find love. She put her skills from personal development and her spiritual path to work, dating 30 men in 15 months to meet her adorable husband Paul. Discovering the keys to manifesting and midlife dating, she founded It’s Never Too Late to help smart, successful women find love or live an empowered and magical life. Ronnie Ann Ryan, MBA, CCC, is a Certified Coach who has helped 1,000s of midlife women with her Love & Magical Life Coach services. She’s the host of the Breathe Love & Magic podcast and has been featured on NBC, ABC, & Fox News, NPR, BBC, eHarmony,, and Connecticut Magazine among others. Also, Ronnie is the author of 6 books which are available on Amazon.

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