Love Is Scary – How To Spot Good Men Vs. Scary Monsters

Do you think love is scary? I get it, but the truth is, all men are not monsters! Here are three ways to notice the good men around you and find the right one for you.

Worried that Every Man You Meet Might Be Frankenstein?

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I know how hard it can be to find love with a good man. I understand when women complain to me that the men out there are terrible. They just want one thing. They lie, cheat and scam.
All the good ones are taken and even the media says what’s left are scary monsters like… Frankenstein (OK, Halloween is on my mind.) That’s why love is scary.
I walked in your shoes being a single woman until 40. But I was lucky because I had done a lot of personal development work. So, I had access to a bounty of methods that helped me open my mind and turn my negative thinking and attitude around.

Why Is Being In Love Scary?

One of the biggest challenges I faced was believing a good man was out there for me and I COULD find him and the love I longed for dearly. Let me tell you, I worked at it!
I used every exercise and mind trick I knew to shift these patterns that surely would have interfered with what became my successful search for love.

AND I DID IT!

Not only did I manage to keep an open mind about the men I met and stay positive during the dating journey, but I also met an adorable man and we’ve been happily married for years.
Yes, it’s worth the effort! I know you can find love too. Heck if I did it, any woman can!
Here are three empowering mind exercises to help you move past the idea that love is scary. When you stop imagining that all men are scary monsters, you’ll find more good men out there and one just for you.

1. Practice Looking for the Good in Men

love is scary When you notice men walking past you on the street, instead of ignoring them or internally criticizing them, take a moment to look for the good in them. Ask yourself, “Why does that man’s girlfriend or wife love him? What does he have to offer his woman? What does he do to make her feel special?”
This does take some practice but, it’s an extremely powerful method to shift your thinking. You are resetting your outlook to find good things about the men you notice.
Don’t feel badly if you quickly fall back to thinking he’s not dressed well, is losing his hair, or wherever you might usually go with your thinking. That’s normal and making this shift in thought process will take time.
Commit to doing this exercise on a regular basis and be gentle with yourself as you realize all the negativity that comes up when you try to be positive. It’s  great way to stop thinking love is scary and men are horrible.

2. Smile at One New Man Every Day

This is a bit difficult now with COVID and wearing a mask. However, if you are out and going to work or the store, look up, face forward and notice men. A man might not be able to see your smile, but you can bob your head and say hello. Your eyes will still show a smile.
Many women are task-focused as you hurry around to get stuff done. You might not even notice a man looking at you or smiling.
Or if you think love is scary, your normal instinct is to look away as fast as possible because you would rather not engage. Sadly, neither of these instincts will help you connect with a good man.
You cannot imagine the positive changes that happen when I convince a client to smile at men. The results are consistently remarkable!

3. Notice Happy Couples Around You

love is scaryYou might think it’s counterproductive to notice happy couples. They have what you want and that could make you feel envious or unhappy.
But let’s look at this another way.
Once you see a happy couple, instead of feeling your own lack of love, you can ride the energetic coattails of their relationship happiness. They are your evidence that finding love is possible. After all, they did it!
If you do this exercise, you will start to understand that you can find love too. You are no different than other people and you are just as worthy as anyone else.

Elevate Your Energy

When you spot happy couples, leverage their happy energy by saying to yourself, “Love does exist! I want what they have and am ready to be next!”
This is not at all like envy or jealousy. It’s a higher level vibe where you elevate your own energy to the level of your desire. You lift yourself above the old idea that love is scary.
Your desire for love is a higher vibration. Seeing happy couples can help lift your energy right now to be like the love you want.
According to the Law of Attraction, like attracts like. That means when you lift your energy to the level of happy couples in love – you are now like the energy you want to attract!
Bingo! That’s what makes you more magnetic to find love.

Yes, You Can Make This Work for You!

Shift your mind away from your internal negative chatter that love is scary and men are scary monsters because GOOD MEN ARE OUT THERE.

Learn to notice the good side of men and start to expect to see that. When you BELIEVE, your chance to find love skyrockets!

Happy Halloween!

 

 

 

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Single for too long, Ronnie wanted to find love. So, she made a few tweaks and then dated 30 men in 15 months to meet her adorable husband Paul. Discovering the keys to midlife dating, she founded It’s Never Too Late for Love to help other smart, successful women find love too! Her mission is to share her proven dating advice  and keen insights about men with women everywhere who are serious about finding love with the right man. Ronnie Ann Ryan, MBA, CCC is a Certified Coach who has helped 1,000’s of midlife women with her Love & Dating Coach services. She’s been featured on BBC’s 5 Live Radio, NBC, ABC, and Fox News, NPR, eHarmony, MSN.com, MORE.com, Connecticut Magazine among others around the world. An established author, you can find her 6 books on Amazon.

2 thoughts on “Love Is Scary – How To Spot Good Men Vs. Scary Monsters”

  1. Hello Ronnie, I recently met a man on line. (10 days approx)

    Since the day he contacted me, we’ve been talking on the phone at least 3 times a day. Our chemistry is really good and we just clicked.

    We met the next day we were both available and we had lots of fun.

    On our first date he wasn’t feeling well and was visibly uncomfortable due to his stomach.

    He went even further and mentioned that he will take his profile off the dating site. I checked and he did. (I cannot find his profile at all)

    I felt bad and suggested that we leave. In the car I suggested we go to his house where he could have all his amenities “just in case”.

    He took me home in the AM and showed no rush to get “rid” of me.

    Yes, things happen however, that didn’t scare him away and he remained consistent.

    He even invited me to a party he attends every year, which is going to take place in a few weeks.

    We are going to see each other again this week end.

    So you might say “what’s the problem”?….and here are my questions:

    1. Is it really possible that he is just a genuine nice guy or is he a con artist.

    2. He hasn’t given me any reason so far to think that he is dishonest. How can I tell?

    3. Does all of this mean that we are dating?…(recently divorced after being married for 15 years so not sure about dating these days)

    4. Am I over-thinking this a bit too much?

    Reply
    • Hi Amanda,
      My posts aren’t really the place to get dating advice directly from me but I will share a bit of my thoughts. 1. I tell my clients to avoid the rush. Often men who rush you just want to get you into bed. 2. NEVER go to a man’s house who you don’t know. This could put you at great risk and I am relieved that you are safe and sound. 3. Only time can tell if he’s a scam artist or for real. But I have found that less is more. I advise you not to have that much communication daily – this leads to a false belief that you know him – but only time helps you get to know a person – seeing consistency over time. 4. Yes, you are over thinking this. There is no way to know if he is real without spending time with him and observing his behavior. 5. Slow down, get to know him, and don’t fully trust him until he proves over weeks and weeks that he is the real deal. All men are not bad – many are good. But its best not to fully put all your eggs in one basket until you know him better.

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