Confused about how to start a conversation on Bumble or Tinder? Try any of these 15 openers to get the ball rolling and connect with more men through the dating apps.
How to Start a Conversation on Bumble or Tinder
As you know on Tinder, anyone can start a conversation, but on Bumble the woman must initiate. Either way, it’s time to figure out how to get a man’s attention on the dating apps so you can find “The One”.
Humor is a winning approach. Bumble, Tinder and Hinge offer suggestions about how to open a conversation and I borrowed a couple of those. Then I’ve added several of my own one liners to the list below.
The idea is to stand out and capture a man’s attention. Many of my coaching clients started out using really lame openers. You definitely want to avoid anything that can be answered with yes, no or “good”.
Typical Small Talk Won’t Work
For example, a lot of women try, “How is your week going?” This makes no sense because the only thing a man can answer is “good” and where does that lead? No where. You don’t know each other so, no one is going to start explaining what actually happened during the week. This question is better for people you already know.
Once I explained to these women how to better engage men through the apps, that all changed and so did their results! You want to make him curious about you so, he wants to know MORE about you. That way, he’ll respond and you can enter a conversation to see if there’s a connection.
The goal is to get a date – to do that, you need to stand out from all the other women on the app. Some of these one-liners are old favorites and others have a flirty twist. Try a bunch of them to see what works best for you.
Naturally you can start by asking him a question about something in his profile or photos. However, there are plenty of men who don’t say much about themselves, write next to nothing or and have little going on in their photos. These suggestions are for when these usual options are not available.
The first few simple texts pose basic questions directed at singles over 50. If you are younger, you’ll get the idea and can create your own comparisons more suitable for your own age group.
For example, a Glamour Magazine article recommended this question about the TV show Friends, “Do you think Ross and Rachel ever really broke up?” This works for older singles who watched the show when it aired live as well as younger people discovering the show today on Netflix.
How to Get a Date on Bumble
What do all of these suggestions have in common? They don’t pry or require revealing anything too personal. The openers are fun, non-threatening and easy to respond to which is why they are so effective.
More than anything, you want to avoid reaching out with qualifying questions because you’ll get no real answers. However, you can push men away who don’t want to be interrogated. The goal is to create some fun while connecting so you get a chance to talk on the phone and then meet. That is the point right?
The easier and more fun you make the first contact, the more likely you will create a deeper connection and get a date!
First Bumble Message
1. Coke or Pepsi? The “Cola Wars” have been going on for decades and it’s fun to find out which side someone will take. It’s not personal and comes out of nowhere, bringing back memories of a more youthful time for the person you ask.
2. Rolling Stones or the Beatles? Taking you back to the 60’s and the time of the British invasion (here in the US) is another great way to recapture a youthful feeling. That’s perfect for singles over 50 but is a fair question about musical preference for any age.
3. Happy Days or Mork and Mindy? This is another fun comparison based on TV watching in the late 70s and early 80s. Both shows were pure fun entertainment and will likely bring back enjoyable memories.
4. Mountains vs. sea shore? Exploring the idea of where you prefer to spend your free time can open up a rich path for conversation about vacations and where people feel their best.
5. What do you put on your pizza? Some people are purists and like only cheese, while others consider a wide range of toppings from spinach and broccoli to bacon or pineapple. it’s just a fun question and easy to answer.
Cute First Messages on Bumble
6. What’s your favorite travel destination? Who doesn’t like to go on vacation? Talking about travel and vacation will likely put someone in a good mood in the same way time off does. You can learn a lot about a person’s sense of adventure from where they like to go and if they repeat the same vacation over and over or always go someplace new.
7. How do you spend a rainy Sunday? This question helps you learn about a person’s free time and how creative they get with it. Does the guy just watch sports or movies or look for something more stimulating like a museum? Or maybe they get a few friends together and play cards.
8. Are you a Leo? Asking about Astrology is always a fun line of conversation. People love to talk about themselves without getting too personal. Even if he’s not interested, chances are he’ll know his Sun Sign.
9. Did you just wink at me? This is a playful, flirty one-liner meant to get a man thinking. Obviously, he didn’t wink at you but that doesn’t matter. Flirting is fun is this is one way to start.
10. What do you do when you’re not making me melt? Another flirty opener, this appeals to his masculine side and ego. Telling a man he makes you melt is so flattering and could warm him up to you in case he needs it.
What to Say First on Bumble – More Suggestions
11. What would you do if you won the lottery? Here’s how you might learn a little bit about his dreams by asking what he’d do if he didn’t have to work anymore or came into a lot of money. Pure fun.
12. Jazz or Rock? Music is a great topic to start a conversation and this is a classic question. A lot of men love music and will be happy to wax on about their favorite genres and artists. Having musical interests in common can help you bond.
13. East coast or West coast? Everyone has a preference and this is also a way to discover where he’s from. This question is a great example of how to start a conversation on Bumble or other dating apps.
14. Tell me two truths and a lie. I had never heard of this little game but apparently, it’s become quite popular as a conversation starter. You’ll have to guess which one is the lie and you can see how this creates plenty to text about. Be creative with your own responses!
15. Can I buy you a drink or do you prefer the cash? This is an old pick up line that comes at a man out of nowhere and will get his attention for sure. Another flirty option, the humor in this one-liner could open doors and start conversations with men you might not connect with otherwise.
Messaging a Guy on Bumble or Tinder
So, there you have it – 15 creative ways to reach out on the apps and start a conversation with a man. Now you have no excuses and know how to start a conversation on Bumble or Tinder.
Be brave and be bold! Don’t just try the one about pizza – try some of the flirty starters because you never know exactly what the thing is that will help you connect with “The One” and be the start of the magic that love is.
When you are gripping tightly, hoping each man could be “The One” you are not at your best. The most important thing you can do is simply have fun with this. If a man doesn’t respond, move on. There are so many men out there and more join every day.
The more you can simply relax, enjoy the process and allow yourself to see the potential for humor, the better your results will be.