Why Is He Still Texting Me If He’s Not Interested?

You ask me, “Why is he still texting me if he’s not interested?” So many women suffer as a result of men who continue to text them without spending any time together.

Here’s what you need to know to better understand men, texting and what is truly going on.

Why is he still texting if hes not interestedThe Bond Feels REAL, But Is It?

Single women write to me often, feeling the pain of too much texting and communication without actually going on dates.

Sadly, they get attached to the men over time. As weeks turn into months, which happens more frequently than you think, the feelings grow and deepen. This is how a bond forms and where heartbreak comes to visit.

It’s easy to see how this can happen. Staying in touch with a man regularly to share bits of your day, cute pics, funny events, etc., allows you to feel close to him.

Maybe you start to have pet names for each other, private jokes,  or routines that feel comfortable and satisfying.

His texts might be sweet, thoughtful, funny or romantic. And when you get a message from him, your heart flutters.

He just knows exactly what you want to hear – how is that possible? So you ask yourself, “Why is he still texting me if he’s not Interested?”

Your confusion stems from his inability to carve time out for a date and not cancel.

Sadly, and I hate to tell you this but, this interaction with him is pure fantasy.

Is He Like His Texting Persona?

Yes, there is a connection, but it is NOT LOVE. It’s the fantasy of love because how can you be in love with a man you never see?

You don’t really know him. You only know his texting persona and what he chooses to show off himself VIRTUALLY. The same is true for phone conversations and even video chats.

The only way you really get to know someone is to SPEND TIME TOGETHER.

Texting, phone calls, social media, and video are all SUPPLEMENTS for a time in person if you are seeking a genuine, loving relationship.

should I text him - man texting

But Why Does He Keep Texting Me If He’s Not Interested

I know the question is still nagging at you. Even if you completely get this is not true love, there’s a part of you that needs to understand what the heck this is all about.

Why would a man knowingly continue to text if he’s not interested? It makes no sense.

5 Reasons Why He Continues to Text

1. He’s Lonely

Even men get lonely, so having someone to text with makes him feel less alone.

Sometimes that might be just enough to satisfy this guy because he doesn’t want or isn’t capable of the full relationship you want. So he continues to text.

2. He’s Bored

He’s not living a rich, full life and perhaps doesn’t get out much. Or maybe he’s socially awkward. Another option is he has a lot of time on his hands.

Maybe his job doesn’t occupy his full attention, so texting you is perfect to spice things up! We’ve all been bored from time to time and this is his way of killing time – by WASTING YOURS.

3. He Craves Attention

Some men simply crave attention, especially from an attractive, compassionate woman like you. Someone to listen to his woes or details of his day.

When you respond, he feels right with the world, knowing someone out there cares about him. Every time you respond, he feels bolstered knowing a great gal like you is paying attention to him.

4. He Needs an Ego Boost

Anyone can feel down or low and what better pick me up than texting with several women throughout the day. Or even just one woman he feels comfortable with.

Maybe you boost his ego because you think he’s funny, fun to talk to, creative or really interesting. He may reveal what seems like private details of his life to draw you in closer. Too bad it won’t get deeper than that.

5. He Enjoys it

Texting with you is F-U-N! Are you quick-witted or have a good sense of humor? Do you share funny thoughts, pics, jokes or stuff from the media?

You have to admit that texting with you is uber entertaining. So he keeps texting to get more but AT A DISTANCE. If he wanted to enjoy your wit in person, he’d ask you out! But, he’s not asking!

There may be more reasons as to, “Why is he texting me if he’s not interested?” But, these cover the biggest ones for sure.

What Are You Looking for in a Man?

What Are You Looking for in a ManHere’s the big question for you. Are you ready? It all boils down to this shockingly simple inquiry. What you are looking for in a man?

  • Do you want a texting buddy?
  • Do you just want to entertain men instead of dating them?
  • Are you looking to help men overcome boredom and to fill their time?
  • Do you want to help a man improve his low self-esteem?
  • Are you chatting with men so they can stop feeling so darn lonely?

OF COURSE NOT! You want LOVE – the real thing.

So, this is what I want you to do. STOP IT.  This might seem harsh and you might be thinking, “No Ronnie, tell me I haven’t been wasting my time! Tell me this isn’t true!”

I know, I hear you, but I’m going to stand strong on your behalf and say with great compassion – please stop texting this man.

Stop following him on social media. Stop Facetiming, talking to him nightly and hoping at some point that he’ll want to go on a real date to see you live and in person.

HOPE is a 4-Letter Word

When it comes to your health and healing the sick, hope is essential. Studies show how important a hopeful, positive attitude is for recovery.

But, when you spend months hoping some guy will finally ask you out or see you a second time to get to know you in person – THAT IS  A MASSIVE WASTE OF YOUR TIME.

This is one place where HOPE becomes a 4-letter word because you will curse the fact that you foolishly hung in there hoping some guy would finally come through for you.

Your best strategy when you get into a situation like this is to GET OUT NOW.

Start the Man Diet!

should I text him - clockBlock the guy on your phone and unfriend all his social media. Then go on a super strict diet from this guy and avoid him like the plague he really is.

He might be an OK person, but he’s not OK for your love life. After all, he is just getting his own needs met.

However, he is a complete drain on attracting the right man for the love life you’ve been dreaming of for so long.

If you are serious about finding love, stop asking why is he still texting me if he’s not Interested?

Drop that fantasy man and his virtual relationship like a hot potato and free yourself up to find REAL LOVE with a REAL MAN who takes you into his arms and kisses you passionately like there’s no tomorrow.

Seriously, stop wasting your time and get  my book 7 Deadly Sins of Texting now so you can get to the good part of dating – spending quality time with the man of your dreams

Single for too long, Ronnie wanted to find love. So, she made a few tweaks and then dated 30 men in 15 months to meet her adorable husband Paul. Discovering the keys to midlife dating, she founded It’s Never Too Late for Love to help other smart, successful women find love too! Her mission is to share her proven dating advice  and keen insights about men with women everywhere who are serious about finding love with the right man. Ronnie Ann Ryan, MBA, CCC is a Certified Coach who has helped 1,000’s of midlife women with her Love & Dating Coach services. She’s been featured on BBC’s 5 Live Radio, NBC, ABC, and Fox News, NPR, eHarmony, MSN.com, MORE.com, Connecticut Magazine among others around the world. An established author, you can find her 6 books on Amazon.

42 thoughts on “Why Is He Still Texting Me If He’s Not Interested?”

  1. Hi Ronnie, I’ve been Snapchatting with this guy for a year. I asked to meet at the start and he said maybe so i didn’t mention it again. I considered this a friendship until about a few months ago he changed. He mentioned my lips and kissing but not fully sexual. I finally said, we’ve been talking for so long let’s meet. So we did and had a nice time. He said we’ll get together soon. He continues to snap every day. It’s been almost two months. We had plans twice but he cancelled both. He was helping a friend but ran late so couldn’t meet. So we planned another and he couldn’t because he was stressed about getting a new job. I told him “I’ll be honest I’m a little upset you, this is the 2nd time you cancelled and it’s confusing. I don’t know what you want. We snap all the time but are you scared to meet me again? Just tell me.” He said “:( I’m sorry I’ve just been busy lately and stressing over the new job.” We send cute sexy pictures to each other. I’m just at my breaking point. I like him but feel like this is going nowhere. Honesty is what I need!!!

    Reply
    • Dear Honesty, Sadly, this man is he leading you on and I say this with compassion but YOU are allowing him to treat you this way. If you want honesty, then I will say he probably has a woman in his life already. The truth is you are too patient and understanding. One month of snapchat and nothing more would have been too much, never mind a year. When a man says one thing but does another – its up to you to figure out he’s not serious. A man making excuses is SHOWING YOU that he doesn’t WANT more. That is HIS version of honesty.

      You must decide how you want to be treated. Are you the kind of woman who puts up with this nonsense? Or do you have enough self-worth to break it off and block him so he cannot waste another minute of your time? I encourage you to value yourself more so this never happens again. A man truly interested will make time to see you rather than make excuses. You might find this other post about when it’s time to let him go helpful.

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