Are you watching the Real Housewives of New York (RHONY)? OMG it’s riveting and the dating mistakes are for these single ladies are intense.
Colossal Blind Date Mistakes
This week Carole Radziwill decided to help socialite Tinsley Mortimer with her love life by setting her up on a blind date. She said Scott is such a nice guy and Tinsley needs a nice guy right now. We all need a friend like that!
Carole set up a double date to introduce her two friends. The minute Tinsley arrived the dating mishaps began!
(Note to Tinsley: I don’t mean to pick on you but you could really use the support of an experienced dating coach so you don’t push quality men away.)
First let me tell you what she did well. She looked great. Tinsley was upbeat, friendly and had a great smile. She greeted her date with warmth as they met.
Now for the bad news and there’s plenty of it – yikes!
1. Before she even took her coat off, Tinsley launched into talking about her ex husband! This is a major first date mistake. Talking about your ex is like bringing him with you on the date. Your date doesn’t want to hear about that, never mind the first thing out of her mouth.
2. Then she showed him she was still wearing her wedding ring, albeit on her pinky finger. He made a face of sheer discomfort. She went to sit next to him and took off the ring, placing it on the coffee table and Scott gave her a big bear hug. Too much drama right from the start.
But wait, it gets worse…
3. When Scott released the hug, she grabbed his face between her two hands and planted a HUGE kiss on him. Oh my! Her commentary was “ I like to kiss. Tee hee.” Really? That was SO AGGRESSIVE. She assumed he wanted to kiss her right then and what choice did he have? Not good. Let the man show a little interest first don’t you think?
4. Tinsley was trying to decide what to drink and she and Scott both liked Titos! Too bad the next thing she said was how she doesn’t like the taste of alcohol – she just likes the feeling. Great, so you like to get drunk to feel better? That’s not painting the best picture of yourself or your life.
5. Tinsley vividly demonstrated a lack of self-esteem and self-worth. She hasn’t healed from her last failed relationship where she was arrested for trespassing (and then the charges were dropped – how awful for her!) She’s mentioned this several times and her RHONY tagline is “A good pair of lashes can fix anything, even a mug shot.”
In addition, she hasn’t healed from her divorce. She feels so stressed and unsettled, she couldn’t choose an apartment when looking at real estate. She decided to move out of Sonja’s home and into a hotel until she figures out her life.
Yet, all she can talk about on camera is finding a new man and getting married again at 41.
I’m all for finding love and marriage, but after 15 years as a dating coach for women over 40, one thing I know for sure is you have to have your own life together to attract the right man. If your only goal is to find a man to marry you, you can do that, but the chances of lasting love are sort of slim.
RHONY Appears a Little Desperate
My point is – this is not the time for Tinsley to be seeking lasting love. Flirt and date? Sure! Mingle, meet lots of men and have fun! That’s what Ramona Singer is doing and she seems to be really enjoying herself. (Find out where the Real Housewives of NY go to meet men.)
But you can’t expect to find a healthy, loving relationship with low self-esteem. Tinsley is acting like she can’t be without a man – not a great way to think about yourself. Men can smell that kind of emotional desperation from a mile away and will RUN.
Her unhappy emotional state, combined with her inability to handle herself on a date will likely push away any quality man she might have the good luck to meet or be fixed up with.
Radziwill’s Commentary about Tinsley’s Dating Mistakes was on Target!
Carole knew the MASSIVE MISTAKES her friend was making before her eyes and (even more painfully) on national television. Maybe she’ll pull Tinsley aside off camera and give the girlfriend talk. Listen to her Tinsley, Carole knows her stuff when it comes to men.
If you relate to Tinsley and think maybe you could use the advice of a professional dating expert, why not schedule a free phone or Skype session with me to talk about your situation and how coaching can help? Simply fill out the application and then schedule a time to talk.
Photo Credit: Bravo TV RHONY Save