Wondering – why is dating after divorce so hard? Find out why, then discover what you can do to make it easier to find love.
If you’re dating after divorce to find lasting love it’s not easy. Sometimes it feels like you are looking for that proverbial needle in a hay stack. Yet, people fall in love every day. So why is dating after divorce so hard for you and not others?
Once you’ve been married, you have baggage which has to be dealt with. You may have trust issues or a broken heart from your last relationship. If you are serious about finding a healthy, loving partnership, invest in healing and learning so the next time around you find a more compatible mate.
Below are a number of issues that crop up for people who are divorced which make dating more difficult and what you can do about them.
1.Heal Your Broken Heart
If you’re ex left or cheated on you, you probably have a broken heart. Of course you can recover, but it takes time and personal growth. All too often women jump into the dating pool thinking the solution to a broken heart is to find a new love.
Honestly this is what leads to disaster. A broken heart makes you needy and prevents you from being objective about the men you date. As a result, you make choices that are not in your long-term best interest so you can avoid being alone.
2. Examine What Went Wrong
I’m sure your ex heavily contributed to your breakup. But don’t overlook your part too. Your willingness to look within and consider your role is a huge piece of healing that shouldn’t be side stepped. It’s time to grow based on your past mistakes.
When you take time to objectively assess what happened, that’s your chance to learn about relationships and yourself. This step is vitally important to finding love again with a more compatible and better partner and hopefully to find lasting love.
3. Regain Trust
If you want to find love, you need to not only trust yourself when it comes to making the right selection but also learn to trust men again. Naturally this can take some time. One thing that can really help is to learn about what’s happening with dating now.
My bestselling book Is He The One? Find Mr. Right by Spotting Mr. Wrong will reveal the tricks midlife and older men play who don’t want a serious relationship so you can easily identity the ones who are sure to waste your time. Armed with this knowledge you’ll be able to trust yourself more as well.
4. Get Clear about What You Want
The best way to find the right man is to know who you are looking for. Is he smart, supportive with a good sense of humor? Maybe you prefer an active man who is social and is politically conservative. Whatever might work for you, get crystal clear so you can easily weed out men who don’t align with your values.
My dating advice is to also get clear about what kind of relationship you want. Be honest with yourself. If you want to marry again – feel free to admit it and say so. If you’d be happy with a long-term committed relationship but don’t want to live together, that’s fine too.
Knowing what you want is vital to finding the right mate because if you want to be serous and you meet a man who wants to be casual – that’s a problem.
5. Learn about Modern Dating
When was the last time you dated? If it was more than 10 years ago, you’ve got some catching up to do! Things have changed in the dating scene and you need to find out what’s happening and what works best to find love again.
Without this knowledge which you can find in books and reading blogs like mine, you could push away quality men without even realizing it. That’s why you need to know how things have changed so you don’t mess up a good opportunity when it comes your way.
In addition, you’ll need help understanding men and the difference between what they say and do. This about about mixed signals men send will open your eyes and put you in the driver’s seat when it comes to understanding what is really going on.
You Can Find Love Again After Divorce
So if you’ve been asking everyone you know, “Why is dating after divorce so hard?” you now know the reasons and what you can do to turn things around. Don’t forget, people fall in love every day so finding love again is COMPLETELY POSSIBLE!
Invest in yourself – the time and energy it takes to heal, examine what happened, and learn from mistakes. Discover what works today to find love, apply your learning and now you’re in the perfect place to find lasting love with a fabulous partner.
People fall in love every day, why not you? Go for it!
Could you be making devastating mistakes on your first date that keep you from getting to know men better? Listen to my audio program 12 First Date Mistakes that Ruin Your Chance for Love. Find out how to avoid the most common dating mistakes women make which you probably don’t even realize are a problem.