If you’re having trouble meeting quality men this is a really touch question to ask yourself but very worthwhile.
If you can say you know men you admire – good for you! That’s an excellent sign that you heart is open to men and you probably meet men who appeal to you. When you admire men, you appreciate who they are and see the good in them.
On the other hand, when you have contempt for men, you see their flaws as giant. Often a man’s flaws overshadow any potential good which makes it hard to open your heart to them. When you look down at men and think they are beneath you, those are the men you will attract.
I know this sounds a little black and white and maybe even harsh but there a lot of truth in this bold statement.
Now I know you’ve probably had a few bad experiences with men. OK maybe even more than your fair share. So it’s understandable how you got into this spot. If you’ve been hurt and disappointed time after time, coming to expect poor behavior makes sense. I get it.
Trouble is, when you expect poor treatment and substandard men, those are the kind of men you are most likely to continue interacting with. This is a result of the Law of Attract, part of the Universal Law of Vibration and one of the 7 Universal Principles.
As the Law of Vibration states, everything is made of moving energy – hence vibration. And the Law of Attraction states “Like Attract Like”. So that means when you vibrate at the level of believing that all men are scum and will treat you poorly, you are focused only on these types of guys. And that focus sets up a beacon for attraction – to attract more of that similar vibration.
It becomes a very sad, self-defeating prophecy about all future men. Mostly because that is what you expect. So this becomes a viscous circle that feeds upon itself and grows. When women are bitter about men, this is likely what is behind the feelings.
How Can I Change My Contempt for Men?
If you want to change the way you think about men and start to find quality men, you have to believe they exist. What will help is gathering positive evidence that good men are still available. How can you convince yourself of this when you never meet decent men and don’t really know any?
Let’s take baby steps. Tiny little steps are the best way to overcome a long-term belief that has gotten in your way. Try one exercise at time until you start to have success with it before moving on to the next.
1. Men You Know. Think of your friends or family members who might be in relationship or married to a decent guy. Now write the men’s names down and under each one think of one good thing about the guy. If you have more great! Write down all the good things but know it’s fine to start with only one. Feel free to add good qualities as you think of them for these men.
2. Smile at 1- 3 Men Daily. Make it a practice to start smiling at men or saying, “Good morning”. This moves you into a mindset where you’re willing to be friendly and connect. Don’t worry about leading men on or owing them anything just because you smiled at them. This exercise calls for very brief encounters. Just a smile or a hello is all you need to do.
Do this for seven days straight with no exceptions. Go for 21 days if you can commit to that for maximum impact. This exercise shifts the energy you put out into the Universe about men. I guarantee you will notice a difference at the end of seven days and 21 days of this new behavior will change your life permanently.
3. Find What Is Good about Men. The next step is to imagine what is good about the men you smile at. Ask yourself why his wife or girlfriend loves him. What qualities could he have that you would admire as well? The exercise puts you in the mindset of looking for something good and expecting to find it.
This is how you get the Law of Attraction to work on the positive end of the spectrum about men. When you start to look for the good in men you will start to attract good men. It’s really quite amazing how this works.
Challenge yourself to shift your view of men. You can absolutely go from having disdain and contempt to seeing the good in men and then meeting quality men worth dating. If you want to find lasting love and are willing to do these exercises – you will find the right man.
Women fall in love every day. You deserve the love of a quality man. And when you can see that good men exist – you are on the right path to get there!