If He Texts Me Everyday, Does He Like Me? Understanding Men

This question, “If he texts me everyday, does he like me?” plagues many single women. Learn how to read between the lines of how men think to get help understanding men.

If he texts me everyday he must like meIt’s a Good Sign If He Texts  Often Right?

“Dear Dating Coach Ronnie,

I have a male friend who was talking to his guy friend and I came up in conversation. Apparently I sounded interesting so the friend started texting me. We’ve been talking for about a week and a half now, and he has made no move to try and hang out with me.

He’s had several opportunities, and even though he sounds extremely interested, he always has an excuse why he can’t go. We talk for hours and have talked about very real and deep subjects. He’s very intelligent and kind, but I’ve been told he’s kind of awkward with girls. We see each other sometimes in passing, but we have never had a real face-to-face conversation.

If he texts me everyday, does he like me? Should I continue to pursue him and ask him out? Or should I just let him go. I know we are both interested in each other, and we seem to have a lot in common and a similar sense of humor. I’m just wondering why he isn’t making time to hang out with me.

Thanks for Your Insights,
Amy”

 

Dear Amy,

Sorry to say, you might be waiting a long time with this guy for several reasons. Many women mistake a man’s frequent communication for genuine interest. When you ask, “If he texts me everyday, does he like me?” that’s your tip off something isn’t going right.

1. He Told You He’s Awkward with Girls.
That’s a HUGE excuse to keep you at arm’s length. This is your biggest clue he doesn’t want to date. He’s more comfortable virtually. Think about it objectively so you can see what nonsense that is. How could a guy talk about deep subjects and at the same time be awkward with girls? That’s a man’s way of saying he doesn’t want a relationship.

2. He Makes Excuses Why He Can’t See You.
More excuses! A man who is genuinely interested doesn’t make excuses – he MAKES AN EFFORT to see you and win you over. He’s definitely not doing that, so it’s time to move on.

3. You’re a Sure Thing But He Hasn’t Asked You Out.
If this was about shyness, you’ve already shown interest in him. Let’s see, hours on the phone – check. Loads of texting – check. Giving him opportunities to get together – check. But he hasn’t made a move right? That’s your clear signal HE DOESN’T WANT TO DATE.

4. You’ve Passed Each Other But Still No Conversation.
This is yet another obvious sign this guy doesn’t want to see more of you. If he was interested, wouldn’t he want to stop and chat? Wouldn’t he want to talk in person? Wouldn’t he want to gaze into your beautiful eyes?

Don’t Take This Personally

There are so many reasons why he might not want to date you or any woman such as:

  • He might prefer virtual relationships with no expectations and no strings attached.
  • He doesn’t have to pay for dinner or leave the comfort of his home.
  • He may have “performance issues” in the bedroom.
  • He might not be emotionally available even though he can talk a blue streak about deep topics.
  • He just wants an ego boost.
  • He craves female attention.
  • Talking with you makes him feel macho and desired.
  • He enjoys talking with you but doesn’t want to get involved.

The Hard Part about Understanding Men

You are not the only woman asking me, “If he texts everyday, does he like me?” So let me be very direct. Texting, long phone conversations, Facetime, social media – none of these prove a man’s interest. Each one of these options doesn’t require a guy to put himself out or win you over.

He’s NOT DOING ANYTHING but talking and when it comes to love TALK IS CHEAP and MEANINGLESS.

Never take virtual conversation without dates to have meaning. Or interpret his time with you as his genuine interest. Chances are he’s actually proving he loves the sound of his own voice or gets a kick out of texting. He might be bored at home and you fill his time nicely. That has nothing to do with his feelings for you.

Learn How to Identify a Man’s Interest

So if conversation isn’t the proof you need, what is? Pay attention to what a man does to win you over!

  • How often does he take you on a date? If it’s not at least once a week, he’s not serious about you.
  • Does he ask about you and try to get to know you?
  • Does he find out what you like and take you to those places?
  • Does he call within in three or four days after a date to stay in touch? (Texting only doesn’t count.)
  • Does he plan the date and treat you?
  • Does he make time in his busy schedule to see you?
  • Does he keep his promises and follow through on what he says?

These are some of the ways to identify a man’s genuine interest. It’s about THE ACTION HE TAKES NOT WHAT HE SAYS. Some offer compliments like how beautiful you look or buy flowers, but not all men do.

Your guy has taken NONE of these important steps so stop letting him WASTE YOUR TIME. Since he hasn’t asked you out after that much communication and 10 days, HE NEVER WILL. HE HAS NO INTENTION OF DATING YOU.

Don’t Pursue Men

My last point relates to your question about, “Should you pursue him?” My answer to that question is always a giant NO. I tell my clients to never pursue men. Instead, let men pursue you because that is the only way you will ever know if he is showing genuine interest.

When you pursue and ask him out – he may say yes and go, but that doesn’t mean he’s seriously interested. It could mean he’s bored and you’ll fill the time. Or that he thinks he’s going to get lucky since you pursued him, etc.

Read this post on the Ballroom Theory of Dating to better understand men and dating gender roles which still persist.

So, the final answer to your question, “If he texts me everyday, does he like me?” is no. This guy is not serious about you and he will waste your time for as long as you wait around for him to ask you out.

My advice is don’t let him waste your time. Cut him off. Stop texting and stop responding. Stop waiting for his nightly calls. Go out to meet new men because if you want true love, this guy is not the one.

Wishing You Love,

if he texts me everyday does he like me

 

If you want to learn more of the signs that a man is wasting your time, get my Amazon bestseller Is He The One? Find Mr. Right By Spotting Mr. Wrong

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18 responses on “If He Texts Me Everyday, Does He Like Me? Understanding Men

  1. Ronnie Ann Ryan Post author

    Hi Tracey, You are having trouble reading him because he’s sending mixed signals. You are stuck with him but no second date yet? I have to say he may have issues you can’t get around. 16 months to meet you tells you he’s not so ready for a relationship. Keep in mind what he says means nothing -its what he does. I strongly recommend you date others while waiting to see if this goes any where. And if it takes more than two weeks for a second date, don’t count on this guy becoming your new boyfriend. If you want a real relationship where you see each other at least weekly, my bet is he’s not the right man.

  2. Tracey

    I’ve been texting a guy for 16 months who reached out on a dating site March 2017. He was upfront about abandonment issues and needing time to trust and form a friendship first. We texted often, getting to know each other. After a few months I questioned him – he said he wanted to meet and see where it went. Hoped to have a relationship with me, even if I was not interested, at least a friendship. Fast forward now we’ve been texting over a year. (I did date someone else -now its over.) We finally met recently and it was wonderful. He hasn’t been with anyone in 2 years – we talked, laughed, he kissed me. He mentioned dinner and something about me being stuck with him now. We’re still texting and talked on the phone once. He knows I want more than a friendship, however, he’s more reserved so I’m having trouble reading him. I didn’t text him yesterday, giving him time to miss me, and he texted earlier today.

  3. Ronnie Ann Ryan Post author

    Hi Alyssa, Unfortunately being casual is not what you thought. You might have thought “not serious” meant you’d see each other and sleep together regularly with no strings. Sometimes that works. More often, casual means don’t have any expectations – like don’t expect me to see you regularly. He isn’t interested if you’ve only seen him a couple of times in 6 months. Truth is you are a “filler girl” and yes, an ego boost. He’s probably texting a bunch of women daily. Its time to catch on – daily texting with a man means NOTHING, but keeps you thinking you have something going which is not the truth. It’s a waste of time and an emotional drain leading to disappointment. My advice is to stop texting him and look for a relationship if you want consistency. You don’t have to get married to have someone in your life if that’s your fear about being serious.

  4. Alyssa

    I’ve been talking to this guy straight for almost 6 months now. We’ve seen each other a few times in past 6 months. We text every single day, he always make the effort to talk to me by sending me funny stuff via text. Initially, he was interested in having sex but now he’s not nearly as interested in having sex as he was before. I didn’t want to at first because it was too early and he was perfectly fine with that. We have determined that this wasn’t going to be anything serious, but now he could care less if we sleep together? So what does he want? Simply an ego boost?

  5. Ronnie Ann Ryan Post author

    Hi Jenni,
    I suppose there could be something. But how will that work if you’re not in the same country? Sounds like he is lonely to call so many times a day. Has he talked about getting together? Good luck with it. But be careful abut getting your hopes up – he might just be lonely but not serious

  6. Jenni W.

    Hi Ronnie!
    When I was stationed in Germany back in ‘04 I met this guy and we were inseparable for 6 months. He ended up getting deployed and we stopped talking for the next 14 years. Just recently we reconnected and we talk everyday now. He calls me four or five times a day and it’s always FaceTime. Does he still have feelings for me? I’ve never lost feelings for him and he looks at me with this glow like he’s always happy to see me! Could there still be something?!

  7. Ronnie Ann Ryan Post author

    Hi Rupali, Sadly it sounds like he is playing with your head because keeping you in his life must boost his ego. This is not love n his part. He is draining your energy, knowing you care for him, to build himself up. Why else would a man block you but text you? Does that make sense? No, and so it is up to you to summon up your dignity, confidence and courage to let him go. You cannot change him and talking more about this with him won’t make a difference. This is who he is.

    You deserve a true relationship with a man who will give and not just take. A romantic partner who enriches your life, is supportive and shares his love freely with you. I hope you move on and go for the real thing.

  8. Rupali

    Hi I met one of my colleague and he has sent me friend request on facebook over night I talked with him he asked me to meet ..then I meet him he has hugged me kissed me on day one….I trusted him because he ask me to do friendship….We met and Unknowing I was liking him then I told me by kissing and hugginG i had a crush on You….He told me there is no future between you and me…He always talks to me calls me….When things are get complicated he has putted some rules like blocked me on whatsapp…but everyday he texts me ask me everthing…….We are good friends we fought many times but next day he always start fresh talks….I really do not know what kind of guy is this…?? He never compliments me never appreciate me in office we are in same office……

  9. Ronnie Ann Ryan Post author

    Hi Lou – bite that bullet and block him now! Why would you think a man who is serious about you serve up so many excuses? He’s showing you his best which stinks if you ask me. Dump him now and stop putting up with excuses from him or any man. Remember you are a great catch – that’s what helps attract better quality men. Your dignity means everything

  10. Ronnie Ann Ryan Post author

    Vee, If you are the one who initiates contact, going to the gym and dinner, stop. See what he will do without your prompting him. If he doesn’t ask you out, then you know you are in the friend zone for sure. Pull back a bit and let him come to you if you want to know where he’s coming from.

  11. Vee

    I’ve been hanging out with a guy friend. And i have a huge crush on him. Since both of us are single we’ve been going out for movies casual dinners signed up for gym together and have sorta “gym date” with friendly dinner after. Im crazy about him. He texted me everyday lately but as a friend. I tried not to get too excited coz all this while he treats me as a friend. Am i in friendzone? What do i do?

  12. Lou

    Hi there
    My ex boyfriend and I were trying to rekindle after our break up. I haven’t had physical contact with him in 6 weeks. I think I’m throwing in the towel. This past weekend I told him I wanted to spend quality time with him that I could see his efforts at making changes in our relationship. Makes excuses, uses work for everything. Tells me he loves me and misses me, but nothing. Stated he doesn’t feel like anyone could love him. I’ve professed my love to him many times. I believe I need to bite the bullet. Any suggestions or advice would be greatly appreciated.

    Thanks,
    Lou

  13. Ronnie Ann Ryan Post author

    Hi Brenda, Let’s take “he’s too shy” off the table – that does not make any sense. He can’t see you only as a co-worker – he’s spent too much time talking with you. He’s looking forward to seeing you next time he’s in town. So, what you have here is a man who is happy with the way things are – to rarely see you and talk and text. This is a fantasy or virtual relationship and clearly you want more. So you can take one of two tactics with him. You could say that other men are asking you out and you are not sure what to say to them. Then be quiet to see how he responds. He might say he doens’t know. Or he might say, “Tell them you’re with me.” If he says this, you have to ask if you are exclusive and not seeing others. The last question is, “How can we see each other more often?” Or you can start with that and see where it goes. Either way, you are going to have to say something if you ant to move things along or realize you are wasting your time with him.

  14. Brenda

    There is a guy I work with who I’ve been out with 3 times because he lives out of state. He comes to the office once per quarter. After I met him the first time, he started calling me at all times of the day with “work related issues” but we stay talking on the phone a lot. It has been six months, yet I don’t know if he likes me. We talk up to late hours of the night almost every day and during the day he calls me with work related excuses to spend time talking to me. However, he hasn’t expressed his feelings directly. I have developed feelings for him and I don’t want to be the first one to express them. He will be coming soon to the office and mentioned we should go to lunch. Should I assume he sees me only as a co-worker or does he like me and he’s too shy to say it?

  15. Ronnie Ann Ryan Post author

    Hi Marylou, He probably likes you but felt badly about leading you on. So, he decided to be honest with you. Sooner would have been better but what can you do? Believe him and look for someone else to date.

  16. Marylou

    I met a guy on line in April this year. It’s been six month already and we been intimate. He lost interest last weekend. Told me I am the type of woman looking for serious relationship. He told me to stop worrying about him. I really like him don’t get me wrong. He told me it’s never going to happen for the 2 of us but we could just friends. Why did he wait for the longest time to tell me that? It really hurt me

  17. Ronnie Ann Ryan Post author

    OMG Emily – Please stop communicating with this man! He is a scammer and liar. Your instincts to put a stop to this were on the money. Whatever you like about him in truth is all fantasy because you don’t know what he looks like or who he really is except that he sleeps with women he meets online. Decent men do not hide, openly show photos online – not through texting, and don’t discuss all the women they sleep with. I encourage you to set higher standards since it appears you like bad boys and they will lead you to pain and heartbreak. Lastly, I recommend not to text with men for weeks – if a man can’t meet you within 7 days – stop texting – he’s just stringing you along.

  18. Emily

    Hello Ronnie,

    I have been texting with a guy over 3 weeks. First week, he asked me out for dinner. I denied in a polite way because I have not received his photos yet. I mean, how can I meet a guy without knowing his face. However, we continued talking and he fishes for information about me such as, my work, my family, my ex. One day, he told me that, he is willing to meet me, but he knows he won’t meet my standards and cannot impress me like he wins other women. He says he is back to gym to be back in shape because he knows I won’t fall for men with big belly. However, during this time, he opened up his sex life with me, he dates girls online and sleeps with them. And yes, I am jealous when he talks about his dates. I really enjoy having conversation with him, but as soon as I have read your article, I told him not to contact me unless he is ready for face to face communication in persons. He said that he really likes me, but the best way for us is not to meet because his world is mixed up with work and chasing with girls. I didn’t reply his text. The next day, he texted me again saying that he feels guilty because he is back to his old ways of chasing girls. Even I don’t understand what he means (and dying of wanting to know), I didn’t reply his text. It is 2 days from no communications. I really like him, and what should I do to make him fall for me and ask me out?
    Thank you,
    Emily

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