“Should I text him again?” is one of the most frequent questions single women ask. The answer depends on how many times you’ve already initiated texting. Learn what’s most effective.
Can I Text Him Again? I’m So Tempted
“Dear Dating Coach Ronnie,
I met a guy online two weeks ago and we immediately exchanged numbers to talk on the phone. Had a great conversation with a lot in common and talked for nearly two hours! Then we talked again the next night for almost another two hours and discussed meeting in person sometime, perhaps for lunch, coffee, or even the dog park since we are both dog lovers.
I said that would be great and told him my availability. It was a Friday night so figured that weekend was probably too soon to plan something since he didn’t set a date, but thought I’d at least hear from him the following week. Haven’t heard from him since.
I decided to text him on Super Bowl Sunday (9 days after our last conversation) to wish his team well and said “hope you’re doing well!”. No response. Bummer
I’m confused because of how well we hit it off on the phone and he knows I’m interested. Should I text him again in case he didn’t get my text? Or chalk it up to him not being that interested, which again just boggles my mind because of how well our conversations went.
I also wonder if he is waiting until after Valentine’s Day since I assume this weekend will be a lot of couples going out and guys seem to be a little weird about that day. I’m tempted to text him again and suggest getting together for coffee or meeting at the dog park.
This would be the perfect weekend to meet since my kids are with their dad this weekend. But I just not sure what to do.
Ready to Text
Dear Ready to Text,
I know this is hard and it seems like it should be so simple. You wonder why you need to agonize over “Should I text him again?” But that’s your tip off it’s not the way to go. You are right about that!
Even though its so temping to text him again, DON’T DO IT!
See, if this man was truly interested, he would be still talking to you. He would have scheduled a date and shown up. He would have asked you out again.
The fact that nine days have gone by since your last conversation can only mean one thing and I say this with a compassionate heart – HE’S NOT INTO YOU.
Yes, you had two great conversations. Yes he knows you are into him. But you can see that’s not enough. He has to WANT to take that next step to meet you. Even if you did text him again, do you think that would do the trick and get him interested again? I doubt it. He knows exactly what he has to do to see you. AND HE’S NOT DOING IT.
I’m not saying this to be mean. I want you to understand how men think so you stop wanting to text a man who is not interested. One of my specialties in dating over 40 is helping single women with understanding men. How men think. Why they behave the way they do. Revealing what is really going on.
So what is going on with this man?
- He might have met someone else
- He’s distracted by several women
- He got busy with work
- He’s not serious about dating or finding love
- He’s just looking for an ego boost
- He might love talking on the phone
Sometimes all a guy is looking for is a friendly female to talk to. You had a great conversation and now he feels confident about attracting a woman like you. So he’s all set and ready to move on. Or any number of other possibilities. And it has nothing to do with Valentine’s Day.
But one thing you know for sure from his behavior is you have fallen off his radar. And that wouldn’t happen if he was interested. Which is why texting him will NOT get him back on that track. Even if he texts you back.
Adult Dating Should Be Easier
But it’s not. I know it seems you should be able to just speak directly about simple things like setting up a date. But age doesn’t change the dating game because it’s a mating ritual rooted in biology.
A man’s DNA is coded to hunt and pursue. That has not changed. So to be successful at dating, you have to live with the fact that you choose from the men who pursue you. If you pursue men, most will run – read this post to learn more. It doesn’t work.
So what’s a midlife single gal to do? Well the answer to, “Should I text him again?” is no.
You can be friendly to get a man’s attention – then he may decide to pursue. Women are not powerless! That’s what flirting is all about. You have plenty of power – the power of allure. Learn to use that. You can’t turn every man’s head but you’ll get your fair share of attention when you rely on your feminine charm.
Then know not to read into situations. They have to play out and if the pursuit is not consistent, know then to walk away with dignity. You deserve a man who knows you are a great catch and does what it takes to win you over.
My dating advice for you is not to read into a conversation has indicating anything. If it was fun – good enjoy it. Just realize the only thing that matters is did the man ask you out? If not, stop talking to him after seven days and move on. This way you’ll be assured of not holding out or wasting time waiting around for a man who has not proved his interest.
This applies to texting, emailing, talking on the phone, facetime, social media and even flirting. If you feel there might be something there then wait two weeks if you must, but never more. And two weeks is really one week too long.
Okay, now get back out there – there are so many men to meet and the right one is waiting for you.
Wishing you love,