How Men Think: 3 Things Midlife Men Want in a Woman

how men thinkTrying to figure out how men think can be taxing for single midlife women. You strain to understand what midlife men are thinking and what is behind their behavior.

That’s why I interviewed a panel of men over 50 to ask them some pretty pointed questions about dating love and women. Their answers were pleasantly surprising.

What I discovered was that many midlife men are looking for lasting love. Not all men just want a roll in the hay and plenty actually want to date women their own age.

Here are the top three things midlife men look for in a new partner:

1. Attraction.
This is not about being a bathing beauty, super slim or gorgeous even though you guess that’s how men think. In fact, while men may fantasize about those model-like perfect women, they know they aren’t going to date one.

Let’s face it – we women fantasize about the perfect hot guy too. It’s normal for both genders.

So what do they want in a new partner regarding looks? They want a woman who takes time with her appearance. Gray or died hair doesn’t matter. On the other hand, a little makeup does. An up-to-date look and  and a bit of style in your clothing also let a man know you care about your personal presentation.

2. Happy Personality.
Midlife men want a woman who is already happy and not one hoping a man will make her happy. To them it feels like lot of pressure. When you are happy the way you are and want to add to your life with a relationship, that is the best possible scenario. (This is true for men too.)

Women who are cheerful and positive are more appealing and honestly, doesn’t that make sense? After all you don’t want to date Danny Downer anymore than men want to date Debbie Downer.

When you meet a new guy, be smart about how you talk about your life. It’s just like a job interview – you want to present your best side, no matter what kind of day you’ve had.  So don’t talk about how hard dating is, how mean men are, or about your horrid ex, the same way you wouldn’t bash your current or last boss during an interview.

[For more similarities about job hunting and dating, check out my book Job Search = Love: Search 10 Career Strategies that Help You find Love Too]

3. Available. 
Yes, men want to date women who are available. Everyone is busy – men and women, but men don’t want to chase you down for a date. They don’t want to feel like you are squeezing them into your insane schedule even if that’s true. That’s how men think. (You don’t want to feel that way either right?)

To find love, you have to find time available during your week and in your calendar and make this a priority. If you put a man off for two weeks to meet for coffee or a meal, you are letting him know he’ll never be your priority.

Just like you want a man who makes you feel important in his life, men want the very same thing. That’s why I tell my clients they have to find time. If you don’t have time to date, you don’t have time for a relationship either. A relationship probably takes more time!

Find a way to see a man within a few days of his request when possible if you want to keep him interested. Just do the best you can.

Given these top three priorities for the qualities sought in a single midlife woman, I hope you feel more hopeful and positive. Why? Because my bet is, you have what you need to attract that quality man you desire!

If you want to learn more about midlife dating and better understanding men, why fill not out an application for a Dating Discovery Session and schedule an appointment? We’ll talk by phone or Skype for 30-minutes to get to know each other and find out if coaching might be for you.

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