Find Love: Spot Good Men Vs. Scary Monsters

You’ll Find Love When You Stop Thinking Every Man Is Frankenstein

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I know how hard it can be to find love with a good man. I understand when women complain to me that the men out there are terrible.  They just want one thing. The lie and cheat. They scam. All the good ones are taken and what’s left are scary monsters like Frankenstein (OK, Halloween is on my mind.)

I walked in your shoes being a single woman over 40. But I was lucky. I had access to so methods that helped me open my mind and turn my negative thinking around.

One of the biggest challenges I faced was believing a good man was out there for me and I could find love. Let me tell you I worked at it. I used every exercise and mind trick I knew to shift this pattern that surely would have crippled my search for  love.

AND I DID IT! Not only did I manage to keep an open mind about the men I met and stay positive during the dating journey, but I also met an adorable man and we’ve been happily married to for 16 years.

Yes, it’s worth the effort! I know you can find love to. Heck if I did it, any woman can! Here are three empowering mind exercises to help you find more good men out there and skip over those scary monsters.

1. Practice Looking for the Good in Men

When you notice men walking past you on the street, instead of ignoring them or internally criticizing them, take a moment to wonder to yourself, “Hey, why does that man’s girlfriend/wife love him? What does he have to offer his woman? What does he do to make her feel special?”

This is a very powerful method to shift your thinking and does take some practice. Don’t feel bad if you quickly fall back to thinking he’s not dressed well, or is losing his hair, or whatever you might usually think. It’s normal that making this shift in thought process will take time. So commit to trying this exercise and be gentle with yourself as you start to notice all the negativity that might come up when you try to think positively.

2. Smile at One New Man Every Day

That means you will need to look up, face forward and think about your surroundings to notice a man to smile at. It could be as easy as catching on to who is smiling at you and just returning the favor 🙂

Many women are totally task-focused and in your own world as you hurry to get stuff done. So you don’t even notice a man looking at you or smiling. Or your normal instinct is to look away as fast as possible because you rather not engage. Neither of these instincts will help you connect with good men.

You cannot imagine the positive changes that happen when I convince a client to smile at men. Results are consistently remarkable!

3. Notice Happy Couples

You might think this is counterproductive to notice happy couples. They have what you want and that will make you envy them and feel bad. But look at this another way. Once you see there are happy couples in the world you’ll realize if they can find love, you can too! You are no different than other people and you are as worthy as anyone else.

When you spot happy couples, leverage their happy energy by saying to yourself, “Love does exist! I want what they have!” This is not at all like envy or jealousy. It’s a higher level where you lift your own energy to the level of your desire. Your desire is for love and that is a higher vibration. Seeing happy couples can help you lift your energy to be like that right now.

According to the Law of Attraction, like attracts like. So when you lift your energy to the level of happy couples in love – you are now like the energy you want to attract! Bingo that’s what makes you more magnetic to find love.

Yes, You Can Make This Work for You!

Shift your mind away from negative chatter that men are scary monsters this Halloween or any time. GOOD MEN ARE OUT THERE. When you believe that and start to notice men, your chance to find love skyrockets!

Happy Halloween!




Photo Credit: Chop Shop Garage



Single for too long, Ronnie wanted to find love. So, she made a few tweaks and then dated 30 men in 15 months to meet her adorable husband Paul. Discovering the keys to midlife dating, she founded It’s Never Too Late for Love to help other smart, successful women find love too! Her mission is to share her proven dating advice  and keen insights about men with women everywhere who are serious about finding love with the right man. Ronnie Ann Ryan, MBA, CCC is a Certified Coach who has helped 1,000’s of midlife women with her Love & Dating Coach services. She’s been featured on BBC’s 5 Live Radio, NBC, ABC, and Fox News, NPR, eHarmony,,, Connecticut Magazine among others around the world. An established author, you can find her 6 books on Amazon.

2 thoughts on “Find Love: Spot Good Men Vs. Scary Monsters”

  1. Hello Ronnie, I recently met a man on line. (10 days approx)

    Since the day he contacted me, we’ve been talking on the phone at least 3 times a day. Our chemistry is really good and we just clicked.

    We met the next day we were both available and we had lots of fun.

    On our first date he wasn’t feeling well and was visibly uncomfortable due to his stomach.

    He went even further and mentioned that he will take his profile off the dating site. I checked and he did. (I cannot find his profile at all)

    I felt bad and suggested that we leave. In the car I suggested we go to his house where he could have all his amenities “just in case”.

    He took me home in the AM and showed no rush to get “rid” of me.

    Yes, things happen however, that didn’t scare him away and he remained consistent.

    He even invited me to a party he attends every year, which is going to take place in a few weeks.

    We are going to see each other again this week end.

    So you might say “what’s the problem”?….and here are my questions:

    1. Is it really possible that he is just a genuine nice guy or is he a con artist.

    2. He hasn’t given me any reason so far to think that he is dishonest. How can I tell?

    3. Does all of this mean that we are dating?…(recently divorced after being married for 15 years so not sure about dating these days)

    4. Am I over-thinking this a bit too much?

    • Hi Amanda,
      My posts aren’t really the place to get dating advice directly from me but I will share a bit of my thoughts. 1. I tell my clients to avoid the rush. Often men who rush you just want to get you into bed. 2. NEVER go to a man’s house who you don’t know. This could put you at great risk and I am relieved that you are safe and sound. 3. Only time can tell if he’s a scam artist or for real. But I have found that less is more. I advise you not to have that much communication daily – this leads to a false belief that you know him – but only time helps you get to know a person – seeing consistency over time. 4. Yes, you are over thinking this. There is no way to know if he is real without spending time with him and observing his behavior. 5. Slow down, get to know him, and don’t fully trust him until he proves over weeks and weeks that he is the real deal. All men are not bad – many are good. But its best not to fully put all your eggs in one basket until you know him better.

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