Online dating is an amazing tool to meet singles at any age. But over 50, it’s the #1 way singles meet today. That’s a huge statement! Have you tried it yet?
Online Dating – Are Your Expectations Realistic?
The thing about online dating is that it’s not as obvious to find love as you might think. Many of my clients who were online before working with me didn’t like it or claim to have failed miserably. The biggest reason is that they didn’t do the research or take time to learn what what really works.
If you are going to try online dating, I want you to be successful. I want you to meet good men and find the right one for you. In order to do this, you have to be open to learning what works, what to expect and what will ruin your chances.. I’m going to share several important tips that can change your online dating experience forever.
Warning: Can you open your mind for the next 2-minutes to take in this information, digest it and start applying it? I hope so. These tips are about the biggest site, Match.com, but can also work on other similar formatted sites. My intention is to make your dating life easier. To do that, you need to be smarter about a few things. Take a deep breath. Get ready. Go.
1. Expect a Low Response Rate.
Yes, most people who connect with people through the site’s email system experience a low response rate. So if you only get one or two responses for every ten you send, that’s about average for most people online. Expect only a few people to answer and you wont’ be devastatingly disappointed. This IS how it works for everyone.
2. Expect Men to Be Seeing Other Women.
Most people do not date one person at a time. I’m talking about dating which is the first 6-10 dates. After that you are usually into some type of relationship, even if it’s casual. Most singles understand that it’s important to meet a lot of people to help you figure out who has the most long-term potential.
Dating more than one man is an excellent strategy because you don’t have a clue who will want a second or third date. Sometimes they disappear after an awesome date that you both seemed to enjoy. You are hedging your bets to date more than one man. When you find a man you like who continues to pursue you, call and ask you out, then you can let the others start to drop away.
3. Expect the “Wrong Men” Will Contact You.
There is no way to filter out men who find you attractive but you don’t see them as a good match. They will wink and email you in droves if you have good photos and a good profile. These men appreciate who you are as a woman. Take this as flattery, let it build your ego and then simple delete them.
If you try to narrow the types of men who contact you, you will stop the flow. That’s just how it works. Women try to weed men out in their profiles by saying, “No couch potatoes”, or “You must like to ski” or “No players please”. Sadly, these statements make you sound demanding, difficult or picky to the GOOD MEN who read your profile so you lose out on them too.
Don’t get all upset about the wrong guys. Instead, focus on the good men who show up in your inbox and delete the others without a second thought.
4. Expect Some Men Only Want to Get You into Bed.
This is the reality of dating and it’s no worse online than meeting men any other way. Some men want to find love and a relationship. Others want sex. So what?
Be smart and don’t sleep with men right away so you can weed out the players from the men who actually want to get to know you. And if you are in a situation that seems too good to be true, slow it down to see if he sticks around. Wait 5 to 6 or even 7 to 8 dates before becoming intimate to guard your heart. You never know who will want to see you again so waiting is smart.
5. Expect to Discover a Scammer or Two.
OK, there are a few scammers out there, but it’s a VERY small percentage compared to the regular online population. The media hypes this because it’s their job to create a sensation. It sells papers, gains viewers and listeners.
Scammers might use tricks like long, romantic sounding profiles. Men who boldly say they want the love of a good woman. They want to talk on the phone quickly. text a lot or email. They tell you why they can’t meet – the newest scam is claiming to be on a military mission so they can’t visit you. Or they ask you for a small loan due to an unforeseen emergency.
Don’t believe any sob stories. Don’t lend money. Don’t give out your home phone number – you call men the first time and dial *67 prior to making the call which blocks his caller ID. Don’t give out your last name, street address or where you work. Follow these simple safety rules and you’ll be absolutely fine.
Learn How to Find Love Online
My heart goes out to women who suffer through online dating because they don’t get the education needed to leverage this method. Being misinformed causes all sorts of problems and disappointments. To succeed and find love, learn what you need to know, smarten up, apply the new knowledge and be patient.
One excellent resource is my home study course How to Sizzle vs. Fizzle Online. You can learn at home on your own time and become very smart about online dating to make the most of this essential tool to meet singles, especially singles over 50.