Curious about how men think? What makes them act the way they do? Feel confused? You are not alone! Learn about understanding men in this insightful post
Hi Dating Coach Ronnie,
I recently went on two dates with this guy. After the second date I was away for a week, but we kept texting. When I came back he suggested meeting up again, but I couldn’t make it. After that I suggested meeting up and he couldn’t make it. This happened another time or two.
We kept texting, but still no date which started to give me the impression he just wasn’t too interested. I decided to text and asked him if this was the case and let him know that it was fine but I would like to know. I expected him to reply and give his excuses on why he didn’t want to meet up. Instead He replied saying he did want to meet up hence the reason he had tried to arrange a date, but that I was busy.
I replied saying that was a fair point, but that I needed more notice to meet. He did not respond to that and the following day I sent him a photo of something random, but again no response. It’s now been nearly 5 days since he’s been in contact and I am mega confused…help me! I can’t text him again. I don’t get why he didn’t give some sort of excuse. What does this mean?
Thanks for your help,
Mega Confused in Minnesota
I know it’s not easy to understand how men think. Women write to me every day to ask me questions like yours. What really causes the confusion is trying to understand men by thinking like a woman. So I’ll help you start to catch on to what is really going on behind the scenes in a man’s mind.
Timing Is Everything
I don’t want to make you feel bad that you weren’t available, but that can be a problem. Men don’t respond well to a woman who is too busy.
I don’t know the details and maybe he did need to give you more time. However, I do want to share what I know about men. There is definitely a “shelf life” to attraction. It only lasts so long so you want to make yourself available. You have a few days to a week tops before he gets distracted by all the other women online or on the dating apps.
Suggest Another Time
Now, I’m not saying you should jump and cancel plans to be with him. That doesn’t work either, especially if he’s one of those spontaneous guys who never plans. But when you can’t make it, the best thing to do is suggest another time when you let him know the current invitation doesn’t work for you. This gives him the positive feedback he needs that you really are interested.
When you go back and forth too many times, its a turn off. So whenever you can avoid that scenario, it’s a good thing.
How Men Communicate
Frankly, I’m surprised he mentioned anything about how you weren’t available. Most men just move on without saying a word. That’s one reason women never hear from a man again. Most men don’t like drama or struggle so they move on to find a woman who is available.
That said, it might not have worked out anyway. You gave him a shot, he made his point and still no date manifested. It happens…all the time. So don’t stress about it. He just wasn’t feeling it any more.
Men don’t like to be the bad guy. They don’t want to be honest and hurt a woman’s feelings either. That’s just how men communicate. So most often, they fade away. In longer relationships, some men start acting mean or difficult hoping the woman will break things off so they don’t have to do it.
The only thing that matters is he isn’t trying to set up a date. Why provide excuses when he can just move on? So, the case is closed, over and done with. When a man doesn’t respond it only means one thing – he’s simply not interested.
Now you’ll never have to be confused again when a man doesn’t respond. The truth is, if you have to ask a man if he’s still interested, HE”S NOT. You’ll know he’s not when a he doesn’t set up the next date, even if he keeps texting you for months. That means absolutely nothing. You might still have other questions, but it really is that simple when it comes to how men think.
Wishing you love,