Read about the pros and cons of online dating tips for women regarding your age and how many years you can safely fudge without raising a red flag.
People lie. They lie online about several things. men lie about an inch or two of height. Women lie about 8 lbs. of weight. And everyone lies about their age. These are statistically the most common lies with online dating and dating apps so you should expect that many people will “fudge” a little here and there. After all, what’s an inch or 8 lbs. among friends?
But when it comes to your age, how many years should you lie about? Common practice says that two or three years aren’t really a big deal. But where do you draw the line? How much is too much to lie about?
I want too share one of my own personal stories. I met men through personal ads that ran in the newspaper. They were really fun to read even if you weren’t dating. I placed my own ads so the men applied to my inbox for dates. Honestly, I met some fabulous men doing this. Combined with singles dances and blind dates, I dated 30 men in 15 months to meet the man who became my husband. Thursday, May 5th we’ll be married for 16 happy years.
Paul, my husband, was the 30th man I dated. But number 29 was a really nice guy too. We got along well and had fun together. Until one night when I saw his driver’s license. Instead of being three years younger than me as he had told me, he was 6 years younger. That surprised me.
I asked why he lied about his age. He was already younger than me so what was the point? He told me he was afraid I wouldn’t meet him if I knew his real age. Trouble is, this little white lie left me wondering what else he might have fibbed about.
OK maybe it’s just me. But, I don’t think so. Many people will start to wonder about a person’s ability to be truthful.
Stretching the Truth – Online Dating Tips for Women
Several of my clients are on the far side of 40 and have taken to stretching the truth from five and to as much as seven years. They insist men won’t contact them if they admit to being over 45. They claim the way men search, most only sort from 30 to 40 and no one will sort 35 – 45. How accurate is that concept?
Let’s look at how this works in reality. Sharon, a stunning blonde of 45 says she’s 38 on Tinder and Match. She won’t even consider admitting to being a day over 40. We talked about how a seven year “fudge factor” will seem to a man she just met and how she planned to tell him.
OK, in all fairness, maybe it will diminish a small percentage of hits. But how much? No one can say for sure. But some men must be looking for women who are 40 – 50 right? Sharon would certainly fit right in that search bracket. My online dating tips for women and in particular for Sharon was not to lie about seven years.
Online Dating Tips for Women – What’s Your Age Tolerance?
Let’s turn the tables about these online dating tips for women concerning age. How would you feel if you met a man who was 50, and discovered he was really 57? Should he tell you that in the body of his profile, during the first phone call or first date? Should he wait longer and tell you on date three or after you two become exclusive?
People have different tolerance levels for this sort of thing. To me, seven years is a heck of a lot to fudge. Imagine what it will be like to make this admission. If it’s on the first phone call, he might not meet you. If you tell him on the first date you might not get a second.
Let’s say you hold off and tell him after a few weeks when he has started to really get to know you and like you. You might be tempted to think that’s a lot safer because now he’s sort of invested in you. Maybe he’ll take it better after you sleep with him. But will he? That’s a big risk if you ask me.
You could be planting a seed that could cause him to always have trust issues. Once you start a relationship with a lie, that sets a precedent. Wouldn’t it be better to start closer to the truth? Anyone can cheat about 3 little years, but 7 or 10? That will detract from you being thought of as a person of integrity.
I understand women look fantastic. Many of my clients tell me they look 15 years younger than they are or more. I think they are kidding themselves a little. I get how you could really look 10 years younger. But 15 or 20 is pushing it. Maybe you are lying to yourself. OK maybe with a good camera lens you could look 20 years younger, but not up close. There are telltale signs some where on your body.
Age is a fact of life. I have to deal with it too. We all do. No one escapes this problem unless they die young. All I’m suggesting is you to get a little closer to the truth and spread a little less fudge around. I want the men you date to trust you and want to stick with you. Don’t risk the love of a good man by starting things off with a whopper of a lie.
For more online dating tips for women and getting great photos, click here