First Date Tips: How long should there be between meeting online and the first date to keep a man’s interest? Is two weeks too long before?
Dear Dating Coach Ronnie,
I am having a tough time meeting men online. My life is very busy with a demanding job. Add working out, checking in on my elderly parents, basic house chores and then socializing with friends, not much time is left for dating.
Please tell me what you think about this situation. I’ve been chatting with men online. I visit the site a couple of times a week when I can. This one man caught my attention and we ended up talking on the phone. The conversation went really well and he wanted to meet me. The week he asked was super busy at work and then the next week my mom was ill which took my time and attention. So I suggested the next weekend.
I was so bummed when he wrote back that he had met another woman and only wants to date one person at a time. I am so disappointed that he found someone else and didn’t wait to meet me. Is two weeks too long to wait for a first date?
Thanks for your answer,
Dear Sally Ann,
I have two important first date tips for you.
1. A Man’s Attention Is Fleeting. Yes, unfortunately two weeks is too long to wait for a first date once a man has asked. There is a definite shelf life for a man’s attention, especially for online dating when meeting someone for the first time. We live in an age of drive-through service and immediate access. People expect instant gratification, even in dating.
Think about it from the man’s perspective. If it takes two weeks just to meet you, how long will it take to see you the next time? Are you showing him that you are too busy? He may wonder if scheduling time to see you will be a problem. How will he feel important if you have no time to even meet him?
There are plenty of other women out there who are available, so don’t spoil things before they start by putting off your first date.
2. Make Love a Priority. I know this might not seem easy, but you have to find a way to make room in your life for love. This is true even for a 60 or 90-minute coffee date. I understand your life is busy, but if finding love is your priority, then you need to make yourself available.
When you are not available, you are not putting your best foot forward energetically. You are sending him and the Universe a loud and clear message – I have no time to date. Lots of women tell me this and have a hard time fitting dating coaching sessions into their busy schedules. But, if you don’t have time for coaching or dating, the truth is you don’t have time for a relationship either.
Relationships can take even more time than dating and you’ll want to spend quality time with your partner. So if you want to find a loving relationship, make time to date. Something else will always come up. Either love is a priority or it’s not.
3. Are you Interested or Committed? Sometimes not having time is a reflection of a lack of commitment on your part. People who are interested in finding love often get distracted or have excuses for not doing what it takes.
On the other hand, people who are committed to finding love, keep their promises to themselves. They follow through and stay active. And they find love. So you might want to ask yourself which one you are – interested or committed.
Wishing you love,