Does He Like Me? He Calls, But Doesn’t Make Dates

Wondering, “Does he like me?” That’s your first clue he’s probably not serious about you. Here’s my dating advice to this reader having this very problem.

Does He Like Me“Dear Dating Coach Ronnie,

I’m confused about a fella I’m in touch with the past few months. He told me he liked me over a year ago and wanted to be with me even though I was going out with a friend of his. Just before Christmas my relationship broke up not because of the friend but we just weren’t getting on.

When we broke up, his friend asked me out for a drink. I didn’t because it was way too quick after breaking up -three weeks. Later I agreed to meet him, we went out and had a great night. We met another night again and things were great. Over the last month we talked nearly every day. But when it comes near the weekend, he asks have I any plans and neither of us have.

Two weeks in a row I asked him if he wanted to do something on the Sunday and he said he would if he wasn’t busy. Sunday evening came and got a call or text saying he wouldn’t be able to make it. He was busy at home and it would be late when he’d finish up his work.

What do you suggest I do? I really like him and I’, wondering does he like me? I think he has interest or he wouldn’t be ringing 5 -7 times a week or texting.

Please help!
Lost in London”

Hi Lost,

You ask, “Does he like me?” but the real question is would a man who likes you act this way? This man is stringing you along. If he wanted a long-term relationship, he’d want to see you on the weekends. In fact, his behavior makes me wonder if he has another woman or why wouldn’t he spend time with you over the weekend.

He is clearly non-committal because he won’t even agree to see you when you ask him out. He says he’ll see if he’s busy. Never put up with that kind of evasive response. . Either he wants to see you or not. Then he conveniently responds Sunday night when the weekend is over saying he’s busy. Don’t believe it! He is busy – with another woman or avoiding you. Either way, that’s not how a man in love behaves.

When a man calls several times a week to talk, he’s looking for emotional support. Women often feel this has meaning and assume he must be interested. Why else would he spend so much time ringing? Well, he could be…

  • Emotionally cheating without physically cheating
  • Boosting his ego
  • Enjoying the fantasy
  • Or he might need emotional support but doesn’t have what it takes t be in a genuine relationship

 

Women fall for his attention via telephone (or text or email) hoping he will eventually love them and become the available man they want. That never happens. Either a man is available or he isn’t. But men don’t change their ways and become suddenly available or the man of your dreams. Men who are truly interested, don’t leave you hanging or wondering, “Does he like me?”

This kind of “relationship” is a waste of your precious time.

There are two ways you can handle this.

  1. If you are smart and strong, you’ll dump him immediately. That’s because you know you deserve better. You know he’s not the one and there are better men out there. You are determined not to accept any relationship crumbs from a man in the hopes that things will improve with time. You won’t look back because you know there is nothing there.
  2. Or, if you want to test these waters, stop talking to him nightly. Some nights just don’t answer the phone and other nights pick up and say you are too busy to talk. Mix up your excuses for about a week. If he doesn’t disappear or wants to know what is going on, say something like, “If you want to talk, let’s do it in person. Are you free Saturday night?” If he still can’t see you on the weekend, follow my first suggestion and move on.

So, in answer to the question of, “Does he like me?” my advice is that this is not the man for you. You want a man who wants to spend face-to-face time with you. Quality time doing fun things. Sharing life and kisses. You can’t do any of that by phone.

Wishing you love,

does he like me

 

 

6 responses on “Does He Like Me? He Calls, But Doesn’t Make Dates

  1. Ronnie Ann Ryan Post author

    Hi Sarah, Your question was interesting with many aspects of dating so I posted your response on the blog

  2. Sarah H

    Hi Ronnie,

    I met the guy I’m currently seeing five years ago. We casually dated back then and then started seeing each other about a month ago. We have gone on two dates, one being a social outing for my brother’s birthday. We talk on the phone every single night before we go to bed. These calls range from 5 min to 1+ hours. Due to our busy work schedules we can’t see each other during the week, so we usually always end up talking on the phone if we can…However, I’m becoming frustrated with the limited to no time we are spending together face to face. I love your blog and wanted to get your advice on this…

    Sincerely,
    Busy girl

  3. Ronnie Ann Ryan Post author

    Good for you Leah! Now you know not to waste your time holding to be asked out again in this way. After 10 days without a second date, move on.

  4. Leah R.

    Thanks, this really helped in with my current situation. I will also follow the just divorced rule as well which also pertained to my situation.

    He’s always texting. We’ve been “talking” for over three months now and have only gone on one date. He cancelled our second date because his ex-mother in law was in town. I blew up at him and he stopped talking to me until Monday morning. Then it was back to just business as usual. I asked him why he just ignored my comment. He said he was surprised because he’d only asked me out three times and one time I had to decline. This was a real eye opener for me. I realized I was doing all the asking and getting nothing but rejection. I’ve finally stopped initiating any kind of contact with him. He still texts me occasionally but less and less now. Good riddance! I feel so much less anxiety now understanding he’s just a time waster!

  5. Mary Lafrance

    …Men who are truly interested, don’t leave you hanging or wondering, “Does he like me?”

    This kind of “relationship” is a waste of your precious time.

    I couldn’t agree more with you Ronnie! We sometime love to justify their lack of “not being able to show up” in hope they’ll turn around.. but such a behavior in an early stage of their dating life clearly tells that she should dump his @#4 🙂

    Love your site btw, found you via twitter !

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *