As Valentine’s Day approaches, I wanted to share my own story, how finding love changed the direction of my life, and how this experience can help you too.
When I woke up on my 40th birthday, I was completely distraught to still be single. In my youth I thought for sure I’d be married and have children. Needless to say, I figured the best thing to do was accept my fate of being single the rest of my life.
A few months later, I found myself extremely angry about living solo. This prompted me to take action like I had never done before. I took a hard look at myself for the first time to understand what I was doing that got in the way of finding love. I asked a few trusted girlfriends what they thought, and I got a surprising earful.
Turns out my friends felt I wasn’t open to men or dating. They gave me specific examples of where this showed up. So, I had to look deeper into my heart to see why I had kept myself single. I realized that I was still harboring wounds from my last boyfriend nearly 20 years earlier and it was time to wake up! I had let the clock tick by on my life and had stopped making any effort about a life goal I thought was essential. Then in a flash, I was 40.
I started reading like crazy; books about dating and finding love, as well as how to become more positive and attract what I wanted. New ideas influenced me as I started shifting my thinking. I worked to open my heart. Then I did something I swore I would never do again – all the singles activities that I totally hated. But this time, I tried them with a fresh outlook and an open mind.
It’s incredible what a good dose of positivity and determination can do to turn a life challenge around. In just 15 months, I dated 30 men and met the man I married in May of 2000. Everyone, including my parents, had given up hope for me too, so it was quite a celebration.
However, that’s not the life change I’m referring too, although certainly a significant turn of events. This entire experience left me bursting to share what I had learned with other single women who wanted to find love too. I enrolled in coaching training and learned the skills I use today to help successful single women (and a few men) around the world date smarter, understand men, and attract love into their lives.
Over the last 14 years, I have seen everything you can imagine regarding dating. Many of my clients have been successful using my proven methods and have gotten married or into the long-term relationship they dreamed of. Nothing could be more rewarding for me as their dating coach.
One woman in her mid 50’s had two boys with severe learning disabilities. She felt certain with that kind of baggage, she’d never find a man. But she was married last fall. Another woman in her 50’s was widowed early in life and felt she’d had the love of her life and would never find that again. But she did, and is marrying this coming spring. (I’ve been invited!)
Another woman, 47 and never married, was overweight and sick of dating. She worried that in California, where everyone is thin and health conscious, she wouldn’t be attractive enough to connect with a good man. In just two months, she found the perfect man for her and is in a wonderful, loving relationship.
What do these women have in common (besides working with me)? They were every bit as determined as I was. They opened their hearts, minds, and eyes to notice men and date them. They stuck to their commitment to find love, did the inner work and followed through to get out to mingle. They tried ways to meet singles they might not have loved, but knew could deliver results.
Finding love after 40 is completely possible. People of all ages find love every day. So much of your romantic destiny is up to you. Go for it! Give it all you’ve got. No one ever looked back on dating after finding the right match to think, “What a waste of time that was.” I believe in love and I know you can find it too.