Dating After Divorce:Tips on to Find a Good Match
Whether you are dating after divorce or have never been married, by the time you get to be 40, dating is a lot different than when you were 22. What you want and need have likely changed. Read on to find out how you can meet significantly more men to find a good match for you.
1) Get real about his income and success
Your needs as a woman change depending on your age and life stage. When you are young and thinking of starting a family, finding a man with the potential to be a good provider is very important. You want a guy who floats your boat but will also make a good father and lifetime partner.
So you look at his job, his level of success or projected success, his education, and his family among other things. As you get older and past starting a family, you may still want a successful man. But does he really need to match or exceed you own success? You might think so, but the truth is, as long as he is financially stable, can take care of his own needs and share in your lifestyle, won’t that do?
Many successful women eliminate countless men who would be excellent matches because they don’t make an equivalent salary. This is a shame. Don’t overlook a man who makes $100,000 because you make $250,000. He could be a fabulous, loving partner with a good education even if his investment portfolio isn’t as rich as yours.
One of my favorite couples is a woman who has a Harvard MBA who is married to a man who is a talented carpenter. This is her second marriage and is dramatically happier than her first marriage, to a man who also went to Harvard.
2) If you aren’t religious, soften this requirement
If you are not big on practicing your religion, why limit yourself to finding a man who is of the same faith? Maybe you attend services only on holidays. Some men will attend with you to make you happy. Others don’t mind slight differences if your religions are similarly based (example – there are so many Christian sects).
When religion isn’t a big part of your life and you are not going to be bringing up children together, relaxing this requirement opens the door to meet a lot more men.
3) Consider dating men who are average looking
Everyone who lives long enough will age. Some may spend a fortune on corrective surgery and non-invasive procedures to resist this eventuality.
People also look to their partner to keep them feeling youthful. That’s why men have dated younger women for eons. Now that women are financially independent and powerful, many want that same privilege. As a result, many women want to date men who are younger, close to their own age and still really good looking.
As your dating coach, I’m not here to tell you that you can’t do this. But when you limit the men you meet to only hot guys, you increase the odds of competition and limit your success. Yes you do! While most women would like to date a very attractive man, what are the odds of winning him over and keeping him all to yourself? This is how you pit yourself against younger women and sadly, often lose.
Relaxing your standards to include more average looking men will do wonders for your dating life. I’m not suggesting you date men who you find unattractive. That’s ridiculous. However. being willing to see a man as a total package provides you with so many more prospects and will help you connect with a solid partner.
A handsome man isn’t a sure thing for being loyal, kind, generous, or a loving partner. Relaxing this superficial requirement allows you to get to know men who aren’t players, charmers and womanizers. Not all good looking men are rotten, but they sure have advantages when it comes to women. Since they can have their pick, many don’t want to settle down with one.
Dating After Divorce to Find Love
As a dating coach for women who are over 40, you will find these three tips can make a world of difference in your romantic success. When you relax your more stringent standards about money, religion and looks, you open yourself to a much bigger pool of applicants. Some of the best matches I know of are couples who come from different backgrounds. To be happy, you don’t need a man whose life is just like yours. Viva la difference!
Photo Credit: JanneM