If you find yourself wondering, “Is he the one?” you are questioning your compatibility and long-term potential. This is actually a smart step in the dating process, and it will probably come to mind multiple times, even while you are dating the same guy. The more you learn about a person, the better you can determine if he’s right for you.
Years ago, I read an interesting article from the Sydney Morning Herald Blog discussing why dating sucks and exposing the “The Hugh Jackman Syndrome”. That was a new one on me and I had to read more to find out the basis for this new dating syndrome.
I was quite stunned to discover that an Aussie dating coach was instructing women to kick any man to the curb who doesn’t mimic Hugh Jackman’s behavior in the movie Kate and Leopold. Leopold is a handsome, charming, chivalrous duke who needs to marry immediately to solve his financial troubles. However, he rails against tradition and what is expected of him.
In the next scene he falls through a hole in time and ends up in modern day New York City to meet Kate, business woman extraordinaire. Of course they fall in love, but it’s difficult given their vastly different ways of living. They do manage to work it out and all is right with the world as love wins out.
I admit that I am a huge fan of this romantic comedy. I’m embarrassed to say how many times I’ve watched it to tell the truth. I could watch it again any time because of the romance, history and time travel – three of my favorite themes.
Is He the One in the Movies or Real Life?
But, we all know it’s just a movie right? Yes, I believe in romance and that a man should treat a woman well. Yet, you need to stay in the real world or this “syndrome” could result in staying single. I recommend my clients know how they want to be treated and never accept crumbs. Yet, can you really hold modern day man up to the standards of Victorian times or the behavior of a movie character? Not if you want to find love now.
In my opinion, the dating coach from this article is giving women seriously bad advice that will surely sabotage your path to love. If you insist on a man who treats you like Leopold, you will be impossible to please and no one in real life with satisfy you.
Discernment is Essential for Finding a Compatible Partner
I talk with my clients about the need for discernment and how it’s very important to know what personality qualities you want and who is compatible. Knowing what works for you can be a huge help in figuring out if he is the one, or if you need to move on. And quite often, the faster you recognize Mr. Wrong, the less time you waste with him.
On the other hand, you need to give people a chance and be realistic about what is possible. If you insist on a chivalrous, charming man who dotes on you, and is ready to give you anything your heart desires, you could be living in a fantasy world hoping for a fairy tale romance. However, you won’t have your feet on the ground in the reality of 2016.
By all means, enjoy the movies. Just remember it’s make believe. Stay real with your expectations and get out there to find the love you want. If you are still wondering is he the one?, check out these 12 signs to know you’ve got a keeper.