Understanding men can be confusing, especially when you’re just starting to date someone new. Your priority is to figure out if a man is really interested, or just wants to get into your pants. This post has tips to help you.
Understanding Men – Does he Like Me or Want to Sleep with Me?
This is an age old question that plagues single women of any age. How can you tell if his interest in you is genuine or just a desire to get in bed you? For many single gals, once you sleep with a guy, you hope things will continue and blossom into a loving relationship. Yet, you fear being used, and have had it with men who never call again. Then you wonder why men disappear.
This can be emotionally draining and painful one time, but when it has happened several times, you want this situation to never crop up again.
Understanding men is not so easy. But I do have several signs to watch for that will tip you off if he’s just after a roll in the hay.
1. Let’s Get a Pizza and Watch a Movie. What could be wrong with this date idea? Absolutely nothing if you’ve already slept together and its later in dating. This is not a second or third date though, unless you want to sleep with him. Then, go for it. Pizza and a movie is his way of getting into your home. Keep dates outside your home or your date’s at the start of things to avoid intimacy.
2. She Shut Me Out. Sometimes a divorced man will lament how cold his wife was. She was never in the mood, or had a lot of headaches. This is all too much information at the beginning of dating. He is sharing this with one goal in mind – to play on your sympathy and get you into bed. Don’t fall for this nonsense. You are not the solution to his previous marital problems, even if the story is true.
3. I’m a Great Cook He claims to be a wonderful cook and can’t wait to prepare a meal for you. Sounds so sweet doesn’t it? Well, if you fall for this line, count on being his dessert. This is simply a rouse to get you into his home. As with the first example, stay outside the home until you are ready for intimacy.
4. Mr. Romance. You can’t believe this is happening to you. This guy is SO awesome and seems really into you. He says things like he’s met so many women but you are the one he’s been looking for. You are suddenly in this whirlwind romance that feels too good to be true, and IT IS. Take a step back because there is no reason to rush into bed. Keep your head on your shoulders and your feet on the ground. Watch for consistent pursuit over a few weeks before you hop in the sack and are sorry.
5. Let Me Pick You Up. His chivalrous request to pick you up for date #2 or 3 seems appealing. Just don’t let him in the house. This could be a nice guy or a man who wants to sleep with you (or both!). If you meet a man online, meet him some place public for the first few dates. This is a safety precaution, and a way to ensure you don’t decide to go for it when he drops you off. Also, don’t invite him in for a nightcap unless you are ready to sleep with him.
6. Foot in the Door. This is a variation of method #5 to get into your home and happened recently to one of my clients. She lives in a big city and when her date asked if he could pick her up at her place, she said OK. She figured she’d just meet him in the lobby.
Being a big city, he was using public transportation and not his own car. He had his brief case with him and asked if he could put it upstairs in her apartment so he didn’t need to carry it around all day. She wasn’t sure what to do, so to be nice she said yes. This gave him easy access to go up with her at the end of the date. Luckily, when things got heated on the couch later and she asked him to go, he was a gentleman and left. So, meet your date in a public place for the first few dates.
Keep Your Eyes and Ears Open
To out fox a man who just wants a little something, keep your eyes open for these six seduction methods. Even nice guys might be guilty of using a few of these tactics. The best way to avoid the heartbreak of a “sleep and run” guy is to put off intimacy for as long as you can stand it. Try waiting six dates if you can or longer. Even better, wait until you agree on exclusivity. His continued pursuit without sleeping with you can be a good sign of genuine interest.
If you do sleep with a man who disappears, don’t be hard on yourself. Sometimes a roll in the hay is just what you need to reconnect with desire and keep dating to find love. If you had fun, be glad of that and vow to be smarter next time.
When it comes to understanding men, I’ve got plenty of savvy strategies to share. If this is one of your big dating concerns, why not find out how coaching can help? Call me at 203-877-3777 and schedule your free 15-minute get acquainted call today.