These first date conversation tips will be a huge help If you don’t know what to talk about on a first date. You’ll have plenty of ideas so you won’t be caught saying “um, um, um” again!
Wondering What to Talk about on a First Date?
Normally you don’t have any trouble talking to friends or family. You can even do alright with the people you work with. But what happens when you meet a man you like and have to go out with him on a date?
- Do you start to sweat just thinking about what you’re going to say?
- Are you worried about getting tongue-tied?
- Do you feel like you have nothing worthwhile to say?
Well don’t worry! I’m going to make this really simple for you so you never have to fret over what to say again. Here are four amazingly simple steps to get through any first date with no trouble at all.
Step #1 – Talk About These Topics
Start by picking a few subjects you know will be easy to talk about. I’ll give you a list of ideas to choose from below. Select the subjects that make you feel happy and are fun for you.
- Vacation and travel
- Sports you follow
- Sports you play
- Card games you like
- Favorite foods and restaurants
- What you do on the weekends
- TV shows
- Books and magazines
Something in there has got to be easy to talk about. Pick a few and decide what you would say about each one. Write it down if you can in a journal to get comfortable. Once it’s written, you have something to review before your next date in case you feel nervous.
I suggest you practice talking about each thing out loud to yourself a few times so you can say it naturally. This will seem strange but it makes the practice real. Rehearsing in your head might NOT be enough to come up with good answers. You don’t need to repeat word for word, but get the idea clear in your mind.
Step #2 – Talk about Work
You will probably need to say something about work and what you do for a living. However, you don’t want to go on about it no matter how much you love it or hate it. Keep what you say relatively short – your date will ask for more details if he’s curious.
Write this down too. This is your “work story”. Find a way to sum it up in one minute or less. Squeeze in something about why you enjoy it. (Come on, be positive.) Now you know you can describe your job without causing a man’s eye’s glaze over.
Step #3 – Talk about Your Ex
I recommend doing your best not to talk about your ex and what happened. Yet, I know men will ask so you will probably want to have a brief explanation about what happened. Most people deliver way too much information (TMI) and this is a HUGE turnoff to men. Yes, even if they asked.
Even if a man asks you lots of questions about why you got divorced or broke up, don’t feel obligated to answer. The specifics your relationship history are private and should only be shared on a “need to know” basis. When you think about it, the last thing you want is a whole bunch of first date guys knowing why your last relationship failed. Plus, it won’t shed a positive light on you, so don’t do it!
However, as I mentioned you will need a brief version of what happened. Write this down too and then edit it and edit it until you can sum it up in about one sentence. Say something like, “We didn’t share the same views on life” or “We wanted different things.” Then practice saying your story so you get comfortable with it.
Step #4 – Why Are You Still Single?
This is a very difficult question which often makes you or him feel defensive. What are you supposed to say? Come up with your reason, but don’t feel you need to get into any detail. It might be as simple as “This just changed between us and we grew apart.” Details are not needed, just like with why you got divorced.
Another approach which uses your feminine charm is to simply say, “Well most of the men I meet aren’t like you.” This way, you avoid the whole thing and disarm him with a compliment. If he’s persistent you can provide the reason I suggested in the paragraph above.
Step #5 – What Are You Looking For?
Often, people skip this step in the first date conversation but I recommend asking this important question. If you want to get married, say so! There’s never a less threatening time to say what you want then on a first date because he can’t think you mean him – you don’t even know him!
You can say, “Ultimately I want to marry, but I don’t mean with you, so no pressure. What are you looking for?”I can’t promise you’ll get an honest answer from a man, but watch his body language to see how he responds. Notice if he looks away or fidgets in his seat when he gives his answer which are signs of discomfort or possibly avoiding the truth.
Stating your goal of marriage or long-term, exclusive relationship can chase some men away and this is a good thing! If a man doesn’t want what you want, you don’t need to get to know him. A lot of men will not call again since they seek something casual and now know you’re more serious. This prevents heart break and time wasted on the wrong men so don’t hesitate to state your goal.
How to Keep the Conversation Flowing
When your date is talking, really listen and don’t worry about what you are going to say next. If you are planning the next thing you want to say while he’s talking, that’s like have two conversations in your own head at t he same time. You won’t be fully present or listening.
Comment after he stops on the very last thing he said if that’s the best you can do. Another trick is to simply repeat the last thing he said. This is a technique that makes people feel really heard and validated.
There you have it. Easy first date conversation tips anyone can use for your initial meeting and beyond if you hit a dry spot – happy gabbing!