Sometimes understanding men is not so easy. You may find their words and actions confusing (Trust me they think we are pretty confusing too.) In this post I share my super easy advice to help you sort out why they look, flirt or text, but don’t ask you out.
Why Does He Look at Me, But Not Much More?
Here is my situation. There is a man at work that has gone out of his way to see me when I am there. For example, I was in another department and he made his way to where I was and nodded. Secondly, I was in the other building and he was in the hallway where I was. I had to go to another room and he followed me there. However, he made it as if he were checking to see if the doors were locked. The doors were right next to the room I went to. I’ve tried to talk to him, but he gives me one word answers.
Can I have your dating advice on this situation please?
This man obviously finds you attractive. However, that doesn’t mean he wants to date you.
This is one of the hardest things for single women to understand. Why would a man make an effort to see you or flirt if he wasn’t interested? Why would a man text or call if he didn’t want to date you? These questions about why men show interest but do not follow through cause more angst than almost any other type of question. And it’s the kind I get most frequently from women who need help with understanding men.
To really get this, it’s time to separate a man’s attraction to you from his desire to date you. These are NOT the same thing. Neither is his interest a guarantee that he wants to get romantic. Sometimes it’s just fun to admire you or talk to you or flirt with you. Sometimes its just fun to fantasize about what could be if things were different for him.
So the best thing you can do when you encounter one of these men who look bu don’t ask you out is to remember to separate these two concepts. His interest, curiosity or admiration does not directly indicate his desire to date you or start a relationship.
For example, if this guy was genuinely interested in dating you, he would respond with more than one word to your gracious opening. You are doing the right thing by making yourself approachable. But when a man doesn’t take advantage of how easy you are making it for him, in case he’s just shy, drop it and move on.
The last thing you want to do is waste your time convincing some man to date you. That is what turns into heart break. You don’t want a man that you need to convince. The best possible scenario for love is when a man, on his own initiative takes the steps to pursue you. that is the sign you are looking for to judge a man’s intentions.
Of course, more is needed to really know how he feels about you. it takes time and consistency. You want a man who contacts you regularly – at least once or twice a week and sees you that much as well. Things do build, but if a man doesn’t see you at last once a week, I’d recommend walking away. His dating agenda is probably not for a committed relationship but more like something casual.
So, when it comes to understanding men and their motivation, this man may enjoy looking at you, but perhaps he has a woman. Or he doesn’t want to date right now. Or he is psychotically shy – not a great option either if you ask me.
Here’s what you can do with this situation to use it to your advantage. Allow his attention and admiration to spur you on and build confidence. After all, he is proof positive that you are an attractive woman. Then take that confidence and go meet some guys to find one who has the confidence to ask you out and date you.
Don’t waste time on guys who look, text, flirt or call but don’t ask you out. Your time is precious. Use it to find the love you want rather than waste it on a man who is not pursuing you and seeking to win you over to be his love. That’s my expert dating advice to help with understanding men.
Wishing you love,