Are you dating after 40 but lack motivated to try new ways of finding love? Discover why it’s so much easier to keep the status quo then make changes.
Many new dating coaching clients come to me with very specific ideas about what they will and won’t do:
- They won’t try online dating
- They won’t buy any new clothes
- They won’t get professional photos taken for their dating profile
- They won’t get a hair and makeup makeover
- They won’t ask friends to fix them up
No one said dating after 40 or 50 was easy. I did it so I know what it’s like. But it is completely possible IF you are willing to be flexible and try new things Your willingness do take some risk and shake things up is essential for your romantic success.
Why Is Change Essential When Dating Over 40?
Think about it this way. If your current methods and ways of doing things were working, you’d be in love right now. So there you have it. I said it. I stated what really could be considered the obvious. What you are doing right now DOES NOT WORK.
So, when a single woman comes to me and asks for my help, one of my very first questions is,
“Are you willing to try new things to get the results you want?”
If she says “No”, then I understand immediately she is more interested in holding on tight to the “Status Quo” – how she is currently living her life right now. This is normal. Most people rather not mess with their world. Nope, it is so much easier and admittedly feels much safer to do what you are familiar with.
See, even though many single women say they want love, they aren’t so willing to shake things up to find it.
Then the next piece of this puzzle is that even though you are lonely and want a man in your life, let’s face it, being single is simpler. You don’t need to consider what another person wants for dinner. You want shrimp? Go for it. You want white pizza with basil and ricotta? Get it! You want a bowl of cereal – Good, no pots and pans to clean up.
The Status Quo is your comfort zone. You are very familiar with this life. You know how it works for the most part. Sometimes to boat gets rock, but things tend to even out with time and you move on. Very little new happens in your comfort zone. In fact, your comfort zone is the killer of your dreams.
Now those are strong words. “Killer of Dreams”. Wow! You dream of love, but you don’t want to do anything new or different to find it. Hmmm. So, the question boils down to this? How much do you really want to find love with the right man for you? Is this just a pipe dream or do you REALLY WANT IT?
If you really want to find love, if you really want a romantic partner to share life with, then you can forget about finding him if your preference is for the Status Quo. Nothing new happens in the status quo. That’s the whole point – it’s STATIC. Everything remains the same. Nothing changes. Nothing.
So, if you’ve been dabbling at dating for years and not getting the results you want:
- Don’t blame it on how there aren’t any good men
- Don’t blame it on how hard dating is
- Don’t blame it on your busy job
- Don’t blame it on your need to take care of your children
- Don’t blame it on how you had love once and that’s all you get
- Don’t blame it on the players or scammers
None of these excuses are the truth. The TRUTH is, you can only blame it on one thing
Your need for the status quo.
When you are ready to try something new, break the bonds that the status quo keeps you in and try something new, then and ONLY THEN can you expect that you are on the road to dating after 40 and finding love.
Now remember, I’m here if you want to get moving a bit faster. My job is to help you find love aster and with less confusion and angst. I’m really good at it too. My clients find love. Check out my coaching programs for dating over 40 or call me if you are ready to change the status quo and find love now 203-877-3777.