If you’re a typical single woman over 35 with no Valentine in sight, you might hate any mention of Valentine’s Day. Some women tell me it makes them sick to their stomach. Others feel so sad they are alone again another year and hate watching all those happy couples gushing about love every where. Arrggh!
Hiding from Valentine’s Day
Okay, you might prefer to hide and ignore the whole stinking holiday. Maybe you stay home and celebrate with Ben and Jerry. Or hang with your gal pals and complain about the available men (or all men).
But did you know there are a few simple steps you can take to meet men and get noticed during the Valentine’s Day season that really work?
It’s time to be honest with yourself. The question is, how much do you want love in your life with an amazing man? Enough to try something new? Or try something old in a new way? If either of these statements fir with your state of mind, then read on!
No Valentine? 4 Tips to Meet New Men
1. Get off the Couch
The first tip is to get off the couch and out of the house. Yes, I mean you girlfriend!
You’ll never meet men watching TV or reading a book at home. Cozy and relaxing? Yes of course, but not helping you with your goal to find a good man and a Valentine’s Day Date for next year if nothing else. You need to get out, mingle and talk to men.
The only way you are going to be able to do this is to leave your home. That makes it possible for men who are looking for a great woman like you to find you! Make yourself available by going out for a night.
Drag a single girlfriend if you like and decide you can’t go back home until you each speak to three men you don’t know. Challenging yourself is a great practice to help you take chances and follow through with your commitment.
2. Dress Up
Choosing to wear something fabulous will do more than turn heads. First, you’ll start to feel good about yourself and your confidence will improve. A lot of women hide out in comfy, baggy clothes which is a shame and a missed opportunity.
Instead, try a bright color and something more form-fitting. Extra fabric does’t actually hide anything. Instead, it makes you look bigger and shapeless. Break from your comfort-first tradition and give yourself permission to look stylish and maybe even HOT.
I know you might feel a little out of your comfort zone at first. That’s to be expected when you try something new. However, once you see the way men approach you, it will start to feel great! No valentine? Then put on a dress and go out to cross paths with men.
Here’s What Happened to Patti
My client Patti was a conservative dresser, always wearing high collars. She never showed off her figure or wore anything flashy. Then, she had a dance to go to with a friend and had nothing to wear.
While in the dressing room, she put on this red, strappy dress that bared her shoulders and flared at the bottom when she twirled. Patti felt so uncomfortable! Her friend and then all the women in the dressing room ganged up on her to insist she buy the dress. Tired of arguing, she figured she’d return it another day.
The day of the dance arrived and the dress was still there, hanging on her closet door. She never got around to returning it or buying something else, so no she was stuck wearing it.
Patti entered the dance feeling timid and uncomfortable. Upon entering the room and removing her coat, a man she knew walked up to her and told her she looked beautiful. He asked her to dance and that started her night off with a bang.
When she walked by the dance floor later, another man asked her to dance and commented on the dress. And so the night flowed, as she danced with a number of men and had one of the best nights of her entire life. Patti wore the dress several more times because she felt so incredible in it.
Come on – get a new dress and dare to look fabulous!
3. Put on a Happy Face
Happy people are naturally more attractive. A smile is a sign of being friendly which makes you more approachable to men. Seriously, men do not like rejection any better than women do. They avoid women with resting bitch face.
Have you noticed how much “resting bitch face” has been mentioned on reality TV shows? Pop culture commentators also bring this up often. You don’t want to be known for this sullen and unfriendly face!
What can you do if there’s no valentine for you? Start smiling more at people.
When you catch a man looking at you, hold his gaze for just two seconds with a little smile, before turning away. You are simply acknowledging him for noticing you as a woman. That’s a good thing and positive evidence of your natural attractiveness.
What if your resting face featured a little smile with the corners of your mouth turned up slightly? Men would find you so much more approachable. Happy people tend to meet more people, so what have you got to lose?
Science has already proved that sporting a smile is a guaranteed mood elevator. In fact, why wait – start right now!
4. Talk to Strangers
Make this one of your new practices. Talk to people you don’t know wherever you go. Maybe you feel too intimidated to strike up a conversation with a man.
That’s OK – start by talking to women so you can get some safe practice and hone your skills. Or talk with older men or men who are too young – both are more of a lower risk so it might be easier.
Remember, there’s no pressure because nothing will likely come of it. EXCEPT – you’ll learn how to start spontaneous conversations which is a fabulous skill for meeting new people.
Even though I’m married, I still do this all the time and find that 99% of people are happy to respond. Often they are as bored as I am waiting in line somewhere. Give it a shot and find out how easy and fun it is to talk to someone you don’t know.
Go from No Valentine to Dating
Try one of these four dating tips to get some love this Valentine’s Day season. Or be bold and try them all! Decide to make it easier for men to approach you and you will reap the rewards by getting dates and finding the one. Don’t save this just for Valentine’s Day either – this advice is good year round.