Ready to learn about flirting? Dating after divorce is not always easy because you may be out of practice or healing from the hurt and rejection. But if you want to find love, flirting is essential! This is how I explain it to one divorced gal who’s been hiding out for five years.
“Dear Dating Coach Ronnie,
I am wanting your dating advice please. An electrician dropped over my home to do some work. He was really nice towards me, talking about himself and then asking about me questions. However I was very closed off towards him. I am not good at the whole dating game. I am divorced and been on my own for about five years now. I did notice how comfortable and relaxed I felt around him. Do you think its possible to somehow, in a discreet way, show I’m interested?
Thanks for your help!
Still In Shock”
Dear Still in Shock,
First of all, tradesmen are notorious flirts. Let’s face it, being friendly and flirting is good for business. Not all tradesmen are flirts and players – some are married and don’t cheat, some are single and want a relationship, some are just enjoying the view while they work. Deciphering who is who takes knowledge and practice. I did have success with one dating coaching client who married her plumber so anything is possible!
Is there a discreet way to let him know you are interested? What are you going to do, hire him to do more work? Not sure about that. Where will you see him again? I think this opportunity, if it was one, is water under the bridge so to speak. You can’t text a man and say, “Hey, I’m interested in you, let’s get together”. Unless you just want a fling – I suppose that might work.
Waking Up Your Desire with Flirting
However, and this is HUGE, this electrician did you a BIG favor. He WOKE YOU UP out of your divorced slumber to think about interacting with men again. And that is wonderful! Welcome back!
Now that you are thinking about men and dating again, this is the perfect opportunity to learn about flirting. You told me you aren’t good at the whole dating thing, but if you want to find love again, you’re going to have to change that. This is your chance since your desire has been awakened.
Let me share my best flirting tips with you because nothing could be easier, more productive and FUN than starting to flirt.
What Is Flirting?
According to Mama Gena and the School of Womanly Arts, flirting is a fun, spontaneous, creative way to interact with people. It’s not about teasing a man or promising him anything. It’s simply a playful way to interact with men. The point is to make yourself more approachable so men know you are available and open to male attention.
See, men don’t like to be rejected any more than women do. So when you flirt, you are letting a man know you wouldn’t mind if he came over to talk to you. Most of flirting is non-verbal body language. But flirting can also be clever conversation and banter.
Some women think flirting is sleazy or that if they flirt men might get the wrong impression. That is not true, but if a man does get the wrong impression, that’s about him, not you. It’s his problem. If you have beliefs about flirting like these, it’s time to get over it and see flirting in a new and more positive light.
The 4 Best Flirting Tips
These flirting tips are SO easy, most women assume they can’t possibly work. Oh, but they do and really well. Any woman can do these things and even if you feel funny because it’s new behavior for you, they still work!
1. Smile at Men. Yes, flash a man your smile and you’ll make his day. Then you’ll make yours too because his smile will make you feel appreciated and admired. Who wouldn’t like that?
2. Brief Eye Contact. Combine that smile with a little bit of eye contact. Just two – three seconds will do the trick. A quick look lets a man know that you see him. So basically, you are acknowledging a man for looking at you. Do you get enough acknowledgement during your day? I doubt it and neither does he. Break the ice and smile with your eyes!
Now this is a place where less is more. So don’t fall into any “alpha-dog stare-downs” which will be experienced as aggression. It’s a quick look before gracefully turning your head away. Very flirty!
3. Be Friendly. This is not a novel idea, yet most women today simply aren’t friendly. Most tend to avert their eyes to stay isolated in their own little worlds. For many, it feels safer doing this. Too much news watching if you ask me.
When you push yourself to be friendly, you’ll start meeting lots of new people. Be friendly to women as well. After all, you never know who they could introduce you to. Women have uncles, brothers, fathers, neighbors, colleagues, etc. who might be single and looking for a great woman like you. This is how I met my adorable husband; I met his sister in a bar!
4. Act Like You’re Having Fun. When you appear to be enjoying yourself, you are far more attractive. People are magnetically drawn to those having fun. They want to know why you are enjoying yourself and want to get in on it. You don’t need to be the life of the party – it’s more an attitude or outlook.
As a dating coach for women, my clients often start meeting men the first time they try these flirting tips! This will open doors for you and help you meet droves of new men. Flirting lets the men around you know that you are open to them and there are always more men noticing you than you think.
This is the most important result of your flirting efforts:
When you flirt with one guy, others will notice too and
might take the risk to approach you which is
EXACTLY what you want!
Flirt to make it easier for men to meet you.
When Flirting Doesn’t Work
There are times when flirting will not work:
- If you are after one particular man, your best flirting might not get him to ask you out. He has to want you and be available.
- When a man flirts with you, it doesn’t mean anything. He might like you and if he does, he will ask you out. Otherwise he’s just enjoying the flirting because it’s fun! Don’t attach meaning to flirting.
- If you’ve been flirting with a guy for months, give up now that it will turn into a relationship. If he had intentions to date you, he would have done so already.
Flirt Because You Can!
As a woman, your primal power is in your feminine charm and allure. Flirting is a way to leverage your God-given advantages to find love with a good man. To not flirt is to waste your allure. As Greg Behrendt, co-author of the book He’s Just Not That Into You said, “Don’t waste the pretty.” I agree.
So Still in Shock, practice your flirting skills on any man you choose. Start smiling at the men you see on the streets or in stores. The better you are at flirting and the more comfortable, the more desirable and attractive you become. And of course the more men you’ll meet. Don’t hesitate. Get started today and know that the more men you interact with and meet, the sooner you’ll find the right one for you.
Wishing you love,