Get help understanding men – Want to know if the man you’re dating is thinking long-term about you? Here’s my dating advice on the clues that let you know if he’s really into you.
Understanding Men and Their Long-Term Plans
You’re dating this great guy and when you’re together, it’s fantastic. Your man is attentive, generous, and engaging. He treats you well and you have a lot of fun. But the time between dates makes you wonder about his intentions and where things are going. Hey, you’re a single woman and that’s normal right?
Well, yes and no. There are some specific signs that the man you’re dating might not be as into you as you hope. Check out these seven telltale clues to figure out if your man is thinking long-term about you.
7 Clues to Know If You’re in His Future
1) He talks about the future, but doesn’t get closer to commitment.
A lot of men will talk about the future, bringing it up without your prompting. Women often interpret this as a good sign. You think if he talks about the future on his own, it must mean he wants you there with him. Well, not exactly.
Sometimes guys just like to talk about the future because it’s fun. So they talk about the plans and things you could do together. Too often this is just talk and nothing more. Men know women like to plan, so it’s also a way to please you without doing anything. Talk is cheap. What truly matters is follow through. Does he act on his plans like buying concert tickets, planning a weekend getaway, etc.?
If he talks a good game but, never acts on these ideas, he’s probably not serious about a relationship with you. Don’t make the mistake thinking his idle chit chat indicates genuine interest. It doesn’t. Confusion sets in when you try to balance what he says with what he does. Let his actions speak for him and take your clues from there – that helps the most with understanding men.
2) He is always spontaneous.
Does the guy your dating usually call you at the last minute? This is a dead giveaway that he’s not a planner and calls only when you come to mind. That’s a clue he’s not thinking about you often enough to be interested in building a long-term relationship. He’s the kind of guy who fits you in when he has time or calls with something he wants to do with a woman.
When it comes to understanding men, a man who is thinking about a future with you plans ahead. He’s not just thinking about what would be fun in the moment. He wants to spend time getting to know you better because you’ve captured his attention.
3) He’s super busy with work or his kids.
Yeah, we’re all busy. But when a man is serious about you, he will MAKE TIME to see you come hell or high water as the saying goes. This is nothing more than a thin excuse to keep your expectations high and his commitment low. He may be a great father or a very successful doctor, but he’s showing you that you’ll never be his top priority.
If playing second string is not OK with you, then I advise you to move on. When it comes to understanding men, they often demonstrate exactly what they’re thinking if you can just step back and observe objectively.
4) He hasn’t introduced you to his friends or family.
This is a HUGE clue. A man who is excited to be with you and plan a future, wants to show you off. That means within two to three months, he’ll be introducing you to his friends and his family. This is how a man brings you into his world.
If your guy wants to spend all of his time alone with you because it’s more romantic, be suspicious. He might be seeing another woman who is involved in his life or not want anything too serious. Meeting friends and family is a right of passage in a relationship and is not something to take lightly.
Meeting his children is a bit different and this could take longer. Unless there are extenuating circumstances, if you don’t meet his kids by the six month mark, my dating advice for women is to address that directly with him. Otherwise, you might remain his best kept secret and never become anything more.
5) His attention is waning.
When you first started seeing your man, he was in touch regularly. He texted daily, called every few days and saw you once or twice a week. Then for some reason, he started to slow down on dates. He keeps up with the texting and calls on occasion. But the time between dates starts to grow and you only have a couple of dates per month.
While it’s true that the start of dating is the most exciting, if your dates become sparse, that’s a clue that he’s not into you anymore. Again my dating advice for women is to let go and find a man who continues to show strong interest or wants to spend time with you.
6) He’s critical versus encouraging.
Occasionally you date a man who loves everything about you at first, but slowly he starts to be critical. Maybe he doesn’t like your dress, says your hair looked better the other way or your attention to current events needs work. Whatever brings out his critical nature, he’s not being supportive or encouraging.
Constant criticism cuts into your confidence and self-esteem. The right man for you knows you have a few flaws, but loves you anyway. He doesn’t insult you in front of others by making disparaging comments. He may, on a rare occasion take you aside and mention something thinking he is being helpful, but this is rare.
This is a biggie when it comes to understanding men; If the man you ‘re dating constantly criticizes, you can do without him. Cut your losses and look for a more loving and supportive partner. Life is too short for anything less.
7) He doesn’t include you in his everyday life.
When you find the right man, he wants to share his life with you; the good and the not so good. He calls to celebrate his victories. He seeks out your suggestions because he knows you’re smart and can offer another perspective. He values your opinion when it comes to making a big decision.
If the man you’re dating keeps you in the dark about his everyday life, that is not a good sign about a future together. If this level of give and take is not growing in your relationship, that’s a sure sign he’s not thinking long-term about you. I recommend that you move on to find a man who can be open enough to include you in his daily life.
That’s my dating advice to help you with understanding men and determining if your guy is thinking about you long-term.
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