Timing Tips for Online Dating
This post is about your window of opportunity when it comes to meeting the men you connect with online. Timing is not as flexible as you might expect.
Do you have time to connect with the men who email you from online dating sites? You are probably crazy-busy with your life considering work exercising, child rearing, cooking, laundry, friends, family, etc. Making time to check your inbox, view profiles of the men who send email, and then responding is not always easy. You have to make it a priority. You’ll need to carve time out of your busy day to make sure you take care of these necessities. Yes NECESSITIES because you can’t dawdle when it comes to men online.
Is this news to you? This is the age of technology and that means people expect a response FAST. That’s right – there is an expiration date on your window of opportunity when it comes to online dating.
Responding to Emails
You have 24 hours to respond to an email before it goes stale. If you can’t get to the computer or your smart phone to answer a guy for 48, it’s still worth a shot. But not as likely to be well received.
When you email a guy you find interesting, how do you feel when he takes days to respond? It’s not eh best feeling and he feels the same way. Plus, he could be on to the next woman or several. A prompt response is the smartest thing.
Returning Phone Calls
This same sense of timing applies to returning phone calls. No one likes to be kept waiting. Your slow response lets him know he’s not your priority. If that’s not the message you want to send, get back to him in one day. Now on the flip side, you don’t have to call back in minutes. Looking like you are waiting for his call won’t serve you either. There is a careful balance with online dating. But don’t neglect the men who show interest in you.
Meeting Him for Date Zero
I’ve had a number of clients who tend to put off the first meeting. This is a HUGE mistake. Remember there are countless women online. If your schedule is too busy to fit in a quick glass of wine, a beer tasting or a cup of coffee for 60-90- minutes, that will be your loss. Why should he wait around to meet you?
One of my clients is committed to exercise daily. That’s is excellent self care, but if you want to meet men, consider getting up early and exercising before work. If every night is booked with something already, whether it’s exercise, yoga, book club, drinks with the girls, or washing your hair, you send a clear message whether you realize it or not. That message is “I don’t have time for you in my busy life.”
The other day, another client, Melanie, told me she is in the middle of moving. She couldn’t possibly meet this new guy until two weeks from now. She’s just too overwhelmed with the move and work. I pointed out that she does have one hour or 90-minutes and if she is truly interested in this guy, she better make that a priority too. Melanie doesn’t need to devote an entire evening to him, just make it quick. It’s a first meeting which is basically a chemistry check anyway.
Still, Melanie resisted. Talking to her at greater length, I explained that a man’s interest can be fleeting. Again there is an optimal window of opportunity before he simply moves on to meet others. If the job of a life time became available, would she find a way to get to the interview? You bet she would. Why isn’t love as important? This isn’t some guy – its a man who “on paper” meets much of Melanie’s criteria.
Later, Melanie admitted she wanted to put if off because she simply didn’t feel ready. She wasn’t expecting anyone to connect with her and yet here it was, a moment with potential kismet and she wanted to put it off. Finally she relented and agreed to find a time to meet him.
One of My Best Tips for Online Dating
If you don’t make finding love a priority, don’t count on connecting anytime soon. No matter what your goal is, from job hunting, to weight loss, to dating, the only way to achieve it is by putting in some time and effort. Otherwise you are just dabbling and likely to be wasting your time.
Don’t miss out on finding the one because you couldn’t find the time. All that really means is you don’t believe you’ll find him so why put in the time? Act like you are certain love is real for you and then take the needed actions to manifest your desire for love. You can do it!
Your Cheerleader for Love.