Need help understanding men?
Are you texting and talking to him, but wonder why you can’t seem to meet? This is such a common problem, many women have been in this frustrating situation. My dating advice below will help you clear up the mystery of why he’ll text or call, but not meet you in person.
“Dear Ronnie The Dating Coach for Women,
I met this man through an online site. We have been texting and talking on the phone since January 2014. At first, we planned on several meetings, but they were canceled (due to his work and mine). I feel comfortable talking with him and he always initiates the calls. I can tell he is a smart guy. We can talk for hours from one topic to another including sharing se.xual conversations. He even shares his fantasy of being with me.
When I am confused or upset, he supports me through calls or texts. I enjoy texting him. I really want to meet him, He says he wants to meet me too, but he also says he prefers knowing me bit by bit, talking for hours on the phone. One day, he says, we will meet up.
All in all, he is a nice person. But, I know that this will not be healthy in the long run. How should I tell him that this “fantasy” relationship between him and I should stop? I feel that ignoring his calls and texts are not the proper way, since we have good relation and respect on each other.
I kindly need your advice and input, Ronnie.. Thank you so much..
Hoping to Meet Him”
You could use a little help with understanding men. I know you want to be nice, but bottom line, you are NOT in a relationship. Truth is, you share a fantasy and he is wasting your time. Don’t think for a moment your smart guy doesn’t know this. You stay because you hope to meet him someday. Why does he stay when he knows he’ll never meet you? How is this respectful or honest on his part?
One thing I know for sure, if you decide to talk to him about this, he will argue with you and tell you he has good intentions. He will promise to meet you soon. But that will just be more meaningless words to keep you in his game.
Think about it logically for a moment and put your heart aside. That’s the best way to start understanding men. Why would a man want to talk on the phone and text for more than six months and not meet you? Here are a few possibilities:
- He’s married or in a relationship but doesn’t really want to physically “cheat”
- He doesn’t want the responsibility of a true relationship
- He prefers to avoid any strings of attachment or expectations on your part
- He’s not really emotionally available beyond phone chats
- He doesn’t look like his photo and knows you wouldn’t go for him if you saw him
- He prefers a fantasy life vs. real life because he’s maladjusted in some way
I could go 0n, but I’m sure you get the idea right? There isn’t one legitimate or rational idea that comes to mind.
If this man wanted to date you, he would done so by now. Seriously, how much more is there to know? He is using you and taking advantage of your good nature for emotional support and fantasy s.ex.
My best dating advice for you is:
1) Think about yourself first, not him.
Think about how much time you have invested and wasted with this man. More than six months! Think about how you have given your heart away to a man who will not meet you. Think about how you are attached to a man you will never kiss or have dinner with. Acknowledge the manipulation! Then stop texting him and talking to him on the phone. You owe him nothing.
Not all men are like this, but understanding men who are like this will keep you from getting into another fantasy relationship again Good men are definitely out there waiting to meet a woman like you.
2) Get back online to find real men to date.
Once you start dating others, you will soon forget about the man who dared to waste six months of your life or how you allowed that to happen. Once you go on live dates, you’ll see how limited this situation is and how you deserve so much more. You deserve a real relationship, face-to-face, holding hands, dancing together. You deserve to make love in person with a warm, caring, loving man who is relationship ready and not hiding behind technology.
Please let go and free yourself up to find a real love and a healthy relationship. This one is not only a dead end, but a terrible waste of your love and kindness.