Finding Love: Does Life Get in the Way?

 

Does finding love seem like a dream and a far away possibility?

finding love, will I ever find love, how to find your soulmateFinding love might not be high on your priority list if you are a single woman over 40. Let’s face it, you are one busy gal! You may have children to raise, a stressful job, elderly parents, never mind exercise, cooking and other household chores. That’s a lot on anyone’s plate. So how does finding love fit into the equation?

Let me share a classic story from my coaching training:

There was a teacher in front of a classroom with a pile of rocks, pebbles and sand, as well as a large clear glass jar. She asked someone from the audience to come up and put all three piles into the jar. The volunteer started by putting the pebbles and sand in first. By doing this, she discovered there was no room for the bigger rocks!

Yet, getting everything into the jar was completely possible. The teacher showed everyone in the room how all the material – sand, pebbles and the bigger rocks could all fit. The trick is to start with the big rocks, then place the pebbles, and last add the sand which fills in the small spaces between the rocks and pebbles.

How does this translate to finding love?

The lesson illustrated by this story is that if you don’t make love a priority like your children and your job, you’ll never fit it into your life. As your dating coach, I want you to consider finding love as one of your big rocks too. Otherwise, you’ll get everything else done except dating. If dating comes last after some of the smaller things on your plate, you’ll never find time.

If you truly want to enjoy a loving relationship with the right man, you need to MAKE time to create that reality in your life. It’s simply a matter of priority and carving out a little time to attract love into your life. It’s not likely to happen somehow magically if you don’t put your attention on it.

Life always has a way of getting in the way. While dating or finding time isn’t easy, you have to decide to focus on what you want. I’ll borrow a phrase from Fabienne Frederickson who is a coach for women in business. She suggests people take the “No excuses approach”. In other words, if your really want to find love, make a commitment to yourself and stand behind your desire and your words.

How does this work? First, you cannot allow yourself to wiggle out of your commitment. Do you know the book The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz? The first of the four agreements is to “be impeccable with your word.” Now that doesn’t mean just with others, it also includes being impeccable with yourself.

So, you decide what actions you’ll take such as posting an online profile and meeting at least one new man a week or going to a Meetup.com group. Then schedule time in your calendar. For example, you might set aside 30-minutes, three times a week to look for men on line and then a 3-hour window over the weekend to meet someone (including getting ready and drive-time).

Next, even if you don’t feel like it, you do what you committed to do anyway. One thing I can tell you for sure, you’ll never meet the right man if you only want to stay cozy in your comfort zone. You will need to push yourself. You will need to be tough and go any way. You will need to put a smile on your face. That’s what it takes.

Now you might be thinking, “Well heck, it’s just not worth it if I have to do that!” But I disagree. From my own personal experience, I know it’s worth it. Totally worth it. When you take the time to invest in yourself and your love life and find the right man, that is worth EVERYTHING YOU DID! Every bad date, crummy singles dance, and disappointment you faced along the way.

I am talking about LOVE. Real love with a supportive and caring man who is out there waiting to meet a great women like you. Unfortunately, you won’t find him if you don’t make time and take some action. You have to make yourself available for men to find you!

Do you remember what love is like? It’s not just pain, hurt, heartbreak and discomfort. Love is magical. Love makes the world go ’round.  Love is blissful and inspiring. Love is comforting and enlivening. Love exists today and I am behind you 100% to go out and find it. And, most importantly learn how to attract it.

That’s what I’m here for as your dating coach for women over 40 – to inspire, motivate, share my tips for finding love AND help you discover how to attract love into your life. Call me at 203-877-3777 for a free 15-minute consultation. Let’s talk about how to create the love life you deserve.

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