If “he has no time for me” is your complaint about the man you are seeing, here’s my best dating tip for women who find themselves in this situation…
“Hi Ronnie – The Dating Coach,
For a little over a month, I’ve been dating an older man who recently started a new business venture (he also has a full-time job that he works at night). We’ve been on four dates and we talk/text everyday. When he speaks of the future, my son and I are part of it.
My dilemma is that his new business takes up a lot of his time. We haven’t seen each other in over two weeks. He has no time for me. While I am naturally a loner and I’m quite comfortable with being by myself, I do get lonely (which is why I joined the dating site where he and I met). With his current work schedule and the business he is building, I feel that we don’t have enough time to spend with each other. I’ve spoken to him about my concerns to which he replied that he understood and asked me to be patient with him.
I feel that we should be able to meet/go on a date at least once a week. Am I being a brat by thinking this way? Or do I have a legitimate concern here?
Thanks for your time!”
Dear Waiting Around,
You are not a brat! Your complaint about how “he has no time for me” is understandable and your desire to see him is completely reasonable. It’s not like you want to see him every night or even four times a week.
Here’s the problem: A new business can be a huge time drain or… a perfect excuse not to get close. I can’t say for sure which is true with this particular guy.
He Might Not Be the Right Guy for You
What I can tell you is that he might not be the right guy because dating and love are not high on his priority list. Any man who is serious about love makes it a priority. Not only that, but if he is building a business, when will he have time? A business start up can take years to solidify. He is showing you that you will never be his priority or certainly not in the near future.
How long does he think you should be patient with him? Ridiculous. It’s not like you’ve been in a committed relationship for years and he’s asking you to be patient. That would be quite a different story.
Keep Your Options Open
A month is not a long time to know someone and I’m assuming he hasn’t asked you to be exclusive. So, don’t hide yourself away! Keep your options open and date other men too. Until you are in an exclusive relationship, there is no reason not to see others. This way, you won’t put too much pressure on him and you might meet other men who hold finding love as a higher priority.
Don’t Limit Yourself
Why limit yourself to a man who doesn’t offer what you want in a loving partner? Here’s one of my biggest dating tips for women over 40 looking for love:
If a man is not what you want in the first month, he never will be.
Don’t wait for him! On the other hand, you don’t have to dump him either. However, my dating advice is to find other men to date. Then see what happens. I’m a big fan of meeting lots of men and dating as many as you like during that initial get-to-know-you-phase. You can see the real value of playing the field in this video. (after you click, scroll to see video – its a good one)
Keep this important fact in mind:
The purpose of dating is to discover who you want to get to know better and invest your time and emotion in.
When a man shows you he has no time for you, think twice about what he’s really saying. Remember, actions speak louder than words when it comes to men. Too often, single women make excuses for the guys they date. Don’t do it. If you want to be a man’s priority, you need to experience that from the very start. No dating situation gets better than the first few weeks together.
Since you are still free and single, make the most of dating to find the right man for you and the love you deserve.