Need help understanding men?
Women ask me about their relationships and I have to break it to them they are not in a real relationship but a virtual one. Keep reading to find out why.
Does this situation sound familiar? You connected with a guy online, shared numbers and are now texting. Maybe he texts you daily or several times per day. Maybe his texting or calls have been more sporadic, but have been going on for weeks or months. One woman wrote to me about a guy she had two dates with, but had been texting for seven months after with no third date.
There are many ways this situation could look, but it all adds up to the same sad result. You are in a virtual relationship, not a real one!
For a relationship to be real, you have to SEE each other. You need to have face-to-face dates. On a rare occasion, the distance keeps you from seeing each other, yet a true relationship is unfolding. But this is extremely rare. So, if the guy lives in a 100 mile radius, but just keeps texting, that is not a good sign.
Understanding Men Is Easy
When it comes to understanding men, it’s much easier than most women make it. Don’t interpret what they say. Don’t look for deeper meaning. Just take their actions (vs. words) at face value. What you see is what you get with most men. It’s all about paying attention to what they do, not what they say. If he doesn’t have time to see you, he is simply not the right man for you. No matter what the excuse!
Seven signs you are in a virtual relationship vs. a real one:
- He’s texts, emails or calls you rather than seeing you in person
- He’s so busy at work, with kids, with adult parents, etc. that he doesn’t have time to see you
- He cancels dates and takes his time rescheduling them
- He stays in touch but doesn’t ask you out
- He calls to tell you about his life and get advice making you feel really close, but time for dates
- He’s traveling for business or doesn’t live in your area
- His work, health or financial situation keep him from meeting you
In each situation, there is contact, often it’s consistent and sometimes very intense. But without those dates where you gaze into each others eyes, you are not in a real relationship.
The problem with virtual relationships, is that they FEEL REAL. So it takes up space in your heart. You might not even bother meeting other men who do have time to date you, thinking you’ve got this guy already. Trouble is, he has you, but you don’t have him. You just have his texts or calls.
Technology has made this a true problem for singles today. And this doesn’t only happen to women. I know men who have been sucked in by these virtual relationships and fall in love with a voice, clever texting and a photo.. But they never meet the woman or only have a few dates. This can happen to anyone who longs for a loving connection.
What is the Answer to the Virtual Relationship?
Don’t fall in love via technology! Nothing can replace those in-person dates. That’s how you know the chemistry is good. That’s how you can learn if you are compatible. Because dates take commitment and follow through, where texting requires merely seconds!
What should you do if you find yourself in a virtual relationship? I know this isn’t easy, but you get out from under the illusion so you can move on to find real love. Follow these steps to set yourself free and make yourself available for love with man who wants to spend time with you:
- Get real with yourself. Don’t allow yourself to believe the illusion. You are not in a valid relationship. See the reality and truth of this situation.
- Ask your closest friends or family members to be honest with you and tell you what they think of this relationship. this confirmation can help you see the truth more clearly
- Once you have realize the truth, make yourself let go! You need to completely cut him out of your life or you won’t really move on. Remove his number from your cell phone. Block his email address. Promise yourself you won’t respond to his virtual communication or calls. He will try to argue with you that this is REAL , but it’s absolutely NOT.
- Don’t try to be honest or ask him to stop contacting you if he is not serious. He will not listen to your pleas. You must make this decision yourself and take the steps to cut off contact. I have seen this happen time and time again. Let me encourage you to take responsibility for the situation and do what is right for you – which is to not let this waste your time.
- If needed, give yourself time to heal. Treat yourself well, get some pampering. Talk to a therapist, go to an energetic healer, or get a massage.
- Rebuild your confidence. This could be getting a few new outfits, trying a new hairstyle or getting a makeover. Or you might work with a trainer, start a new project, or take a class in something.
- When you feel ready, go meet new men! But this time, don’t allow yourself more than 7-10 days of virtual communication. If there are no dates, drop the guy like a hot potato and move on! If you meet the guy once or twice, but dates don’t continue, again drop the guy.
You Deserve Real Love
Your time is precious! Don’t waste your love and energy on a virtual relationship that will never blossom into the real thing. You don’t need to know why a man is doing this to you to know you deserve more. Allow understanding men to be simpler by paying attention to what they do, not say. You deserve the real thing and a true relati0nship with all the kisses and joy it brings!