Are You Dating a Player?
Has this thought crossed your mind – Is he a player? You are dating a new guy who is AMAZING! He is so charming, attentive and seems to be seriously crushing on you. Whew its so dreamy and surprising. Your head is in the clouds and your feet don’t quite touch the ground anymore. Is this a good sign? Sadly, I must say – not really.
Here you are having the time of your life. The romance is blissful and has completely swept you off your feet. The last thing you want to do is come back down to earth and think about this rationally. But as a dating coach for women over 40, that’s what I am recommending. When something is too good to believe, it usually is.
Is He a Player? 6 Telltale Signs to Watch for
- Comes on Strong – A player is a force to be reckoned with. He comes on strong out of nowhere and knows what he wants which seems to be YOU. His presence might feel like he is pouring too much dressing all over your salad, completely dousing you in his attention until you are drenched.
- The Big Rush – A player is a man in a hurry. He’s in a big rush to see you NOW. He pressures you to drop plans so you can see him right away, tonight. But you want to do this because his attention has an infectious quality. Everything is happening so quickly.
- Makes You Swoon – With a player, the dizzying pace of his courtship makes you swoon. You can’t believe this is really happening to you. He is SO amazing, so wonderful it doesn’t feel real. You feel desirable and intoxicated by his ardor and intensity. The romance is magical, Disney-like with that fairytale-like quality that leaves you floating on air.
- Totally Charming – A player manages to say all the right things. How does he know exactly what you want to hear, but oh he DOES. His words are like music to your ears as he tells you how sexy you are, how much he wants you, that he doesn’t understand where you’ve been all his life. You are the answer to his hopes and dreams and feel so lucky that he sees you as the prize.
- Sweeps You Off Your Feet – A player renders you defenseless as you throw caution to the wind. What the hell! This feels so good, who cares. You just want to go with it. This is seduction as an art form because, yes, he is THAT GOOD.
- Secrecy Is Key – A player doesn’t share his life with you. It seems instead, that you are his life. You don’t meet his friends or family or get blended into his full life. You don’t see where he lives and he doesn’t leave his cell phone around.
If you recognize these signs, BEWARE. If you ask yourself, “Is he a player?” the answer is most likely yes. He’s a man who thrives on conquest. And once he has his fill, he will move on to his next conquest, leaving you in the dust. He’ll sweep you off your feet, then dump you on your butt. He lives for the thrill of a woman’s complete adoration. His ego needs to constantly be conquering and winning in a romantic cycle that never ends.
Save yourself the heartbreak of dating a player. If you wonder if this romance is too good to be true and see these signs, take things more slowly. Put him off a bit. Make him wait to see you and set a date ahead of time, rather than cancel your plans. Once you establish boundaries, he may disappear in search of a woman who will play his game.