Dating after divorce? Are you still bitter or angry?
Singles today seem to be more bitter and angry than ever. And the Internet allows them to say anything and speak their minds. Is this a good thing? I’m not so sure. In my opinion, bitter begets bitter and anger attracts more anger. It appears to be building on itself rather than working itself out.
You might think voicing your complaints to friends, on twitter, on blog posts, etc. is a way to let it go. Is it working for you? Or do you still have all the same feelings? Getting things off your chest is a good practice. But when it becomes fun to complain, you have surpassed the benefits and moved on to a new hobby. There is a big downside to man bashing (or woman bashing of course)
In this blog on HuffPost Divorce, they created a slide show with 27 different twitter postings using the hashtag #Idontwantyouif . The comments fell into several categories that won’t surprise you too much:
- You are a cheater
- You have too much baggage
- You flirt with others or my friends
- You don’t plan on staying
- I won’t be your rebound
- You don’t put God first
- You don’t put me first
Get Clear on What Doesn’t Work for You
Hey, I am all for being clear on what you don’t want and what doesn’t work for you. This is especially important if you have a habit of attracting men with similar flaws. The best way to put an end to that pattern is to be fully conscious of the behaviors that don’t work for you. In fact, I have my dating coaching clients make a list of the experiences they never want to relive and the red flags tipping them off to what is coming with their type of guy.
When Complaining and Negativity Become Your New Hobby
My point in this blog is to heighten your awareness that negativity serves a purpose. You do need to know about yourself in relationship. After all, dating is a journey for self discovery. No question about that. However, when you make complaining about men and talking about what you don’t want is your priority – the thing you spend most of your time on, that starts to get in your way.
Complaining about what is and negativity never made anyone happier. So the next time you think about what’s trending and want to jump on the band wagon, please think again.
Dating After Divorce and The Law of Attraction
According to the Law of Attraction “like attracts like”. What that means is over-focus on what you don’t want can actually attract MORE OF WHAT YOU DON’T WANT! Go ahead, say your piece. Then please let it go and move on. Rather than clinging to your past hurt and disappointments, open yourself up to new possibilities.
Dating After Divorce – You Can Find Love Again
When you can let go, you know your healing process has moved on to the next level. And that level is where you can once again find love. Underneath all that anger, you know that’s exactly what you want right? As your dating coach, that is what I want for you too. I dream of you finding a new and better love. A man who is supportive, fun, loyal, healthy, successful, confident, with a great sense of humor and a really cute smile. A man who has time for you, respects you, and accepts you as you accept him.
When you are ready to move on from anger and be the love you want – you become a magnetic force for that love that cannot be denied. And love will be attracted into your life. I’ve seen it over and over with my clients. The love you want and deserve is not only out there for you, but completely possible. Focus on allowing it to come into your life now.