Are you dating after 40 and wanting a spiritual man? That’s certainly your choice. But is it a real deal breaker? What’s really important to you?
He has to be spiritual
As a woman dating after 40, you have some clear ideas about who the right man for you. With some life experience behind you, you certainly know what you don’t want.
What’s on your list for the ideal man?
As a dating coach for women dating after 40 , I am a fan of making a list of what you want in your ideal mate. Why not put everything down on paper? This process sends a message to the Universe and helps attract that guy to you. However, remembering that you are simply describing your ideal man – it’s so important to be realistic as well. Yes, ask for whatever you want by all means. I’m not here to tell you want you can and cannot have.
And yet, I am here to be a voice of reason. While there is nothing wrong with wanting every item on your list or a spiritual man, understanding that you might not get every single thing is smart too. Hopefully you will get the majority of qualities you seek in a romantic partner.
Prioritize your “must haves”
So, when my dating coaching clients tell me they are very spiritual (not religious) and they MUST be with a man who lives by the same principles, I’m going to admit that I wince a little. I do. The reason is because some personality requirements are more prevalent and easier to find than others. Connecting with an honest man you can trust, who has a kind heart – ABSOLUTELY. Finding a man who shares your same religious views, that’s reasonable too.
Unfortunately, finding a man with those Universal spiritual principles is a much bigger request. Women are into this stuff – the Law of Attraction, healing and energetic way of seeing the world. This is vastly more popular among women. After all, this philosophy stem from the divine feminine. As a result, the number of men who embrace this type of spirituality is very slim.
Does that mean you cannot have what you want? No, not really. But it sure does dramatically limit your pool of applicants.
Men have their own style of spirituality
Over the years, I have noticed that men dating after 40 often have their own unique connection to the divine, if you are open to seeing it. For example, while my husband read a few books on astrology in his younger days, he doesn’t subscribe totally to my spiritual philosophy.
Yet, Paul is very attuned to the animal and plant kingdoms. He feeds the birds conscientiously. He will point out an owl hooting in the dead of night that I never would have heard on my own. He sees animals all around as we walk through the woods that would get past my attention for sure.
For me, I wanted to find a man who would accept my spiritual principles. I figured that was enough. I could still share my viewpoint and philosophy with my girlfriends as I always have. These women are open to spirituality. But not all my girlfriends. Do you drop your girlfriends who don’t hold your same spiritual beliefs? Not likely – I hope.
Hey, if this is paramount to your happiness, than by all means wait for that spiritual guy. I have a friend who married after 50 for the first time, waiting until she found a man who shared the same guru. That’s OK by me – it was her choice and it’s your as well.
But, if you are dating after 40 want to find love sooner rather than later, let go a bit on how your man MUST BE SPIRITUAL and into your healing work and self help books, etc. That can still be a big part of your life AND you can enjoy the love of a good man too – all at the very same time. Life offers amazing possibilities when you can open up to them.