You need to understand men to know why they sometimes disappear
If you have dated, you have probably wondered why the guy you were seeing suddenly stopped asking you out. I’m talking about the initial dating phase including the first four – six dates. There are countless possibilities why he bolts. In this post I’m going to discuss five reasons he chose to stop dating you that are all about him. Then, in the next post, I’ll share another five reasons that might be about you.
First, to understand men, let’s look into what’s going on with the man you were dating.
1. You remind him of someone else – Yes, your date sees some familiar qualities about you and maybe his ex or his mom or his high school girlfriend who broke his heart. Once he notices the connection, he just can’t take it and so decides to move on. There is nothing you can do about this. It’s just the way it is and shows you that you were not meant to be as a couple.
2. He doesn’t know what he wants – His lack of clarity about what he wants can extend to his life in general or be as specific as what he wants in a woman. He simply doesn’t know and that confusion makes it difficult for him to want to stay with anyone woman, not just you. This man often flits from woman to woman in an aimless wandering. It’s not you at all, this is completely about him. A man who doesn’t have clarity about what he wants in life or in a relationship is impossible to please or hold onto.
3. He’s not relationship ready – Let’s say you hit it off with a guy fast. He pursues you aggressively and seems to be downright crazy about you. And just when things are getting hot and filled with romance and fun…poof! He disappears. this can be so difficult to deal with – the disappointment can be painful.When emotions start to flow and intimacy kicks in, the man who is not relationship ready will retreat to keep himself safe.
Think about it this way, if he was the right man for you, he would never take off on you like that. When a man withdraws and does not return, no amount of begging or pleading will help your case. The best thing you can possibly do is withdraw as well and accept that he is not relationship ready.
4. He’s on the rebound and recovering – Beware the rebound man who needs attention and admiration and will seek it out anywhere he can. He is not thinking straight or even considering who will be compatible with for the long run. His needs are more immediate. When you hook up with Mr. Rebound, you will soothe his spirit and bolster his ego. Your time together might be fun and it feel good. But once he feels rejuvenated, he swiftly moves on.
To understand men is to realize that his rebounding meant he wasn’t really ready and not the right man for you. As a dating coach, this is why I recommend that a woman never nurse a man back to relationship health from a breakup or divorce – when you do, you invest and often lose.
5. He found someone else – It happens sometimes, your guy meets another woman who seems so right. No matter how good what you currently have feels, that next moment he is captivated by another. The truth is, it could happen to anyone and there’s not much you can do, particularly if you weren’t exclusive yet. Luckily, this isn’t an every day occurrence. So if it comes up, to understand men, recognize that the right man for you would not be tempted.
Watch for the next post on Why he stopped calling? – 5 things about you
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