How to Understand Men and Know You’re in the Right Relationship
Sometimes you know right away that you and your man are a great match. It’s just magical and all aspects of how you interact with him feel great. But things don’t always happen like they do in the storybooks. There are other times when you might feel confused on so many levels. You might not be sure how he feels. Or you are crazy about some pieces, but others, well you rather not think about them.
It’s not only about how to understand men. You also need to understand yourself and know what works for you and what doesn’t. The journey to find love is filled with opportunities to get to know yourself better too. Here is a list of seven red flags that let you know you might not be with the right man.
1. You can’t be yourself around him. Yeah, you really like this guy. But, you are a mess of insecurity whenever you are around him. You don’t feel comfortable and can’t seem to relax. Maybe you feel nervous or worry about every little thing you say and do. This is not a good sign.
You want a man to love you for who you are right now in this moment. He has to love you with your makeup off or all messed up. He has to love you when you are sick, tired or cranky. Of course you want to be your best most of the time you are around him, especially in the beginning. But life does throw curve balls and when that happens, you need to know he can stay in the game.
Now, this situation might be an indication of your own poor self esteem. It can also indicate you’re with the wrong guy. Only you know for sure, but if this describes your relationship, and you see another one of the red flags below, you might need to rethink the relationship.
2. He doesn’t stay in touch. You want a man who wants to see how you are, tell you big news, or just hear the sound of your voice. You want a man who wants to spend time with you and saves time in his busy calendar to stay connected.
Of course there are men who are super busy career guys who work like fiends. Maybe he has to cancel due to working late. Or doesn’t call because he’s away on business. Whatever his reasons, these are excuses to some extent. He is demonstrating that his job (or whatever), is more important than your relationship. Once in a while this can happen in any relationship. But if its his standard operating procedure, that’s a red flag he might not be the right man for you.
3. He doesn’t follow through on promises and plans. Your guy says the sweetest things! He talks about future plans or even what you’ll do over the weekend. But, he doesn’t call to set it up and time goes by without a plan. Or he has to change plans all the time because something comes up.
As a dating coach, one thing I know for sure is that talk is cheap and easy. The proof is in the pudding which is his ability to follow through. Empty promises start to stink after a while, no matter how sweet they sound initially. You want to be with a man who can keeps his promises and wants to make you happy. If your guy doesn’t do this, that’s a red flag you are dating the wrong man.
I’ll share four more red flags that let you know you aren’t dating the right man in the next blog post.