You Have to Meet Men to Find Love
You may think that headline is silly – of course you need to meet men to find love and lots of them! That’s why knowing what men really look for visually in a woman matters. What criteria sets you apart from other women?
These tips I’ll be sharing might not be what you think. They are much simpler than you probably expect. But I get this advice from MEN themselves. Before I actually tell you what men want, I want to first alert you to something you want to ignore. That’s right, you want to pay absolutely no attention to this particular source of information about what men want. Are you ready?
Don’t let what you read in men’s online dating profiles fill your head about what men want. Remember, a profile is like your ultimate wish list. When men write their online dating profile, they express the qualities they seek in their ideal woman. That’s what you do as well right? But this is not exactly a true description of the women they will choose to date. So, don’t read all those profiles and get depressed about what men write. That’s a big mistake.
Let me tell you about Dave Barry, a Pulitzer Prize winning humor columnist for 25 years whose work appeared in 500+ US newspapers and abroad. Dave has also written a total of 30 books among many other accomplishments. He is a contributor to a new book entitle The Better Bombshell and I read a section of what he wrote. He’s funny, down-to-earth and makes his point quickly. Let me give you the highlights.
1. Most men don’t like short hair on women.
It’s true and is confirmed constantly for me by the single and coupled men I speak with on a regular basis. They want hair that is touchable and longer, like at least touching your shoulders. Dave gave a list of the women who look great in short hair: 1) Halle Barry 2) The late Audrey Hepburn.
He then went on to say if your name isn’t on the list, you can still get a short hair cut, but don’t expect men to like it. And, if you ask a man whether he likes a short haircut- he is most likely to just lie so he won’t hurt your feelings.
2. Most men like any woman who has a chance of being naked.
If you do the research, you will find this standard repeated over and over again. Men are not nearly as picky about body types as women think they are. Or as women are about themselves. Yes, if you give them a preference of model beautiful, they might select that OR NOT.
One time I was out with my husband and his single friend Jimmy. I pointed out several gorgeous blonds at the bar and asked why Jimmy didn’t approach them. His response was, “Are you kidding? Too high maintenance!” He wanted nothing to do with those beautiful gals.
I’ve read lots and lots of material written by men, male dating coaches and other dating experts. They seem to say very similar things about what men want in a woman. Let’s start with a pulse.
Now, I’m being somewhat flippant because men do want a woman who takes good care of herself. Especially over 45 or 50, they want to see you still have a sense of style and dress with a youthful look vs. frumpy. They want you to a little wear makeup to enhance what God gave you and promote that youthful glow.
But the real truth is, you don’t need to be super model thin. In fact, most men want a woman with some meat on her bones to squeeze and hold onto.
To Meet Men, Be Your Best Self
Yes, that’s it! I hope you feel some relief knowing this. You don’t need to torture yourself. You can stop that intense self-berating inner chatter right now because it’s just not valid. Women find love every day and they are not all super models with waist-length hair. But they are women who make the most of who they are and what they have.
If you wear flattering, stylish clothes, some make up and don’t choose a pixie haircut, you are 85% of the way there. Add confidence and mix it with a friendly, open attitude and you are at 99%! Just being friendly alone bumps you up near the top of the list since the majority of women won’t give men a chance.
As your dating coach, I tell you this to remind you that you are already good enough as is to meet men and find love. Just dress it up a bit, get out there and smile! And if you want a good laugh, read the excerpt from Dave’s contribution to The Better Bombshell