Dating Advice: Can Your Girlfriends Get in the Way of Your Dating Success?
I just love my girlfriends. How could we survive without them? Through thick and thin, our female friends are there to support, laugh and commiserate with. Especially when it comes to dating! Isn’t it fun to talk about dating and men with your gal pals? But do these chat fests encourage or discourage your dating agenda and hopes to find love?
I’m going to take a big risk here and tell you what I truly think. This is my honest dating advice as a dating coach for women for 11 years. It’s not a good thing. Complaining about men and dating will not inspire, encourage or support your goal to find love. But here’s what it can do:
- Deflate your dreams of love
- Demotivate you from going to singles events
- Dissuade you from future efforts
- Depress you about the possibility of meeting the right man
- Disturb any positive thought patterns you have developed
- Deactivate your affirmations, and…
- Discourage you from even trying to find love
Your girlfriends are powerful influencers in your life. Do not underestimate the impact their opinions, thoughts and beliefs have on you. Which is why I want to make a suggestion that you might find sort of shocking:
Choose the girlfriends you talk to about dating wisely. The ones who feel optimistic for you and themselves about finding love offer the most support and add to your vision of meeting a life long romantic partner.
I realize that might seem like a difficult thing to do – not talk to every gal pal about such an important aspect of your life. During my own dating journey I learned this the hard way as I did most lessons. Some girlfriends probably meant well, but weren’t aware of how they negatively impacted me. However, that didn’t change the fact they often left me feeling hopeless.
Dating Advice from Girlfriends Might Not Be Accurate
I also got loads of very bad advice. Here are a few of the most common pieces of truly bad dating advice I got from my well meaning friends and family members:
- You’ll find love when you stop looking for it
- Go ahead and sleep with him – show him what he’d be missing
- He’s just saying that, he can’t really mean it
- All the good men are taken any way so stop worrying about it
- Men are all the same!
As I discovered, there a lots of women out there who have strong opinions about men, but don’t actually know anything about what men are really thinking or doing. Just so you know, a strong opinion does not make it true or valuable.
So when your friends say things like,” I went to that singles event and it stunk!”, its time to stop and think for yourself. It might not have been the right event for her., but it could be wonderful for you. In addition, every event is different – there is always the chance new people will attend. And you and your friend might not appreciate the same kind of men, so she might again be off base for your situation.
Dating Advice from Girlfriends Might Conflict With Your Law of Attraction Efforts
Last but not least, if you are applying the Law of Attraction to your dating journey, you want to stay buoyant and optimistic for those affirmations to work. When your energy gets pulled down by a friend who deflates your dreams of love, that starts to fight with your affirmations. The two things sort of cancel each other out which is a shame.
The Law of Attraction is built on elevating your energy to the level of your desire. More than anything you want to be around women who add to your positivity, not detract from it.
I’m not saying you have to end any friendships. But what my best dating advice does suggest is to avoid discussing men and dating with women who are not aligned with what you want. If you know they are going to drag your energy and hopes down, pick another topic to discuss.
If you want to ask someone more objective for advice, ask me during my monthly Inner Circle Calls. The first Monday night of every month you can get savvy dating answers to your questions to clear up confusion, demystify situations, understand men, get dating tips and so much more. Read more and register now for the next call and the dating advice you need.