Dating Advice for Women in Midlife
When a man whistles at you, how does that make you feel? According to the Daily Mail, an old-fashioned wolf-whistle encourages 38% of women to stick to their diets and 54% of those asked admitted they loved receiving one. Clearly many women think its flattering.
Some of my dating coaching clients tell me this type of thing is disrespectful and it makes them very angry. I know what they mean. At 40, I was still single and had no prospects of finding love. But then I underwent a huge transformation in mind set that changed my love life for good! I ended up dating 30 men in 15 months to meet the man who became my adorable husband.
I had dated in high school and college, but was heartbroken by my college boyfriend. Then came an embarrassing dating desert of nearly 18 years (22-40) in which I barely dated at all. I had two three months relationships and that was basically it.
But once I hit 40, I realized I had to get serious if I wanted to find love. For me that meant looking at what I was doing that contributed to my single status which turned out to be quite a bit. I had to break down walls I didn’t even know I had put up to keep me safe, but also kept me sadly single. This is the kind of dating advice I share with my clients today.
My “dating awakening” allowed me to finally get out there in a big way to meet men. I did something at least once a week to mingle. Consciously interacting with more men opened my eyes to many things I hadn’t thought about before. One of those things was my feminine charm and another was wolf whistles.
Before my awakening, I was insulted by men who whistled. My thoughts included:
- How could he treat me that way?
- I’m not a piece of meat!
- How sexist!
- That is so rude!
- Who does he think he is anyway?
As I softened my viewpoint, trying to understand and interact with more men, I came to realize a wolf whistle was actually a good thing. My old interpretation held it as obnoxious, but I realized it meant a man found me attractive. I hadn’t looked at myself this way in years. Suddenly, a man’s whistle became a compliment. “Hey, that guy thinks I’m attractive!” is what would come into my head when I heard that occasional whistle.
Of course I didn’t run over and give the guy my number and that wouldn’t be my dating advice to you either. I simply took it as praise and let that feed my ego. For so long I had been disconnected from my feminine energy and desirability and when I woke up from my long, dateless slumber, I saw this type of communication in a whole new light.
Today, when I work with my dating coaching clients who complain about singles dances they consider to be meat markets and men who look them up and down or whistle, I share this big shift in perception. This dating advice is a gigantic game changer let me tell you. As women rekindle their feminine energy and interact with men from this softer place, they see these interactions as in fact flattering, even if not ideal. And it ends up helping my dating coaching clients to build their confidence, self esteem and sense of desirability.
My Last Piece of Dating Advice about Whistles
Next time a man whistles at you, don’t frown at him or make ugly gestures. Instead, let it sink in as his way of showing you appreciation for being an attractive woman. You don’t need to speak to him or let him into your life if he is inappropriate. However, the best dating advice i can give you is to silently thank him for recognizing your true beauty because you really are one hot woman who deserves plenty of male attention.
Photo Credit: Gunnar Ries