Don’t Call Him: It’s Been 3 Days – Should I Call Him?

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Don’t Call Him!

Single women – please don’t call him!  I know it’s not easy to wait and wonder, especially when you think it’s so easy to just pick up the phone and reach out to that new guy. Read on to find out why this essential dating advice is completely in your best interest.

Dear Ronnie – The Dating Coach,

I went on a date 3 days ago with a guy I met online. We texted for several weeks before he finally asked me out. Normally I wouldn’t stick around that long, but I got the impression early on that he is fairly shy.

The date went well. He texted me within 30-minutes of us saying goodbye, making small talk, and went on to say I was beautiful and he had fun. He’s alluded to seeing me again in the future and things we could do, but not actually asked or made plans.

I know its only been 3 days, but I’m not sure what the norm is. One of my friends suggested he may be holding off because he knows I’m in the middle of finals week and I’ve been pretty busy studying. I don’t know. Still seems plans could be made for in the future, after finals right?

I’m hesitant to believe he’s lost interest because he constantly initiates contact off and on all day, every day. I’m new back in the dating market and I’m pretty much learning the rules of the game for the first time.

Please help,
Itching to Dial


Dear Itching,

This is one of the hardest things for women to understand and follow through on. But I urge you  – Don’t call him! If you want to know how much a man is interested in you, there is only one way to do that. Don’t call him and don’t do anything! This is where you want to rely on your feminine charm and understand how the Yin Yang Dating Principle works.

You say he’s still emailing or texting, but not asking for another date? Is that right? Here’s my dating advice and solution:

Stop answering his texts and emails.

When you pull back, you rely on your Yin energy of being receptive. You allow the man to miss you and wonder – “Hey where’d she go?” Then, if he doesn’t want to lose touch, he’ll call you! This is so much better than trying to pursue him and taking over the Yang role of action. Don’t fall into this trap!

The Yin Yang Dating Principle is very much like ballroom dancing. The man leads and the woman follows. Allowing the man to lead and pursue you is by far the best, and in truth the only way to discover how much he wants to be with you. If you try to take the lead, most men don’t like being pursued and don’t want to compete with the male energy you are expending to win him over. They will lose interest and disappear. This happens ALL THE TIME!

That means, if you call him, ask him out, buy tickets to things, email all the time, you are pursuing him. He may go along for the ride because  he feels flattered, curious or hopeful he’ll get lucky. But none of that means he’s deeply interested in you for the long run! Just don’t call him. Seriously.

My proven dating advice is to sit back and respond when he contacts you – this is better for collecting information about what he’ll do to win you over. The vast majority of dating experts agree on this concept and strategy. Taking this a step further, if you want your guy to call and ask you out, totally stop responding to his technology communications. Don’t answer his texts and emails until after he calls you.

Whatever you do, don’t call him.

If this man is truly interested, he’ll call you and ask you out. Get scarce to get his attention! Rely on your feminine charm and Yin energy to draw him to you. And if this doesn’t work and he still doesn’t come around, then  you’ve learned something crucial to dating this guy – he’s just not that into you. That’s when you know it’s time to move on to seek a better man.


Photo Credit: Plenty.r

11 responses on “Don’t Call Him: It’s Been 3 Days – Should I Call Him?

  1. Ronnie Ann Ryan Post author

    If he asks why you aren’t responding, you can say that since he hasn’t asked you out, you figured he was no longer genuinely interested. Or you can tell him that texting and emailing with a man is great supplementary communication between dates and phone calls. But when a man just texts you without dates, you tend to move on.

  2. Emily

    So even after the first date went well, he pays, he kisses you and says “I’ll talk to you soon”, it’s been 3 days since the date and no text back… should I lose hope or is he waiting for me to text him?

  3. Ronnie Ann Ryan Post author

    Hi Emily, If you want, you get one chance to contact him first. Don’t say anything about why you haven’t heard from him. Think of something cute or funny or light-hearted and see if he picks up the ball and runs with it. Maybe you will jump start things again. Just don’t do it more than once because then you are chasing him. Unfortunately, a good first date doesn’t automatically mean you’ll have a second.

  4. Joy

    I’ve been dating this guy for a year and half now, I broke up with him for three months in between, we’ve had quite a good relationship with a few quarrels however sometimes we don’t communicate for two to three days, no calls, no texting, no dates. I used to be initially cool with it but now I’m no longer cool with it, I want to get serious and want daily communication because I believe if we can go off three days without communication because we had a quarrel then it’s wrong. If we have quarrels we should be able to resolve it before the next day not going two to three days off before communicating because one person made the other angry and vice versa. What do you think?

  5. Ronnie Ann Ryan Post author

    Hi Joy, Yes I agree – lack of communication will never bring you closer. If he is unwilling to discuss the situation to resolve it, this is not going to get better. How will you ever work things out? Not sure what role you play in this communication shut down but I do agree, this is not a good sign for a lasting, loving relationship. I’d think long and hard if he’s the right man for you. And for a loving future, be sure to consider how you might better communicate as well.

  6. Debra Green

    This was fantastic Ronnie, thank you so much! I just found you today and I wish I had done so sooner. I’m a 46 yr old, 8-yrs divorced mother of 3 nearly grown children. Had several baaad relationships since the divorce and I keep learning. I find your advice to be spot on. Just last week I stopped texting with a man wouldn’t ever meet me in person after three weeks (2 weeks too long, I know, lol) and just reading from you that I did the right thing was such a relieving confirmation. I am also super excited that you speak about yin and yang energy and what we send out to the Universe. That’s synchronicity right there that I found you, because that is right up my alley. 🙂
    So, thank you again for sharing your knowledge and insight, and brutal but compassionate honesty with us! I am definitely a fan after just one day! (Does that say anything about my dating style???JK! LOL)

  7. Anita

    Ok so long story short; I met a man in June from out of town. We meet once a month at different vacation spots. We communicate on a daily, but lately we both have a lot going on and I haven’t talked with him for 4 days, but we did communicate by email. I miss this guy so bad and all I want to do is call him. He did call me 3 days ago and email and I was unavailable. When i reached back out, I guess he was unavailable. Should I reach back out?

  8. Ronnie Ann Ryan Post author

    Hi Anita,

    It’s been 5 months so you can call him again although why isn’t he calling you back? I’m concerned about your strong attachment to this man who lives far away. Getaways are fun but, not a real relationship. If you were taking this lightly, that would be one thing. But it sounds like you’ve fallen hard for this guy. I don’t know what kind of agreement if any that you’ve made but I think reading this post on long distance relationships will give you some perspective on the uphill battle you might be facing with this guy.

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