Find Love: Which is Scarier? Dating or Staying Single for Life?

Is Finding Love Scary?

Do you wonder “How can I find love?” Then, vacillate between the terror of dating and staying single for the rest of your life. If you are like many of my dating coaching clients (women over 40, 50 and 60), the idea of growing old alone is not so appealing. On the other hand, the idea of doing something to find love doesn’t thrill you either.

Here’s one of the biggest truths about finding a good man to share your life with – it’s a CHOICE. At this time in history, women are so blessed with freedom and choices. That’s right – being with a man and finding love has become a choice.

Because of the sexual revolution and women’s liberation from the 1960’s and 1970’s, most women have the ability to be financially independent. And since sex outside of marriage no longer has that horrid stigma attached to it, there is no need to be married or in a committed relationship if you don’t want one. Viva la freedom!

So, if you do want love and a man in your life, you have to make that decision. Then you’ll have to take steps to DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT.

As a dating coach, you can imagine that I meet lots of women. What they have to say varies across the board.

1. I can’t be bothered.
A huge percentage can’t be bothered looking for a man and love is simply not a priority at all. Hey, its a free world and a loving relationship with a man is not a requirement like it once was. You can live a fabulous life as a single woman. If that is what you want – then go for it!

2. If it happens, it happens.
Plenty of women also tell me they can take it or leave it. They say, “If it happens, it happens,” and feel like just leaving it all up to fate. Again – that is their prerogative right? No one needs to feel pressured to be in love or have a man in their life.

3. I don’t have time to date.
I get this one a lot. Yes, these women would like love but aren’t sure how to fit finding love into their hectic schedules. This is where your freedom of choice starts to come into play. You see, if you do want to find love, you will have to FIND TIME and make dating a priority. Without effort, very little gets accomplished in life.

4.  I’m tired of being lonely, but I’m not sure what to do.
This is where desire starts to increase. And with added desire, sometimes the motivation to find love can be found. This is the first step in finding love – when you decide that you need help to figure out what to do to make your dreams come true. Empowerment comes from taking this step to get the results you want.

5. I’ve done dating – all the good men are taken.
The woman who says this to me has done a bit of dating or may be a lot. Yet, she has not managed to connect with a decent man or found a relationship that lasted. sometimes she hasn’t met enough men. Other times she’s met tons of men, but none had what she wanted or proved to have  long-term potential.

6. I’m ready to find love now.
Now you’re talking! When I meet a woman who wants to find love now, I know she is ready to shake things up. She is serious about her goal and will push herself to achieve it. This woman invests her time, emotions and money to ready herself so she can be the most attractive in terms of confidence, style, and understanding men and dating. She will make the most of her efforts by being savvy about the dating process.

Once you decide the prospect of being alone for the rest of your life is so much scarier than looking for love, that’s when things will start to turn around. I’m here whenever you are ready. My greatest joy is sharing in your success. The possibility of finding love is real and completely doable.

 

 Photo Credit: Pedro Ferreira

 

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